Constant Fear of Cancer

[Brooke4131]

Hi All,

I've been a frequent lurker and occasional poster here for the past 5 years or so, but my health anxiety has finally gotten to the point where I really need help. All of my anxiety started about 10 years ago when my mother was told she had terminal cancer. Luckily, we were truly blessed and she has been No Evidence of Disease for the past 8 years.

Her cancer set off this fear that I was going to die young and every minor ailment quickly turned into cancer. I've had it all....brain tumors, MS, breast cancer, and now I've convinced myself that at age 30 I must have ovarian cancer. I've been having pelvic pain for the past month and of course, believe it must be cancer. I have an appointment with my doctor at the end of this week, but I'm an absolute basket case. I constantly cry and feel like I'm going to leave my husband alone to raise our young son because I'm so convinced that I will die from cancer. I know this is completely illogical and I probably have something very minor, but I just can't stop myself.

My husband doesn't take me seriously anymore and I can tell he thinks I'm just nutty. I haven't confided in any family or friends because I feel like they'll just laugh at me. This clearly can't go on any longer so I'm desperate for help. Can anyone talk me down or provide me with some good resources on coping with health anxiety? Thanks much!

[Catherine S]

I think it's a natural thing to fear an illness that has affected a family member, especially a parent. It's great that your mum is still around. My own fear used to be dying from a heart attack since my mum's younger brother died from a massive heart attack at age 48 when I was in my early 30s, and then in my 40s my own brother had a heart attack at age 46! So this fear stayed with me for some years, every little twinge near my heart would set me off into major panic, and unfortunately I became aware of every little heartbeat, including the erratic 'dropped 'beats which I still get regularly and for which I take a low dose beta blocker called Bisoprolol which works its magic every day.

My point is, i'm 63 now and still here and I haven't had a heart attack nor suffered with any kind of heart disease. ..the palpitations are benign and always have been, but they are uncomfortable sometimes so the beta blockers help to calm down my anxiety, and that's all. I wasted so many years worrying about something that hasn't happened. The thing is that I will eventually die of something and it may well be my heart when that time comes, but I could have lived the last 30 years without worrying about it.

Don't make the same mistake. None of us know how long we have so why waste time worrying if it will be tomorrow when we die? Or next Saturday, or next year. Live your life now, enjoy your children, and let your cancer fear go. Living in fear is only half a life anyway isn't It?

Take care
ISB x

[Brooke4131]

Thank you so much for your kind words, I Still Believe. You are so right that we never know how long we have and it is such a waste of time worrying about it. I often can go months without my health anxiety flaring, but it's often triggered by a family member or friend developng an illness. Of course when I develop a symptom shortly thereafter, I consult Dr Google and it's all downhill. Thanks for reminding me what is really important in life! :)

[swajj]

I once thought I had cervical cancer and it turned out to be an infection. My gyno sent me for an ultrasound to confirm what he suspected. The only one who suspected cervical cancer was me...after looking up my symptoms on Google. I stay away from Google now.

There are so many threads here that I can identify with that it makes me shake my head sometimes. HA absolutely mystifies me. How can reasonably intelligent people suddenly turn into basket cases who fear every symptom is indicative of some terrible terminal illness?

[Brooke4131]

I agree Swajj, Dr. Google is my worst enemy! It's so easy to lookup a symptom and suddenly be faced with the worst. I'm pretty it would even be able to associate a hangnail with some fatal disease.

I've really noticed my HA being set off around this time of the year. I think with the holidays, one tends to become a bit more anxious and so caught up with everything going on that they forget to take care of themselves. And then when you inevitably get a cold or feel icky from being run down, you consult Dr. Google and then it all just goes into a downward spiral.