epileptic fit 20 years ago still giving me panic

[caroline crow]

Hi all,
Im new to this forum. Sorry if this is a chat thats come up before.....
Ive had 20 years panic free after finding Paxil worked amazingly for me - but they can't work forever and 5 months ago I had a nervous breakdown from massive over exercise and a very stressful job.
It seems the Paxil gave up on me the same time - or maybe had years before but I was coping.
I originally got panic disorder after having a seizure at a rave. It took about a year to find the right ssri but once I did I hardly gave it another thought - I just never drank, drugged or even drank coffee out of fear of them returning - but they never did - until now.
Now, every time I have a panic attack I default to thinking Im going to seizure again (it sort of felt the same when I slipped into it). Ive had an MRI and EEG and of course I believe the neurologists must be wrong when they say theres nothing wrong with my brain - I have all the health anxiety in the world.
I also have never had a fit since.
Im also on an anti convulsant.
I don't think I have found the right medicine this time round - tried Zoloft to no avail and will probably have to try another at some point but how can I break the association from panic attacks to seizures? (also terrified of meds incase they make me seizure but have to be on them because my panic is baaaaaaad)

My therapist thinks we aren't ready to delve into it but I literally have become housebound again unless my husband drives me and I start work again in Jan and Im terrified (Im not driving now either because of the fear of these awful things)
I know all the logical things - you can't die, you wont seizure etc etc - but my brain doesn't click on a sub conscious level. Will it ever?
:weep:

[Tea]

Things absolutely can change. You should probably talk more seriously with your therapist about working on this (and why he doesn't think you're ready/when he thinks the time might be right). If this is the most important thing to you to work on, hopefully you can start preparing to tackle it together soon.

I think I have a slightly similar experience in having a traumatic experience where I got pretty sick and it shook me up to the point of being terrified it would happen again. The work I did with my therapist has helped a lot to deal with that fear of it happening again. It took a lot of sessions where he basically broke it down the way he does for people with PTSD, but things are looking up.

I believe that things can change for you with the right support. I know it's been a while since you posted this and I hope you're doing better :)

[caroline crow]

Thank you so much for the reply. I have been considering PTSD treatment to remove my anxiety from that isolated event. It would possibly be easier to deal with if I could actually believe them when they say anxiety won't kill me - right now I don't believe them because it feels SO much like the feeling of slipping into a fit, and I was clinically dead for several minutes when that happened...... Thanks again.