View Full Version : Can't stop thinking about pain
Hi all,
my trouble started about a month ago. All of a sudden I had developed this burning sensation/pain in my left upper arm/left breast. I've head it on and off for months but before I had always been able to forget it as it used to disappear. This time however it lingered and it was so persistent that I could hardly think about anything else and then came all the long discussions with Dr. Google.
In the end I stressed myself out so much that I went to see a gynecologist about the breast pain and she did a physical exam and found no problem, but still sent me for an ultrasound just to be sure which didn't show anything on my painful side. Also the breast pain disappeared around the time of my period and didn't come back until recently (around 10 days prior to my next period).
The Dr who did the ultrasound also told me that the kind of pain I was describing is usually a result of a bad body posture.
However in the middle of that I also developed a mild cold/dry cough went to see Dr about it, it was just a viral infection and for a day or so everything was okay. But then the next day I started to feel this pressure on my sternum, the only thing that relieved it was pressing two of my fingers against it. Gradually it got better but it changed into pain (sometimes a dull ache, sometimes stabbing) on a point on my sternum that also radiated into back and neck some days /but not every day/. About the first week I couldn't sleep on my sides and I would have to spend most of my days with my fingers pressed against my sternum.
It improved somewhat but I still have it almost every day. It usually happens around 3 o'clock in the afternoon and sometimes it seems to happen when I'm in a very specific position /not always/. I thought it might be costochondritis but when I press on my sternum the pain doesn't start like it is supposed to with costco. I finally went to see Dr. and her first suspicion was Tietzes's (something similar as costco but swelling is present), but she didn't think it was it after examination. So then I had an EKG and all the possible blood tests, which were all okay. Given that movements seem to start this pain/make it worse she now think it's caused by back issues.
I have a terrible body posture and spend most of my day at a laptop (often not even sitting at my desk but with the laptop in my lamp/on my stomach as I work from home a lot).
My pain problem over the last month has been that I have been unable to stop thinking about the pain/discomfort and spend most of my time google-ing symptoms and talking about it. I have a very obsessive personality, so I have no idea how to stop this. Part of me thinks that I have turned what would have been just a small discomfort into a major issue with this. Over the last few days I have tried to get my mind of it by doing activities which I enjoy, but even in the middle of reading a book or during a walk I find my mind wandering back to it.
Over the last few weeks Dr. Google has diagnosed me with: breast cancer/inflammatory breast cancer/breast cyst/MS/lupus/GERD/lymphoma/lymphedema/various forms of skin cancer.
And no matter what I do, I'm still not absolutely convinced that there isn't something majorly wrong with me and that Dr missed something because I am really terrible at identifying and describing pain (and always have been). Furthermore I feel like I have lost the ability to tell what it's actually to feel like you're 100% ok.
Any tips on how I could get my mind off al of this?
Thank you all
That's how all HA sufferers think. The doctor examines you, maybe sends you for a test or two, later reassures you that the results are negative and you walk out feeling so relieved that you don't have whichever terminal illness you are supposedly suffering with at the time. Then in the middle of all this happiness (which lasts usually for an hour or two, if you're lucky a day) the little voice inside your head says "but what if they missed something" or you suddenly think "oooh I forgot to tell the doctor this symptom when I was telling her all my symptoms, I'd better go back tomorrow and tell her".
HA is evil. You have had a breast ultrasound it is a very definitive test. Stop googling. It is driving you crazy.
Yeah, I have told myself that every time I feel like googleing symptoms I will just come here and read the Dr. Google thread instead.
The thing that has me so freaked about this is: I'm not sure whether I have health anxiety. I have had what could be called HA episodes before, but have been non freaked about health issues before - I have had terrible chronic neck pain as well as ear pain in prior years and I never went to see a doctor about either. Also during the ultrasound it was discovered that I had 3 small fibroadenomas in my other breast which need to be monitored yearly and it didn't freak me out the least bit.
But the pain in the other breast still kinda freaks me out, although I am trying very hard to convince myself that it is just cyclical. I am actually more worried about the chest pain/discomfort, because given the fact that I was unable to describe it correctly my GP wasn't exactly sure about a diagnosis. The decision that it comes from back pain came when I told her that the pain is connected to movement. And it's true that just on Monday I started a chest pain attack by a particular Pilates exercise (but when I repeat it now it doesn't re-occur) and that I started having the pain as well as back pain after walking for one hour both on Friday and yesterday. But sometimes I feel like I can also feel it when I'm not moving at all.
I know that I'm on a HA forum and hope you don't mind that I'm here although I'm not sure if this is HA, but I feel like it's better to come here than go to google/health forums and make the worry even worse.
Is it possible that you have the pain but you focus on it to the point that it becomes intense?
You know I have been away from here for more than a year. I have been well. For some reason a couple of weeks ago I came back here. I wondered why. The next day I felt a "heaviness' over my left eye, in my eyebrow area. I couldn't even describe it to anyone "it feels heavy" was how I described it. It lasted for 3 days and I suspected it was my imagination. It's gone but I'm back. I'm still not sure why.
I'm sure that everyone here would agree with me that you are welcome. This place can be a real comfort and it can feed your HA is very bad way. Be careful what you read. Ignore all breast related threads. lol
It's entirely possible, the thing is that I can't tell anymore. Although for the most part with the exception of the first few days, the chest pain is pretty mild, more annoying than painful.
Glad to hear that you have been felling better and I hope you don't trigger anything more on here.
Haha, actually, I had a good look over several breast threads this morning and they were a comfort to me as they mostly concluded that it was just cyclical/hormonal thing. My favourite was the one where someone mentioned that the pain would disappear after they had 2 glasses of wine and when they woke up the next morning it was back, but since the wine stopped it, they knew that it was caused by anxiety and not a physical issue.
lol
Trust the breast ultrasound. My gyno told me that it is a very definitive test.
I have to go to bed. It's late in Sydney Australia. Next time. :)
Damn it, I was almost doing fine yesterday and even did some light Pilates/yoga without any pain.
Then I went for a walk and had a "chest pain" attack, afterwards the chest pain at the sternum lingered (didn't help that I kept prodding at it) and when I woke up this morning I was having stabbing pains on my ribs near my left arm pit.
It has gotten better but in the last hour I feel like I'm thinking like I have trouble breathing, it's not hyperventilation/shortness of breath exactly, it's more like I can't really get a proper breath and I feel tension at the right side of my neck, close to the jaw, sort of as if I had a strained muscle there or as if the muscle was constricting.
I'm not sure if I'm just focusing on my pain too much or whether this is an actual symptom. Over the past few weeks I have been having this unintended breath thing - while I'm breathing but then in the middle of that my body takes a breath of its own by itself, it's kind of like an inwards sigh/it sounds like sighing. Just this morning I was half asleep on the train when it happened.
My GP told me breast pain doesn't indicate breast cancer (the rare one being the exception but you'd have other symptoms with the pain). I get a sharp pain in my left breast. It's horrible but I just ignore it now. I don't believe it's related to my cycle, but trust it's nothing suspicious as my GP wouldn't have just left me at that if it wasn't normal.
Yeah, I think I'm beyond the breast cancer fear for the moment given that they gave me the all clear after ultrasound. I was worried only for a bit yesterday when the pain started again but only until I realized that it was about a week before my period and the fear disappeared short after and the pain went with it.
I am more concerned about the chest pain/breathing thing right now, fearing that those are symptoms of some sinister illness that can cause all that which my GP missed because I was unable to give her a clear description of my symptoms.
Hi again.
What you describe is what has been described here before by many, many people. I've had the exact same breathing problems whenever my anxiety has been high. You actually did a very good job of putting the sensations into words. I know this: health anxiety makes us focus on certain pains/sensations to the point that it becomes all consuming. That headache, which is an ordinary headache like we've had a million times before, suddenly becomes the worst headache you have ever had in your life. So bad in fact that it couldn't possibly just be an ordinary headache. Nothing that hurts that much and lasts for that long is ordinary. Therefore, it must be a brain tumour. Now that we have diagnosed ourselves with a brain tumour the pain becomes even worse and we think "if it would just go away for a little while I would know it isn't a brain tumour". It doesn't go away and that is more proof it must a brain tumour. Of course the real problem is that we have worked ourselves up into such a state that our muscles are as tight as guitar strings. And that's why the pain stays. The pain won't go away until we relax our muscles.
The explanation for your breathing problem is that you have now become aware of your breathing and you are focusing on it. You need to find a way to distract yourself so that you are not focusing on your breathing. Then it will return to normal. Of course if you start focusing on some other problem (have you had MS yet? lol) your breathing problem will disappear because you'll be more concerned with your muscle twitching. :huh:
I hope you don't think I am making fun of you because I'm not. The above is meant to show you that I relate to what you are feeling because I have been there too. As have many here. :)
Hi again.
What you describe is what has been described here before by many, many people. I've had the exact same breathing problems whenever my anxiety has been high. You actually did a very good job of putting the sensations into words. I know this: health anxiety makes us focus on certain pains/sensations to the point that it becomes all consuming. That headache, which is an ordinary headache like we've had a million times before, suddenly becomes the worst headache you have ever had in your life. So bad in fact that it couldn't possibly just be an ordinary headache. Nothing that hurts that much and lasts for that long is ordinary. Therefore, it must be a brain tumour. Now that we have diagnosed ourselves with a brain tumour the pain becomes even worse and we think "if it would just go away for a little while I would know it isn't a brain tumour". It doesn't go away and that is more proof it must a brain tumour. Of course the real problem is that we have worked ourselves up into such a state that our muscles are as tight as guitar strings. And that's why the pain stays. The pain won't go away until we relax our muscles.
The explanation for your breathing problem is that you have now become aware of your breathing and you are focusing on it. You need to find a way to distract yourself so that you are not focusing on your breathing. Then it will return to normal. Of course if you start focusing on some other problem (have you had MS yet? lol) your breathing problem will disappear because you'll be more concerned with your muscle twitching. :huh:
I hope you don't think I am making fun of you because I'm not. The above is meant to show you that I relate to what you are feeling because I have been there too. As have many here. :)
Haha, no, actually your post kinda made me smile.
Guilty as charged when it comes to the MS thing. But that thing I've been able to rationalize - that tremor I had in my left hand? It's always been there. Those jerks? Hypnic jerks have been my friends for years. The blurry vision? I'm already short-sighted and starring at monitors through often dirty glasses every day. Also, if I had MS surely not only my upper body from the ribs up would be affected. The only ache I had in my lower body over the past month, was my left knee. But I know exactly where that came from as I bumped it really hard about 2 months back (it hurt for about a month after) and I rebumped it just last week. It's easier not to worry about pain when you can identify the exact cause.
But it's much harder with the chest pains that have been plaguing me for nearly a month, especially since it's a dull persisting ache/discomfort with the occassional stabbing (the worst bouts caused by moving). Especially when the stabbing starts, it's hard to convince myself that it's just costochondritis* or something similar caused by bad body posture/stress.
*Ok, I haven't been diagnosed with it, but at least some of my pain fits the description.
Are you seeing a counsellor? It seems that you are not reassured by the ecg. I'll pass on the wisdom of the neurologist who used to visit here. An ecg is another definitive test. The doctor looking at the ecg is looking for certain abnormalities. If those abnormalities show up then the doctor will order further tests. So you can be reassured by the ecg. I wish I could remember what else he said on the topic but I can't. He talked about something called Da Costa's syndrome. Its origins had something to do with soldiers and how they would be standing in the same position for a long time. Consequently, this would bring on the sort of chest pain which one would experience with heart problems. However, it was more muscular than anything else. Look it up and see if you think it might explain your pain. You did say you were hunched over your computer a lot. If you think it is a possibility then mention it to your doctor.
Are you seeing a counsellor? It seems that you are not reassured by the ecg. I'll pass on the wisdom of the neurologist who used to visit here. An ecg is another definitive test. The doctor looking at the ecg is looking for certain abnormalities. If those abnormalities show up then the doctor will order further tests. So you can be reassured by the ecg. I wish I could remember what else he said on the topic but I can't. He talked about something called Da Costa's syndrome. Its origins had something to do with soldiers and how they would be standing in the same position for a long time. Consequently, this would bring on the sort of chest pain which one would experience with heart problems. However, it was more muscular than anything else. Look it up and see if you think it might explain your pain. You did say you were hunched over your computer a lot. If you think it is a possibility then mention it to your doctor.
No, I'm not seeing a counsellor. As I mentioned I've only started experiencing the anxiety over the last few weeks.
I am reassured by the ECG and the blood tests most of the day, it's just a bit harder to believe in the very moment the stabbing pain starts. But when it passes, I am back to being convinced that the pain is muscoskeletal. Given the ECG and blood tests combined with my age/weight/health history the chance that I actually have a heart problem is extremely minimal just like the chance that I have breast cancer with the clinical exams and ultrasound.
I think I'm starting to get better. Above everything I have stopped seeing Dr. Google (Ok, bit of a lie but I only googled for stories of people with costochondritis and what kind of remedies they used, I mean I haven't been diagnosed with it but given that my GP thinks that the pain comes from my back and that I have some similar symptoms some of their advice like which stretching exercises or sleeping on your back could help me).
I also started getting back into my hobbies and slowly I have come from not being able to think about anything but pain/the possible deathly causes behind through letting it slip my mind for longer period of times/forgetting it. Also when I think about it now, it's more thoughts about the things I can do to improve like improving my body posture, sleeping on my back or some light Pilates.
The positive thinking has worked some magic and albeit today was not pain free, I had one of the least pain filled days of this month.
I am also having physical therapy next week, so hopefully that will help.
Also I have to start to do something about the breast pain. Even if it's just PMS/bad body posture (apparently costochondritis can also cause breast pain if the stories of some sufferers are to be believed), I seem to get an almost constant ache in my left breast 10-14 days prior to my period which sucks even if the cause is brnign. So I have bought Primrose Evening Oil and hope it can help somehow. Next thing on the list is buying a sports bra cause I realised today that all my bras fit all kinds of wrong on one of the tender spots. Also chest pain seems to be worse after a day with bra vs. without bra. Hope that all of that works because I am kinda sick of having some pain/ache all the time and it's what jump started the anxiety in the first place.
Sorry about the long post/the details, just needed to voice all of that somewhere.
Health Anxiety is insidious. Just when you think you have it beat another morbid thought pops into your head. However, that doesn't have to be your story and I hope it isn't. You sound like you are able to analyse your own negative thought patterns. That's a positive because most HA sufferers find it extremely challenging to think logically about their health fears. Can I just suggest that if something else pops up you give some thought to seeking support from someone? It can just become a runaway train. Trust me, I am usually a very logical thinker but when my HA is severe my ability to think logically diminishes. I am well at the moment and have been for nearly a year. There was the eye thing a couple of weeks ago......
lol
Thanks for your kind words. I think what doesn't help my anxiety is when I was a kid and we were watching the news on TV they showed a single mother with three children who all had celiac disease. I remember thinking that I really wouldn't want that. Fast forward a few years to when I was 17 which is a time when your GP does more extensive blood work than other years. What did it turn out that I had after those tests? Right, celiac disease. Which isn't anything serious and is more of an inconvenience than anything else but you can imagine where it makes my thoughts go whenever I stumble upon a medical condition that I really wouldn't like to have...
I think the next step is that I need to get off here. You were right when you mentioned that this place can help but it can also be a curse in disguise or something similar. I think I was a much happier person when I wasn't aware that those soft movable things under the skin on on each side of my groin which have been noticeable most of the time and especially around my period were actually lymph nodes. Let's not even speak about those hard-ish things on each side of my neck which might be bones/muscles/nodes/glands slightly above my Adam's apple on each side. Those have always been there and belong there, right? I think so, but the anxiety isn't so sure of course...
They have always been there so stop worrying about them.
You have to be careful what you read. I will sometimes click on a thread and after reading a sentence or two think to myself that I don't like where it is going so I click right out of it again. You have to be disciplined.
If you feel that reading here is triggering your anxiety then I agree that the best thing you can do is stay away. Or just visit and post on threads that you feel comfortable reading. Many people here are friendly. :)
---------- Post added at 21:30 ---------- Previous post was at 21:25 ----------
It says that there are 1020 people viewing the HA forum. I wonder if there are really that many people viewing it right now? What are they all doing?
They have always been there so stop worrying about them.
You have to be careful what you read. I will sometimes click on a thread and after reading a sentence or two think to myself that I don't like where it is going so I click right out of it again. You have to be disciplined.
If you feel that reading here is triggering your anxiety then I agree that the best thing you can do is stay away. Or just visit and post on threads that you feel comfortable reading. Many people here are friendly. :)
---------- Post added at 21:30 ---------- Previous post was at 21:25 ----------
It says that there are 1020 people viewing the HA forum. I wonder if there are really that many people viewing it right now? What are they all doing?
I definitely didn't mean to suggest that the people on here weren't nice or anything. It's more about my mind playing with me and analyzing too much when I see something that might be bothering me.
Your approach with stopping once you know it might be dangerous to continue reading sound really good.
Hmm, overanalyzing their every breath/every little ache/every little spasm/every little irregularity on their bodies would be my best guess. :D
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.