Anxiety and Negative Coping Mechanisms

[Frances123]

Not to go into too much detail, but I developed a lot of nervous habits as a kid when my dad, and then my mom, left. I started binge eating and hiding food, chewing my nails, spending as much time as I could with books, etc.

35 years later, I still struggle with the same coping mechanisms I developed to make me feel better back then. I've only recently been able to admit to myself that I have "anxiety." I always come up with a different excuse. "I don't like to travel and that's why I get sick." "I don't want to go to all those social gatherings over the holidays and that's why I feel sick." "I'm just having weird cravings and that's why I'm eating like crazy." I have to admit that my coping mechanisms (mainly the binge eating disorder) is incredibly destructive, but I don't know how to stop.

If you've been anxious and self-soothing a certain way for 35 years, can you actually stop? How do you train yourself to do so? Can you do it alone? I have health insurance, but it doesn't cover mental health. I'd have to pay close to $500 per month extra for a therapist and that would be a budget-breaker.

Just curious what habits other people have developed to deal with anxiety and if they've been able to break them. And once those self-soothing habits are gone...what do you do with your anxious feelings?

Thanks!

[randomforeigner]

I think you can do it alone or, rather, with some support but it doesn't necessarily have to be through a, um, mental health specialist. Can you tell a bit more about what happens around those binge-eating sessions (which seems to the most detrimental at the moment). Personally, I'm a big fan of Michael Mosley and his 5:2 Fast Diet, it's been made popular through a series of programs on the telly. I had a colleague successfully pull it off last year (pull weight off, that is) so am aiming at doing a repeat of this, actually. I also like books, spent a lot of time in the school libraries as it were, and other libraries too. I like books, but not to the point of a guy I saw on "Dr. Phil" who stacked them up everywhere in his house even on his bedside (to the detriment of his wife).

[KeeKee]

Frances123 I think I too have binge eating disorder and I hate it. The other morning alone I had a bacon and egg sandwich, 4 donuts and a slice of cherry madeira. I absolutely despise it but feel like because I'm a 'normal' weight (58-60kg, depending on where I get weighed) people don't think it's a big deal. It is to me though as it's all crap. I do eat fruit and veg but I also crave junk, especially when I'm really low like now or on an evening.

So I don't have any advice but wanted to say you're not alone. It's dreadful and many people think it's just an excuse to eat crap but it really isn't. It's a massive urge that is almost impossible to overcome.

Randomforeigner, the 5:2 diet would be impossible for me. Aren't you supposed to only have 600 calories on a fast day or something? I've worked it out and I eat 2000-3000 calories each day. There is no way I could get down to 600 even if I didn't get urges to binge.

[Frances123]

KeeKee, I have read that it's dangerous to fast if you have a binge eating disorder, since the deprivation sets you up for a binge. Having said that, I *do* fast, but a different method. I don't eat from 7 p.m. at night until noon the next day. I only do it because I'm not a breakfast person and it fits my lifestyle. About the disorder, you probably know if you've got it! I've had episodes of eating until I had a stomachache, the earliest around age 8. I've gained and lost 100 pounds at least 3 times in my life. I have never, ever been able to maintain any given weight. I'm ALWAYS going up or down. I've been reading and studying the past few days and have decided to go ahead and go into therapy for it. I think I have anxiety issues that trigger me to self-soothe with food. When I "diet," I'm not actually dealing with the underlying anxiety, which causes me to fail. I guess it will be worth the $$ if I can find another way to cope with it!

[randomforeigner]

I've worked it out and I eat 2000-3000 calories each day.
Anything below 2000 is good for you. Everything above means you're piling up weight, it's simple math. I agree 600 calories feels a bit on the low side. Still, I'm a big fan of Dr Mosley's ideas, it seems the only thing I can follow, because ordinary diets (like Weight Watchers) where you slice off a little at every meal, I don't like those. What I find good about the Fast Diet is that you don't actually ... fast.

[KeeKee]

Anything below 2000 is good for you. Everything above means you're piling up weight, it's simple math. I agree 600 calories feels a bit on the low side. Still, I'm a big fan of Dr Mosley's ideas, it seems the only thing I can follow, because ordinary diets (like Weight Watchers) where you slice off a little at every meal, I don't like those. What I find good about the Fast Diet is that you don't actually ... fast.

We don't all gain weight in the same way. If we did, I'd be very overweight by now. I don't gain weight even though I eat a lot of calories. I've always been this way (except when on antidepressants) as have half of my family.

I'm not saying the 5:2 diet isn't affective, I've read very good things about it, but when you binge you take in more than 600 calories alone without that days main meals. It would be almost impossible for me to have that low amount of calories.

Frances123 I eat until around 9 and like you I don't have breakfast. Do you find the food you eat during a binge tastes pretty bland? I will buy my food for the night and then whilst I'm eating it I find it never tastes as nice as I imagine it would.

[Frances123]

In the beginning it tastes incredible, because it's the kind of food I've been denying myself. But as I get more and more full, the taste kind of loses its appeal!