quantumleap
27-11-16, 00:28
My sister Carla has severe depression, cries a lot, on heavy antidepressants etc. She is clearly struggling a lot. She rents with her boyfriend out of town, I live alone in the city.
In the last few weeks Carla has repeatedly told me she wants to kill herself, how no-one loves her, how everyone would be better off without her. Every single time I reassure her that I love her, her family loves her, that we will stand with her.
When it comes to me trying to help, saying I can take her to see the doctor, suggesting she speaks to her counsellor etc. she refuses. When she told me a few days ago that she knows how she's going to do it, I said I wanted to take her to the ER (she lives an hour's drive away, but I said I'd come anyway), she refused again, and about an hour later said she was fine now and said goodnight.
Since then I have seen my doctor, who happens to be a previous doctor of her. I told the Dr how worried I was about Carla etc, and broke down crying. The doctor told me, after saying she didn't realise we were related, that my sister was struggling with severe depression and is certainly "troubled".
The doctor said she couldn't go into specifics due to confidentiality but what my sister is doing to me is a type of emotional manipulation, and that it's a cry out for sympathy, and wants everyone to run to her saying "it's going to be ok" etc. The doctor said my sister can't have it both ways by crying out and then refusing help. The doctor has "given me permission" to be more firm with my sister, and that I need to look after my own health (I'm a long time anxiety sufferer).
I am 100% sure that Carla is not aware of the manipulation she's claimed to be doing.
It has got to the point that any time a message comes through from Carla, every day at least, that I have an anxiety attack, because I know it's going to lead to her saying she wants to die, or no one can do anything to help.
How can I be more firm, without increasing the risk of her killing herself?
In the last few weeks Carla has repeatedly told me she wants to kill herself, how no-one loves her, how everyone would be better off without her. Every single time I reassure her that I love her, her family loves her, that we will stand with her.
When it comes to me trying to help, saying I can take her to see the doctor, suggesting she speaks to her counsellor etc. she refuses. When she told me a few days ago that she knows how she's going to do it, I said I wanted to take her to the ER (she lives an hour's drive away, but I said I'd come anyway), she refused again, and about an hour later said she was fine now and said goodnight.
Since then I have seen my doctor, who happens to be a previous doctor of her. I told the Dr how worried I was about Carla etc, and broke down crying. The doctor told me, after saying she didn't realise we were related, that my sister was struggling with severe depression and is certainly "troubled".
The doctor said she couldn't go into specifics due to confidentiality but what my sister is doing to me is a type of emotional manipulation, and that it's a cry out for sympathy, and wants everyone to run to her saying "it's going to be ok" etc. The doctor said my sister can't have it both ways by crying out and then refusing help. The doctor has "given me permission" to be more firm with my sister, and that I need to look after my own health (I'm a long time anxiety sufferer).
I am 100% sure that Carla is not aware of the manipulation she's claimed to be doing.
It has got to the point that any time a message comes through from Carla, every day at least, that I have an anxiety attack, because I know it's going to lead to her saying she wants to die, or no one can do anything to help.
How can I be more firm, without increasing the risk of her killing herself?