Update - feeling deflated!

[Mojo61]

Hi guys. Haven't posted for a while as I've been away on holiday to Lanzarote (which I never thought I'd actually go through with, but I did)

Anyway, first day I felt a bit anxious and awoke with the horrible morning anxiety, but by the next day it had all disappeared and there then followed 2 weeks of absolute bliss, not a bit of anxiety - not one bit!!! And don't forget I've been ill for almost a year now so to have 2 weeks of freedom from this awful condition...well it felt like paradise!

Then I came back home to the UK and it has all started up again. I'm so upset that I've just been crying the whole time because I truly thought I'd got rid of it, that I'd somehow reset the clock by having this holiday. Sadly the ******* thing wasn't finished with me yet, lulled me into a false sense of security yet again before delivering the coup de grâce....

The only good thing to come out of this was that I now know for sure that it is all in my head, because if it wasn't then my anxiety would surely have carried on whilst I was on holiday? It is just deciphering how to combat it because I can't afford a permanent holiday - yes, I even thought about moving to Lanzarote if it was going to cure my anxiety!

[Carnation]

This is quite common Mojo.
Happens to me every Turn the memories in to realitI go away. I even get pre-night anxiety before I leave.

You will have been in a different mind set when you were away.
You were living in the moment. All responsibilities and worries were left at home.
What you have to try and do is introduce some of things you did away in to your normal life routine.

It's not that you are ill again, but one thing that you must realise, is that anxiety can disappear completely, so it is possible to reduce your anxiety and that is very encouraging. :)

[Mojo61]

Thanks Carnation. I'm trying to make changes in my life that might help reduce my anxiety. I've got another little job, this time back with the horses which I love, and I've decided to join an online dating site as I've been on my own for almost 10 years now since my hubby died and I realise now that I'm very lonely. When I was on holiday I was with people all day whereas here I'm on my own 99% of the time and feel miserable, and there's nothing anxiety loves more than a bit of misery to latch onto!

[Carnation]

Maybe you could look at some classes/groups with things you enjoy; say for instance, 'horses'. You could meet someone through that.
I am not a lover of dating agencies, that would cause me anxiety in itself and you have to be careful be because you don't know who you are meeting up with.
I don't want to put you off, but just take care and maybe look at other options first such as some evening classes.

[dale12345]

I really hope you feel better, I think you are doing an awesome job.

[Magic]

Good Luck to you Mojo. Chatting to people will perk you up :hugs:x