Nina102
10-11-16, 01:07
Hi, I'm sorry if this post is quite long (or rather really long) but I've been really struggling the past few weeks and the past few days have been hell for me, which is why I decided to sign up.
I don't expect to get a medical diagnose or for someone to magically tell me what is exactly wrong, but I'm just wondering if anyone here has been through similar ordeals.
For the past few months I've been noticing strange little things that never happened to me before; heart flutters, blood clots in nose, frequent muscle twitching, and waking up gasping for air. I didn't really panic over any of it at the time because the feeling that my heart was fluttering and waking, feeling like I stopped breathing only happened once in a blue moon. I assumed the blood clots was a side effect of flonase which I take for my allergies, and the muscle twitching seemed more amusing than anything. So I let it all go.
Now, starting early in October while drifting off to sleep one night, I jolted up feeling like my heart stopped. However now looking back at it, I probably stopped breathing but this was probably the first time I experienced it while somewhat conscious. I panicked a little of course. I've always been somewhat of a hypochondriac. I looked it up online, saw that it's pretty common and nothing to worry about since I had no chest pain and it only happened once, so I went back to sleep. Everything was fine.
Next night I went to bed peacefully (oh, how I never thought I'd miss that as much as I do) and woke up in the middle of the night with a throbbing pain in my left thigh. Had no idea what was going on, so I got up, walked around a bit, and the pain went away. Went back to sleep and the next morning I was completely fine. So I figured whatever it was, it was gone for good. How wrong I was. The next night, same thing. Woke up in the middle of the night with horrible throbbing pain in my left thigh. This time it wasn't going away. I walked around the house for 2 hours that night till I got so exhausted that I slept through the pain. It still hurt a bit the next morning and the following night, but the pain kept getting duller each night. I had a appointment with my family doctor that week and told him about the pain and how it only seemed to occur at night in bed. He was puzzled as much as I was, but assumed it must have been a pinched nerve or perhaps shingles and to keep a eye out for a rash. He told me to book another appointment next week if things don't get better, or in the meantime go to the ER.
The night after my appointment I got strangly weak and sick. I don't know if I was doing it to myself because I never got any answers about my leg, or if something was going on. So I decided to go to bed and get some rest. While trying to go to sleep that night I got a massive nose bleed. Nothing like I had before. Freaked me out enough to go to the ER. Of course, no answers but they reassured me it was nothing serious, and to see my doctor in a weeks time if things don't get better.
After that, things actually improved for awhile. The pain in my leg was completely gone and my appetite was slowly coming back. I started exercising again and tried to get myself back to feeling normal. I was still experiencing strange symptoms though, like little pains throughout my body. Mostly on the left side of my body and left arm (which of course worried me a little because I'm familiar with heart attack symptoms). However I didn't think about it too much because they were gone as quick as they came and I never had no chest pain. So for a week or so, I felt decent. Something was still off, I could tell, but I assumed I was getting back to myself.
Ha. How wrong I was.
On October 30 I had a weird sensation around my waist. Like there was a band wrapped around my waist and someone was squeezing it really tight. It only lasted two days, so finally after that went away I thought "OKAY. Now I'm going to get back to normal". Nope. Wrong again. This is where the worst problem started happening. On November 1, I woke up feeling like I stopped breathing but this time I couldn't get back to sleep because everytime I started to drift off, it would happen again, and again, and again. I felt like I was forgetting to breath.
Next night, same thing but worse. So the following day all I could think about was my breathing. I started to panic about it so I went to the ER. After waiting 4 hours and nobody getting called in to see a doctor, I gave up, went home and took a muscle relaxer that night which actually helped, but made me feel so drowsy the next day.
The next night, I decided to try and go to sleep without taking anything. I figured maybe this was like my leg and it will go away in a few days, but it didn't. That night I was up till 4 am trying to get to sleep. The same thing would happen; I would just start to doze off and my body would jolt awake feeling like I stopped breathing.
The next day I tried going to the ER again but it was so full I decided to just take another muscle relaxer, which worked and I actually felt great the following day; however, that night I tried to go to bed without taking anything again (actually I tried taking a bunch of magnesium because I read that helps relax the muscles as well) and I had the worst night ever. Tried to go to bed at 11pm to finally give up trying to sleep at 5am and went to the ER. Of course, they didn't do any testing. Instead, they gave me Lorazepam thinking it might be anxiety and told me to see my doctor this week.
I've tried Lorazepam twice now and while it relaxes me and don't make me dread going to bed, it doesn't stop the sleeping problem. I still feel like when my mind drifts off I stop breathing. I just don't panic about it so much.
So now I'm thinking it's not anxiety related but perhaps sleep apnea, but if it is sleep apnea it must be central sleep apnea since it's like my brain is actually forgetting to remind myself to breath so what the hell is causing that.
I'm also getting that pain in thigh again but this time it's in my left thigh.
Ugh. Today has been the worst day of my life by far. Broke down crying several times or more. I'm not sure if that's a side effect from Lorazepam which I took last night, but I've now got chronic depression.
I've got a doctor's appointment tomorrow and an appointment with a sleep clinic on Monday, but I'm honestly not even sure I can handle this for a few more nights.
The worst part is having those that I love watch me go through this, feeling helpless. It's affecting them too, I can tell, which is making me feel even sadder. My boyfriend of nearly 7 years, just lost his best friend earlier the year and his father a few years past. He tells me all the time now I'm the only thing he got. I can't imagine what it would do to him if something happened to me as well. And my parents as well who love me dearly, who have always done anything they could for me and my happiness.
The thing is, I feel like if the whole forgetting to breath when trying to sleep thing went away, I would be able to get back to myself. That's what is making me the most depressed and anxious because even when I felt sad or had a bit of anxiety in the past, the only thing I always looked forward to was getting a good nights sleep, or going to my parent's home where I grew up, and sleep in my own bed like I did ever since I was a kid.
All of that is gone. I don't have that comfort anymore. I wake up and dread having to go back to bed, knowing what I'll have to deal with the following night.
I'm just worried I'm going to be one of those cases that will go years through this till doctors finally figure out what's going on, or they'll simply dismiss it as anxiety or depression. I'm just not sure I can deal with this for a few more nights, let alone years.
I'm thinking about taking another muscle relaxer tonight as well, but I took a few magnesium supplements earlier...
I don't expect to get a medical diagnose or for someone to magically tell me what is exactly wrong, but I'm just wondering if anyone here has been through similar ordeals.
For the past few months I've been noticing strange little things that never happened to me before; heart flutters, blood clots in nose, frequent muscle twitching, and waking up gasping for air. I didn't really panic over any of it at the time because the feeling that my heart was fluttering and waking, feeling like I stopped breathing only happened once in a blue moon. I assumed the blood clots was a side effect of flonase which I take for my allergies, and the muscle twitching seemed more amusing than anything. So I let it all go.
Now, starting early in October while drifting off to sleep one night, I jolted up feeling like my heart stopped. However now looking back at it, I probably stopped breathing but this was probably the first time I experienced it while somewhat conscious. I panicked a little of course. I've always been somewhat of a hypochondriac. I looked it up online, saw that it's pretty common and nothing to worry about since I had no chest pain and it only happened once, so I went back to sleep. Everything was fine.
Next night I went to bed peacefully (oh, how I never thought I'd miss that as much as I do) and woke up in the middle of the night with a throbbing pain in my left thigh. Had no idea what was going on, so I got up, walked around a bit, and the pain went away. Went back to sleep and the next morning I was completely fine. So I figured whatever it was, it was gone for good. How wrong I was. The next night, same thing. Woke up in the middle of the night with horrible throbbing pain in my left thigh. This time it wasn't going away. I walked around the house for 2 hours that night till I got so exhausted that I slept through the pain. It still hurt a bit the next morning and the following night, but the pain kept getting duller each night. I had a appointment with my family doctor that week and told him about the pain and how it only seemed to occur at night in bed. He was puzzled as much as I was, but assumed it must have been a pinched nerve or perhaps shingles and to keep a eye out for a rash. He told me to book another appointment next week if things don't get better, or in the meantime go to the ER.
The night after my appointment I got strangly weak and sick. I don't know if I was doing it to myself because I never got any answers about my leg, or if something was going on. So I decided to go to bed and get some rest. While trying to go to sleep that night I got a massive nose bleed. Nothing like I had before. Freaked me out enough to go to the ER. Of course, no answers but they reassured me it was nothing serious, and to see my doctor in a weeks time if things don't get better.
After that, things actually improved for awhile. The pain in my leg was completely gone and my appetite was slowly coming back. I started exercising again and tried to get myself back to feeling normal. I was still experiencing strange symptoms though, like little pains throughout my body. Mostly on the left side of my body and left arm (which of course worried me a little because I'm familiar with heart attack symptoms). However I didn't think about it too much because they were gone as quick as they came and I never had no chest pain. So for a week or so, I felt decent. Something was still off, I could tell, but I assumed I was getting back to myself.
Ha. How wrong I was.
On October 30 I had a weird sensation around my waist. Like there was a band wrapped around my waist and someone was squeezing it really tight. It only lasted two days, so finally after that went away I thought "OKAY. Now I'm going to get back to normal". Nope. Wrong again. This is where the worst problem started happening. On November 1, I woke up feeling like I stopped breathing but this time I couldn't get back to sleep because everytime I started to drift off, it would happen again, and again, and again. I felt like I was forgetting to breath.
Next night, same thing but worse. So the following day all I could think about was my breathing. I started to panic about it so I went to the ER. After waiting 4 hours and nobody getting called in to see a doctor, I gave up, went home and took a muscle relaxer that night which actually helped, but made me feel so drowsy the next day.
The next night, I decided to try and go to sleep without taking anything. I figured maybe this was like my leg and it will go away in a few days, but it didn't. That night I was up till 4 am trying to get to sleep. The same thing would happen; I would just start to doze off and my body would jolt awake feeling like I stopped breathing.
The next day I tried going to the ER again but it was so full I decided to just take another muscle relaxer, which worked and I actually felt great the following day; however, that night I tried to go to bed without taking anything again (actually I tried taking a bunch of magnesium because I read that helps relax the muscles as well) and I had the worst night ever. Tried to go to bed at 11pm to finally give up trying to sleep at 5am and went to the ER. Of course, they didn't do any testing. Instead, they gave me Lorazepam thinking it might be anxiety and told me to see my doctor this week.
I've tried Lorazepam twice now and while it relaxes me and don't make me dread going to bed, it doesn't stop the sleeping problem. I still feel like when my mind drifts off I stop breathing. I just don't panic about it so much.
So now I'm thinking it's not anxiety related but perhaps sleep apnea, but if it is sleep apnea it must be central sleep apnea since it's like my brain is actually forgetting to remind myself to breath so what the hell is causing that.
I'm also getting that pain in thigh again but this time it's in my left thigh.
Ugh. Today has been the worst day of my life by far. Broke down crying several times or more. I'm not sure if that's a side effect from Lorazepam which I took last night, but I've now got chronic depression.
I've got a doctor's appointment tomorrow and an appointment with a sleep clinic on Monday, but I'm honestly not even sure I can handle this for a few more nights.
The worst part is having those that I love watch me go through this, feeling helpless. It's affecting them too, I can tell, which is making me feel even sadder. My boyfriend of nearly 7 years, just lost his best friend earlier the year and his father a few years past. He tells me all the time now I'm the only thing he got. I can't imagine what it would do to him if something happened to me as well. And my parents as well who love me dearly, who have always done anything they could for me and my happiness.
The thing is, I feel like if the whole forgetting to breath when trying to sleep thing went away, I would be able to get back to myself. That's what is making me the most depressed and anxious because even when I felt sad or had a bit of anxiety in the past, the only thing I always looked forward to was getting a good nights sleep, or going to my parent's home where I grew up, and sleep in my own bed like I did ever since I was a kid.
All of that is gone. I don't have that comfort anymore. I wake up and dread having to go back to bed, knowing what I'll have to deal with the following night.
I'm just worried I'm going to be one of those cases that will go years through this till doctors finally figure out what's going on, or they'll simply dismiss it as anxiety or depression. I'm just not sure I can deal with this for a few more nights, let alone years.
I'm thinking about taking another muscle relaxer tonight as well, but I took a few magnesium supplements earlier...