Near explosion

[elik]

My stress levels! I need to change my ways or I'm going to crash and burn ! I'm so angry with myself, I set myself up to be a giver so much that people expect it and the anxiety that comes with the thought of having to put my foot down for a negative response is petrifying me. I've lost so much social confidence this year partly because my best friend has left me that I've tried extra hard for everyone else because I wanted to explore relationships and all I've found is no ones interested in me unless I do the leg work and because I become loyal to people regardless of how I'm treated and love and see the best in everyone I keep up appearances and continue doing the same thing over and over. I'm so miserable. Now I'm frightened that when my best friend comes back who is someone that truly truly cares for me (not to say that the others don't, but someone who will be there thick and thin) it's also not anyone's fault for being as close to me ( I don't let them in) I feel that I just want to be with her as she uplifts me becaus
I can be myself and I may get a new job. I've lost money this year travelling etc to meet people's needs and my personal quality of life is
So poor to save everyone else I'm so angry at myself it's unbelievable! My outlook on life is so poor. Everything queues stress and doom. I can't enjoy anything because I need to know I'm on the ball, not letting anyone down, being consistent etc but I'm withering away