Alone in a foreign city for the first time...

[anilEhilated]

Hello,
I'm suffering from near-constant anxiety and fear ever since I changed location - I'm currently living and working in a foreign city in a different country, and it's the first time I'm living on my own. I think the problem is that I don't feel secure, safe anywhere, including the room I'm renting.

A bit of background - I didn's suffer from panic attacks until about seven years ago when I had to undergo heart surgery. It was complicated, no one told me how serious it was until it was almost too late and it left me with complete distrust in my body, feeling... I don't know, violated, open, vulnerable. Before that, I hadn't even considered it.

I've been through therapy and psychiatric help since then, and I also take antidepressant for other problems; it helped to an extent, from constant panic attacks and being afraid to leave home alone to being able to operate within my city and even make short-term trips, however never alone. Now I'm here with work having stuck me at the deep end and I just don't know what to do - nowhere is secure, I'm always anxious, always afraid of something. I've been living with my parents before this so I guess I drew some security from that too, but living alone and abroad is just a double whammy.

Anyone got some experience with this, some tips on what to do?

[SLA]

Start building up a network of places and people you can trust, and feel comfortable/secure with.

Just take each day as it comes, and try and find moments of peace and happiness in those places. Don't let it overwhelm you, and keep things simple.

It's the same for a lot of people, so don't feel bad for feeling like this. It's perfectly normal.

These things take time, you just have to work at it.

[Beckybecks]

Hi. It's always hard to move to a foreign country but when you suffer from anxiety it's doubly difficult. I know because I did it for two years and I had my husband with me. Goodness knows what I would've done if I'd been alone!

If you have a job that's a big plus as you're with other people (I assume, although I don't know what your job is) and you can meet people and make some friends.

When we're anxious we're super sensitive to any change but as your surroundings start to become familiar you'll feel better.

A good tip that I used: get a routine going in your life. Even after one week it'll feel more familiar and you'll feel more secure.

Do you know any people in the country you've moved to, that come from your home country? Maybe you can find a club where they meet.

I joined a church and made some friends that way and I looked on-line for South African get- togethers and tried to meet up with them for events. It's always nice to meet with people of your own nationality and share ideas on how to settle in your new country.

[anilEhilated]

Thank you for kind words, I haven't actually started at the job yet so hopefully that will give me something to organize my life around. Hopefully it will calm down in time as I get used to it, right now my problem is that I don't even feel safe in my living quarters (or even my body) so I don't even know where to start setting up such a network. I suppose it takes time as well... So what I'm gathering is to get a routine and stick to it as something certain in my life, be there for the routine.
So I guess the word here is to endure, in enduring grow strong.

[SLA]

So I guess the word here is to endure, in enduring grow strong.

Beautiful!

One other thing I used to do when far from home is to listen to the radio stations from "back home" on the internet.

Just a way of connecting with home, and not feeling like you are so far away.

[Super_Freaked]

i started having panic attack when in SE asia on my own, I ended up ok here is what i leafed

1. If your having a problem in public and people get suspicious or anything, tell them immediately that you are having a panic attack symptom, talk slow to them and stay calm ( some people might think your on drugs or acting suspicious, this can be dangerous

2. Get a prescription for a benso class med for emerg situations, carry the meds with prescription with you.

3. take a sleeping pill if you need to catch up on sleep to reset

4. meet nice people and stay away from negative idiots as your going to feel extra ssensitive. if your lucky you will meet someone that knows all about these and might tell help you calm down.

5. HAVE FUN ! don't worry they will pass and you learn to just take them and carry on, once you get a grip on them attack you can just sit there and let the feelings do there thing and carry on. it's unpleasant but it' ok.

6. REALLY HAVE FUN when your not having attack remind yourself how good you feel and remember that moment when you have an attack.

7. look for some yoga, meditation, massage .. relaxing things with healing people. It's usually a good place to tell someone your kind of anxiety struck and you want to work at that you might even find someone with the same problem there and it will be quite relaxing !

Remember your actually quite brave being alone on the other side of the world as someone that suffers these attacks, lots of "normal" people wouldn't be able to do it so your already getting better just being there !

[Cherryade]

Take a tourist trip round the city you are in so you can get a feel of the place.
Pick up as many tourist leaflets as you can so you get to know where you are, what the transport around is like etc. .
Presumably your job has selected your accommodation so you can be sure that it is in a safe area.
If you are in a hotel, use the deadbolt on your room door.
If in a room in a boarding house situation which doesn't have one, get one of those gadgets to use on the door which acts as a security chain type thing.
Find the nearest cafe to your accommodation and pop in regularly for coffee. They will soon get to know you and you will have a friendly face.

The trick is to get yourself as familiar with your new city as possible and you can't do that sitting in your room. Get out and about as much as possible.
Good luck and enjoy your adventures.

[randomforeigner]

Which country and town is it? I bet you'll find someone on this forum in that country, and you can shoot them a pm over this site should you need to reach out to someone. :)