Depressed

[Baron]

I am 16 years old and i think i suffer from depression. I experience all the symptoms but i have felt this way for some time already. None of my friends or family knows because i try to fake it by putting a fake smile but i cant handle it anymore.
Most of the time i am just playing video games and that is probably the only time i can get my mind of things. If i remember past events/nostalgic moments i feel really depressed and dead inside.
If i try to think about stuff from past and my life i just want to go to bed and sleep.
Greades in school have lately been really bad and i dont feel like talking with people so much anymore.

If anyone has an idea how i can get rid of these feelings let me know.

[mezzaninedoor]

I dont know how the USA health systems work but Im hoping you have perhaps the equivalent of a School counsellor or School nurse that you could contact in confidence so that you can start to talk about your problems.

Obviously I dont know your family but I was so glad when my youngest son spoke to me about his depression when he was 16, it meant I was able without judgement to get something to happen to help him. I was able to access a specialist youth counsellor for him, it was pricey but after 4 sessions he was definitely improved in his demeanour and that was without too much recourse to the medical model.

I do wish you well and I hope that you can access some support as you need it, you are not alone and many will have been through this before and came out the other side

[Baron]

I will try to talk with my mom when she gets back home.

[mezzaninedoor]

I hope you can sort things out for yourself and you get the support you need.

[SLA]

What things from the past bother you?

[Baron]

Mostly how i interacted with people as a spastic kid..

[Baron]

Also mom just told me how its no wonder i am feeling down, i need to go out more and shit like that. Going out and talking with people is not going to help me in any way.

[randomforeigner]

She's doing the best she can with what she has, being just an ordinary mum doesn't mean you have all the answers. Is there someone at your school you could talk to perhaps? Do you want your grades to slip and get bad, is there anything you could change in order to make thwart that trajectory you're on? Analyse the situation yourself, you're smart and perhaps your subconscious already knows the right answer, like it could be realising the best is a decision of putting your mind to concentrating on school work. It might not be the most comfortable answer in the short run, slacking and eating crisps drinking soft drinks is always more comfortable in the short run I guess.

[mezzaninedoor]

Baron,
Are there no school counsellors or anyone you can access at school.
I'm glad you have spoken to your Mum, its a shame she was a little blunt in her response but Im sure she cares for you.

[Baron]

No way im going to speak with counsellor, even writting this online is something i usually wouldnt do. I will just research abit online and see what can help me.