My first post.... does it ever get easier?

[louisechackett]

Hi all,

I've stumbled across this website on the internet when looking for help and ideas on how to handle my anxiety.

I was on anti depressant medication for a couple of years but I feel I've always been more anxious as opposed to depressed and the meds. Ever balanced that.

Recently my anxiety is just awful. It manifests mainly over worries over my son who started high school in September. For his last term of primary school he had a few issues with "friends" who weren't treating him well at all and he's always struggled to make good friendships. When he started high school this continued until he made friends with another boy and things were going well but now the boy who was causing issues in primary is back on the scene with my sons new friend and again it seems like he's being left out etc. He says he's ok, he tells me they're all friends and that he has other friends too but for me all I see is the other two getting together whilst not asking my son if he wants to go and things like that.

I start freaking out with worry about it all. I am scared he hasn't got friends, or that he's going to end up in the same situation as at primary. I know he's been upset about it this week as he's said as much to me on Friday.

Yesterday he went out on his bike thinking he may find one or both of his friends but didn't manage to. His phone died and I didn't know where he was and so again I was freaking out. I had to leave work to go and look for him.

I can't seem to control any of this worry at all. I have been signed up to an online course to try and help manage things but am waiting for the log in details so if anyone has any tips or advice or just knowing I'm not alone would help.

Thanks
Louise

[Lucinda07]

Transition to secondary school can take some adjustment. I understand your anxiety about your son making friends, being isolated/excluded. You just want him to be happy.
I do not know what to suggest, but be there for him & offer support & encouragement. Perhaps your son could become more confident if he joined some club/activity - he may make new friends & not have to rely on just one person.
There is always Childline if your son wants to talk to someone in confidence.
I wish you well:)

[Sylver1975]

Hi Louise,

I think it can get easier and certainly more manageable but you have to work at it to get results.

I was bullied at school so I can understand why you're worried about your son but being realistic, you can't be with him 24/7 and so all you can really do is monitor the situation and trust that he would come to you if things got really bad. Schools can be very cliquey (sp?) and so like Lucinda said, it may help for him to get involved in some activity where he would meet friends outside the school environment.

My anxiety makes me see things as being bigger problems than they really are, it may be that you're worrying about your son's situation but in reality it may not be as bad as you're imagining it to be. You're being a good mum so that's all you can really do for now.

I hope you feel better soon.

Sylver