View Full Version : Electroconvulsive Therapy - My Story
They don't really have a Forumn heading for this, so I have decided to stick it under medication.
As some of you may know, I have suffered with extreme anxiety since July. The psychiatrist has called it 'anxious depression'. I have tried a whole lot of medication and CBT and nothing has worked. I guess I'm what they call treatment resistant. I have been hospitalised for the last 2.5 weeks, where we have tried various medications and at this point, I have gone backwards rather than forwards.
The psych suggested that she thinks I would benefit from ECT and after researching it, I have decided to proceed.
So in order to get ready for it, I was required to have an ECG, a full blood test and this afternoon I will be getting a ct scan.
Tomorrow I will have my first session. The psychiatrist has gone through all the risks and what I can expect. I will try and update on how it all goes. Obviously memory can be affected, especially short term, so hopefully I remember to update. I am going to write myself lots of little notes so I have reminders of things that have happened over the last few days.
Hi Tracy.
Good luck with your ect therapy. It will be interesting to follow your journey and might help others who are considering it. I truly hope it helps you. Thinking of you x
MyNameIsTerry
29-11-16, 08:24
Good luck with the treatment, Tracy. I understand this type of treatment is for more refractory cases and usually seen more in depression treatment but if they think it can help, it's got to be worth a try? There are celebrities that have had it and talked about the short term memory loss thing but they seemed to indicate they were fine afterwards. It will certainly be interesting to hear what happens.
It's really nice Karina is willing to visit you too. A bit of support for both of you there as you both are going through so much right now.
:hugs::flowers:
I am thinking of you sweetheart. It will go ok I know it I will.
I wish you the best. I have seen a good number of people see positive results with ECT that didn't respond to other treatments.
I had my first session this morning. I slept badly and woke up lots of times (even with extra medication to sleep). The came and got me about 6.15am. It was down this really dark little hall of the hospital and it made me want to run the other way. Once I was in the actual room part, it was like a doctors surgery with a waiting area. I signed some forms and then went and lay on the bed ready. My psych hadn't signed some part of the form, so they had to ring her. At this point, I was wondering if this was a sign that I shouldn't go ahead with it. After that was all sorted, I was wheeled into another room. They put little pads (like you have with an ECG) all over me. They put a Canula in and I think this had the muscle relaxant in it, plus they put in something to stop nausea and headaches. They put an oxygen mask over my face and told me to breath in and that I will fall asleep. That is the last thing I remember. I woke up, the asked me if I know where I am, which I did. I was a bit groggy and had felt like I had been there for the day. I asked what the time was and it was 7.30am. So it was less than and hour from when I got in there to when I woke up. I had something to eat and then went back to my room. I felt a little weak in my legs and since returning to my room, I have had a dull head ache and a small amount of muscles soreness. Like how you feel two days after the gym. I had a lay down for a few hours and am feeling okay now. I haven't noticed any memory loss, but I believe the more sessions you have is when you start to have some memory loss. It's hard to tell if there has been any change in my mood as yet. I definately still have anxiety. I guess all I can do is give it a go and see if it works. I'm not sure how many sessions I will need. Next session is Friday. They do three sessions a week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Glad to hear there are no ill effects :yesyes:
Hang in there :bighug1:
Hi Tracy. I am having a day off from the hospital today, I needed a break,it is draining on me and seeing my little girl so bloody sick has given me rotten anxiety,but have to keep myself active and reading positive thoughts.
I am sorry you are going through such a bad time, I do know much about ECT,but hope you benefit from it.
I have written down the hospital you are in and if all goes well with you, I could visit on Saturday.
You take care,and you Will be home with your family soon.
Love Karina.xx:hugs:
Karina! I am thinking and praying for you and your daughter. I hope she improves soon. Some times life just doesn't seem to be fair. I have my next session of ECT on Friday, so will let you know how I am feeling after that and if it works in with you, it would be great to see you on Saturday.
Please don't go out of your way for me though when your daughter is sick. lol after yourself Karina. I know it's hard when your child is sick and you are also. Try to get some rest when you can.
Thinking of you both xx
Glad to here it went well. Happy you didn't get any bad side effects,:hugs:
Day 2 - No ECT today. Feeling okay. Think my mood has lifted a little. The last few days I haven't really felt like doing anything or having any visitors. Today I have been to the cafe and am working on my CBT booklet, also my Dad is coming for a visit today. The only side effects I have from yesterday is a really sore neck. If I bend it right back, forward and from side to side, than it feels tender. That is pretty much it. Headache has gone. No memory problems at all yet. Next session tomorrow.
Have a nice visit with your dad.Glad your mood has lifted some.:hugs:
Glad it seems to be alright so far!
Day 3 - Session No 2. I have decided I'm not a fan. I had to fast from midnight and didn't go in until 10.30am. I was a nervous wreck by that time, because you can't take any medication because you go under a general anaesthetic. I think that is the worst part. Especially when you wake up disoriented and with high anxiety. I took my medication when I got back and the anxiety has lessened a little. I really want to get out of here, so am hopefull that after next Friday I can. On Monday of next week will be the 3 week mark. I admitted myself voluntarily, but need the doctor to sign off on me going home and to write up my medications, so it's not like you can just walk out when you think you're ready...which I know I am not right now. I always feel really crap straight after the ECT, but it seems to improve my mood. Fingers crossed that this works for my anxiety, even though I hate it, because I desperately want to get home a couple of weeks before Christmas.
Shazamataz
02-12-16, 05:46
I hope it works for you! I expect you will feel the effects of the anaesthetic as well so a few things to recover from. Lets hope for home soon xo
Bike Rider
02-12-16, 09:45
Just caught this one. I wish you all the best, I am sure something good will come of it.
Same here thought they had stopped this procedure years ago I wouldn't fancy electrodes on my head but hey if it works for you then great :) Good luck with being discharged too :) X
I hope you feel better:hugs: And I support any treatment you choose. I really wished I lived by you so I could visit.
Hope you're home soon Tracy :bighug1:
Day 4. No ECT today. Felt really off today, not sure if it was from the ECT yesterday, or just a bad day. High anxiety on waking. Because I was taking Valium and then Clonazepam which are both long acting, I have been changed to Oxazepam (Serax) as it is shorter acting. I can't have a long acting Benzo (anti convulsant) in my system. I'm wondering if the change is why my anxiety seems to be sky high at the moment. Even though I don't like it (the ECT), I'm going to give 6 sessions a go (so far I have done 2). If there isn't an improvement, by then, then we will have to look at other options. My guess is that I will be here for another two weeks.
Thanks everyone for your kind words and support. I feel I have to at least give this is shot. Fingers crossed it gives my brain a recharge that will help with response to anti depressants. My grandmother suffered with depression and was treated with ECT also and it was beneficial for her, so I'm hoping for a good outcome. The response rate is quite high for depression, up to 80%. It's not as scary as it sounds.
I am sorry your anxiety is so bad. I hope it gets better. I know how frustrating it can be.
I am actually thinking of trying again myself.
I will let you know at the end of the week Beth how it is going. It will be 5 treatments by then. It sucks straight after it, because you feel out of it for a few hours, but it seems to lift my mood. Hope you are doing okay xx
Day 5. ECT day today. What a shocker. Woke up with anxiety through the roof. They do checks every two hours, so I always seem to get woken up around 5. Couldn't take anything for the anxiety because you have to fast the morning of the ECT. By the time I got in there I was in tears. You get allocated a time. I was at 9.15am. 6.15am is the best time to do it...get in early and get it out of the way. The anxiety mixed with the general anaesthetic and the ECT itself leaves you feeling pretty scattered when you come out, but after a couple of hours you get your bearings again. I had a bit of a dull headache for most of the day. It does seem to lift my mood though. I can definately feel a change after I've had it. Unfortunately, it hasn't really impacted my anxiety too much as yet.
I really hope this helps you and thanks for the update.
Day 6. No ECT today. Still waking up with massive panic attacks in the morning. The oxazepam is the only thing that touches it and makes it a little better. I also started on the Nortriptyline today, 25mg morning and night. I think the psych wants to take me off the Mirtazapine and swap to this. Sick of being in hospital. That time of the month today, so am hoping that the morning anxiety starts to decrease a little now. I'm always worse a few days before they arrive.
Sorry about the panic attacks are so bad right now, maybe it will get better in a few days. I hope the switch to Nortriptyline helps also.
Day 6. No ECT today. Still waking up with massive panic attacks in the morning. The oxazepam is the only thing that touches it and makes it a little better. I also started on the Nortriptyline today, 25mg morning and night. I think the psych wants to take me off the Mirtazapine and swap to this. Sick of being in hospital. That time of the month today, so am hoping that the morning anxiety starts to decrease a little now. I'm always worse a few days before they arrive.
Hang in there Tracy
Thinking of you :bighug1:
Thanks Phil and Beth for thinking of me :bighug1:
Day 7. ECT session number 4 today. Still hating it. I always go off under the anaesthetic bawling my eyes out. I know it's stupid, but the feeling of waking up anxious and out of it is not fun. Today is the first time I think it has affected my memory. When I went to get my medications, I couldn't remember the name of them and a few times since then I have thought about something, but can't remember what it is called etc. I can still remember everything that happens in the day, but some things take me a while to think of them. I don't feel like there is an improvement, but the doctor says I don't look as anxious after the treatment. Number 5 or 6 is where they will start to see some improvement. So fingers crossed it works. In any case, I had to give it a shot or I would never have known if it would work. Sick of being in hospital and just want to go home, but know I will have to be patient.
Sorry honey, I hope you feel better.
I'm getting out of hospital on Thursday. I have been in for four weeks, so I am more than ready. I had to get transferred to another hospital last night. The medication the doctor prescribed made my blood pressure really low. I had to get a bag of fluid and then I was good to go. I didn't get much sleep last night and am knackered today. But only three more nights sleep and I can go home. Hopefully it has done its job and I am able to get back to some kind of normal when I get home.
I've got everything crossed for you Tracy :bighug1:
I so hope this works for you .
I came home from Hospital last night. I was in for exactly one month and one day. I went into work today, it is only half a day, so am just easing back into it. Finding that I am in no way fixed, but am in a better place than I was before I went into hospital. I'm on a lot more medication, which dampens down the anxiety, although it is still there. I am just going to take one day at a time or I will get overwhelmed.
Glad your feeling better. Hope everything works out.
Had an okay day today anxiety wise. I have started to feel depressed at different times through out the day, which is new. Seems like if it isn't anxiety upsetting me, now it's depression. I feel in a pickle also because the psych has prescribed 100mg Nortriptyline (at the moment I'm only on 75) but I am also taking Sertraline 100mg and when I liked it up there is a major interaction that can result in cardio toxicity. So I have the doctor saying to me 'you won't get better if you don't take the medication as prescribed'. So do I just trust her and take it. I am also worried about serotonin syndrome. I take 15mg of Mirtazapine as well, so am on 3 different anti depressants, and other pills as well. I am really worried about it, but feel like I have to increase the dosage of Nortriptyline in order to get better. Has anyone taken these two medications together? Thanks in advance.
Good to hear you're home Tracy.
Sorry I can't give any advice on the meds.
Maybe get a second opinion.
Thank Karina and Phil. How is you daughter going Karina? I think of you and your family often and hope that your daughter is getting better. You need to look after you also Karina. Are you still in Brisbane. I am doing okay. I get really tired because of all the pills. I counted them last night, I think there was 9 and then another 3 in the mornings. I'm back to the psych tomorrow so hopefully we can get rid of at least one of them. I'm back at work, I don't really have a choice, there are bills to be paid. I get two weeks off over Christmas which will be good. We will be having a quiet Christmas. Thinking of you every day and praying that your daughter is improving. Makes you wonder sometimes why we get stuck with these illnesses. Xx
Had my first appointment since being out of hospital with the psychiatrist today. We are both happy with the progress so far and although I am feeling better, she doesn't want to change anything until my next appointment. I need to get a blood test done to check the levels of Nortriptyline in my blood.
My next appointment is on 9th of January and hopefully we can reduce some of the medications then. Though the whole hospital experience wasn't overly pleasant (it was as pleasant as it could be), I wouldn't change anything that happened during my time there. I think the ECT was beneficial and although I didn't like it, I would do it again in similar circumstances if it was deemed necessary and although i'm on a heap of tablets, I can at least function and work and be a mother...sometimes you just have to do what needs to be done to move forward and get on with life.
Still happy with my progress, it could be better, but it has been much worse before, so I am grateful to be able to live as normally as I can at the moment. I get really tired because of all the medication (9 pills at night and 3 in the morning). I find if I have a rest, I can't sleep, but just lay down for 1/2 hour, than I am able to get up and keep going until bed time. I have started to stack on the weight, but am trying not to let it bother me at the moment. The anxiety is hardly there any more (because of all the medications), but my attitude had changed also. I don't worry about every little thing at he moment. I use to think 'I'm on too many medications and I don't want to take what the doc had prescribed', now I think if it helps me to live a normal life than so be it. It's not like I abuse drugs, they are prescription and just like anyone else who has an illness needs medication, than so do I. Lots of people have comments that I look like I have got some of my spark back and look the best I have in months, so I must be on the right path. I know it will suck when I eventually have to come off some of these pills. But I will worry about that when the time comes. Right now I'm just happy to get through each day without tears and dread and feeling like shit.
What a great positive post.
I have been following this thread so am really glad that things have worked out for you.
Still happy with my progress, it could be better, but it has been much worse before, so I am grateful to be able to live as normally as I can at the moment. I get really tired because of all the medication (9 pills at night and 3 in the morning). I find if I have a rest, I can't sleep, but just lay down for 1/2 hour, than I am able to get up and keep going until bed time. I have started to stack on the weight, but am trying not to let it bother me at the moment. The anxiety is hardly there any more (because of all the medications), but my attitude had changed also. I don't worry about every little thing at he moment. I use to think 'I'm on too many medications and I don't want to take what the doc had prescribed', now I think if it helps me to live a normal life than so be it. It's not like I abuse drugs, they are prescription and just like anyone else who has an illness needs medication, than so do I. Lots of people have comments that I look like I have got some of my spark back and look the best I have in months, so I must be on the right path. I know it will suck when I eventually have to come off some of these pills. But I will worry about that when the time comes. Right now I'm just happy to get through each day without tears and dread and feeling like shit.
Great to hear things are looking up :yesyes:
Great to hear things are looking up :yesyes:
Thanks Elen and Phil! You have no idea how thankful I feel to be back to some type of normal me.
I had a bit of a scare last night, the Nortriptyline is a tricylic and they are known for causing cardiac problems. My resting heart rate is usually high 50's, low 60s. Last night it was 90 and really pounding. I finally got in touch with the psych and she told me, they aren't usually worried until your pulse goes over 120bpm. It has gone down today to 70. It is just a 'not right' feeling when your sitting on the couch relaxing and your heart feels like it's beating out of your chest. I really feel that this medication is working for me so I'm hesitant to change it, especially with everything I've been through and trying so many medications already. In saying that, any heart problems can be serious. So I will keep an eye on it and I think if it goes over 100 while at rest then I will need to reconsider if I want to keep taking it. Overall, mood is still great and I'm looking forward to a week away at Kingscliff with the family. I can safely say that 2016 has been the worst year of my life and I'm looking forward to a fresh start in 2017.
I can relate to the heart beat thing.
I've been "blessed" with being conscious of mine all my life.
It gets scary sometimes.
Still happy with my progress, it could be better, but it has been much worse before, so I am grateful to be able to live as normally as I can at the moment. I get really tired because of all the medication (9 pills at night and 3 in the morning). I find if I have a rest, I can't sleep, but just lay down for 1/2 hour, than I am able to get up and keep going until bed time. I have started to stack on the weight, but am trying not to let it bother me at the moment. The anxiety is hardly there any more (because of all the medications), but my attitude had changed also. I don't worry about every little thing at he moment. I use to think 'I'm on too many medications and I don't want to take what the doc had prescribed', now I think if it helps me to live a normal life than so be it. It's not like I abuse drugs, they are prescription and just like anyone else who has an illness needs medication, than so do I. Lots of people have comments that I look like I have got some of my spark back and look the best I have in months, so I must be on the right path. I know it will suck when I eventually have to come off some of these pills. But I will worry about that when the time comes. Right now I'm just happy to get through each day without tears and dread and feeling like shit.
So glad you feeling better. :bighug1:
Hi Karina! A meet up sounds great. We will see what we can organise when we get back. How did your Christmas go?
We had a pretty good day. Picked the kids up from our exes about lunch time and then came home and the kids opened their presents. Then we went over to my mums for dinner. I was a little nervous because I had to drive our family home because Gary had been drinking, but I was fine. Went to the Boxing Day sales today, was a little nervous again, but it didn't stop me from shopping with the kids. I stayed at home with my daughter this afternoon and again I was okay. I'm certainly able to do a lot more than I use to be able to do, so I know that I have improved. The anxiety is still there but I can go with it and not let it overwhelm me. I even found myself encouraging the anxiety to come when I was at home on my own. Still a way to go until I'm anywhere close to beating this, but I at least feel like I've got a chance in the fight now. We head off for a holiday on the 28th so am really looking forward to getting away and relaxing.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.