Hi there, I'm new to the forum and have posted in the introduction section. One of the things I struggle most with is when I have an event /occasion /outing coming up my brain goes into overdrive. My thoughts become really intrusive - nobody likes you, you're going to make a fool of yourself, nobody wants you there - and I start having symptoms which lead to me believing I have some disease - usually cancer. I'm due to graduate next week and I've spent the last week in a fog of anxiety convinced I have cervical cancer. My family and friends are tired of reassuring me and tend to avoid me when I'm really struggling. I just wondered if anyone else ruins things for themselves in the same way?
Hi Owlseeker, welcome to the forum!
You are not alone. I've been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, worried that the t-shirt might cause a rash, and worried that the rash was skin cancer.
The good news is, it's all an illiusion created by your anxious and stressed brain. These thoughts that you have? They are not yours.
I ended up writing about this so much, to so many people, that I wrote an article of my experience.
I'll paste it here.
Have you ever had a thought that came out of nowhere? Of course you have.
Did one of those thoughts seem overtly negative? Maybe it went directly against your morale code and core values?
“Punch that old lady in the face.” (or something similar, I never actually had this one!)
If you did, you had an intrusive thought. Some people brush them off, and do not give them the time of day. For some people, they can trigger panic attacks, anxiety, and mental anguish. The good news is you are not alone, and they can be dealt with.
My Experience
My first experience of having one of these thoughts came in late teens, at a train station. It was a cold and dark November evening. At the platform edge I waited for the train to arrive so I could get home after a busy day at University. As it approached the station and got closer, a wave of terror came over me almost as instantly as the thought entered my head.
“What if I jumped off the platform?”
Adrenaline surged into all my vital organs, and my heart pounded. This was full blown panic. The bodies reaction to a distressing thought.
Nothing had fueled that thought. I hadn’t felt remotely depressed, and was in fact, feeling upbeat despite being tired. As the pounding heart subsided, I reflected on it more. “What was that?”
It was a distressing thought, no doubt about that. What if I did just jump, without any reason or thought? People would have assumed I wanted to do it! These are all natural reactions to intrusive thoughts. They are labelled intrusive by the very nature of them being unwanted, or not welcome.
Despite being the most advanced and intelligent lifeforms on the planet, our brains do not always serve us in a positive way. Psychologists have an atlas of a plethora of mental dysfunctions in the form of a book called the DSM-5. (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) Take even the briefest glance at this 947 page monster, and you will be astounded at the number of ways the brain can backfire. The DSM-5 classifies intrusive thoughts as an OCD type of disorder, however I think this might be wrong. Not beaing an expert in psychology or OCD, I will refrain from getting too deep into my reasoning. All I will say is that I have managed different types of anxiety for many years, and intrusive thoughts, for me, are very closely related to health anxiety.
In 2008, negative/intrusive thoughts similar to those above sent me into a downward cycle of anxiety and depression. At a time when I was already tired, stressed, and anxious, these thoughts where like those voluminous dark clouds that completely black out the sky. Whole weeks were lost worrying, and stressing about them.
Why am I having them?
Am I a bad person?
Am I going crazy?
One evening, whilst reading online, it was very reassuring to realise that I was not alone in going through this experience. That in itself was a small relief, but it didn’t solve the problem, or give me any reassurance that I was normal. I just realised that I wasn’t alone. To overcome these problems, I needed to know more.
The next breakthrough came whilst reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. One small quote changed my view on life and anxiety forever.
“You are not your thoughts.”
Those things you think about yourself… that scared little self-deprecating voice in your head? That isn’t you, so stop identifying with it.
If you think you are in control of your thoughts, then try this experiment. For 5 minutes, tell yourself (actually say it out loud) that you are going to stop thinking completely. You couldn’t block out thoughts, even if you wanted to. You are not in control of all of your thoughts, and the spontaneous thoughts you have are not chosen by you. So stop identifying with them!
Pink Elephants
When I realised that the thoughts I were having were manifestations of my over-tired brain, I began to identify with them less, and they had less impact on my life. This point is hugely important. You cannot try and resist or block out these thoughts. The more you try and fight them, the more your brain looks for them.
There is a popular psychological test where you are asked “Whatever you do, do not think of a Pink Elephant!” This test is famous because it is impossible, once suggested, to not think of a Pink Elephant! In order for your brain to not think of one, it must first remind itself of what one is, and in doing so it has to think of one. The more you consiously try to not think of one, the more you actually think of one!
The same is true of intrusive thoughts. The more you try not to have them, the more you will have them. So give up the fight, and you will win.
With all of that said, here is my three step process to beating intrusive thoughts.
1 – Label
Whenever I have an intrusive thought, I give it a name. They are called my “Pink Elephants” because of the example given above. Once you spot them, and label them as harmless, they lose all power and you can move on to stage 2.
2 – Accept
When they occur, accept them. They happen, and there is nothing you can do about them. When you start trying to resist them, it adds fuel to the fire. So label them, accept them and then…
3 – Move On
Carry on with whatever you were doing before hand. It might take you many attempts in the early days, if you are still new to having them. But persist with this strategy, and eventually they will go completely.
I hope this article has been helpful to you. Please comment if it has, or drop me an email, I’d love to hear from you.
Thank you for that, it's good to know I'm not alone
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