A year on - update

[Mojo61]

Well today marks exactly one year since all this anxiety malarkey started for me. I believe the terrorist attacks in Paris kicked it off because I can remember the horror and fear I felt that something so dreadful could be happening so close to home, and were we next? A couple of days later I awoke to the most awful panic and that was the start of it really. At the time I didn't know what it was and thought I was ill so I went to my GP who diagnosed anxiety.

I've had the most awful time, I really thought I was going mad and I begged to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital. Of course the doctor refused and then began months and months of what I can only describe as a living nightmare - intrusive thoughts, panic, terror, insomnia, anorexia, my hair fell out and I lost almost 3 stones in weight. I struggled along like this for 5 months before agreeing to try meds.

On 2nd April 2016 I started on 10mg citalopram, it didn't really do much so after 3 months I increased to 20mg and I've been on that dose since. I am now working 2 full days per week and one half day, I've been on holiday to Lanzarote (where my symptoms completely disappeared for 2 weeks!) and my appetite and sleep have got slowly better.

I'm still not 100%, but I know now that no amount of tablets will help if you are not prepared to help yourself. Citalopram gave me the breathing space to make those changes and I don't think I could have done it otherwise. There is still a long way to go and I still get the odd bad day but now I can recognise it for what it is, just thoughts that I've had a thousand times before and I try hard to ignore them.

I guess what I'm trying to say to anyone out there struggling is don't give up, it is a bloody long hard road but you WILL feel better and start to enjoy life once again - it just takes time and a lot of hard work! :bighug1:

[Mummytofour]

Mojo,

I have read some of your previous posts over the past couple of weeks since my anxiety sprung up again and I am so glad to hear your doing well. It is a long road to recovery isn't it. Wouldn't wish anxiety like this on my worst enemy.

I am currently going though the start up of citalopram for the 2nd time. Done a week at 10mg now on 3rd week of 20mg. Dr wants me to go to 30mg but I am seeing improvements so want to wait a bit longer. Still dealing with some side effects so don't want to push myself too far too quickly. I hope you continue to feel better x

[Debs21uk]

You've done brilliantly Gill and I admire you for facing so much when you could have gave up. Some of that is the tablet the other part is you and is a measure of your strength.

Mummytofour, the one thing I learned is don't let a dr push you higher on your meds than you need to go. The dr I saw did and it made things so much worse for me, give it a good time to level out then make changes. Stick to your guns x

[R1CH]

Yes well done Gill!

I just sent you a PM, sorry its a bit of a long one, I got a bit carried away! lol

:bighug1:

Rich x

[dale12345]

Good for you!!!:D

[pollynewsome]

Hi. Well done you. You are doing so well. I think the key to this message is you don't repair overnight it takes time. I know when I started cit I expected a change within the time scale that the leaflet says but it didn't happen. It was gradual for me but patience is important. Keep strong and happy xx

[Mummytofour]

Thanks debs, last time I was on cit I did have to go to 30mg as 20mg wasn't enough. Dr actually said to go from 20 to 40 but why do that when there's 30 in between. I am gonna give it a couple more weeks and go from there x

[Becky2785]

Hi mojo well done so pleased for you xxx

[Andy1718]

Great progress!!