Work has become a hostile place

[SurfingWaves]

I have been working at a factory on night shifts for the past year and things have changed a lot recently, the agency have done 3 large inductions in the last month, most of my real friends have left or I rarely see them, the nature of the job means you can end up on a line with anyone and it is the most unpredictable job I have ever worked. It is a different line or task in the factory with random people or whoever the supervisor decides to pair up.

I am not cut out for meeting and getting to know new people every time I work a shift its very tough with having social anxiety, I havent got anything in common with a lot of them. Everyone my age has left and after last nights shift I really noticed I am working with a bunch of teenagers and I am 34 I should be doing something better with myself now. I was initally going to do the job for a few months and get something better but I got complacent with it because of the flexible hours - I choose my own shifts, can choose as many or little as I want.

I'm getting tired of the banter and the backatabbing bitchiness of them all. there is only 4 lads out of 80 that I have a real conversation with. Theres a lot of lads that just talk about snorting coke and gambling and will take the piss all the time, its like being back in school. one lad in particular I had an 'argument' with him and he said he was going to 'get his mates to kick my head in' the situation was diffused (by me) and he calmed down.

It's looking like its time to move on, I dont connect with nearly any of them. It is 12hr shifts of major awkward moments and when I come home I just ruminate endlessly about the night and how different I feel to nearly everyone there.

I think im in the early stages of depression which I havent felt in many years, Everything in life has changed so quickly the last couple of months and having a hard time adjusting. Missing my old life living with my partner and baby, and getting used.to new flat, living on my own.

I feel lost to be honest, I dont recognise hardly anything in my life now, im spending nearly all my time alone or with people I have nothing in common with. I come home to a flat I dont know, I really want stability back.

[Faith1992]

Hey SurfingWaves,

I can relate to this. What it sounds like to me is a case of poor management. For example, you being always paired up with people that you haven't met before. This must be frustrating as I guess that you'd have to guide them into what they have to which must be tiring too. Is there someone there when you get along with? If so could you ask that you get paired with this person from now on?

If not then maybe have a look for a different job that's got more stability? It sounds like you aren't fond of your flat either. Have you thought about looking for a different place? One that would be nicer to come home to?

As for the depression side of things, you mentioned you had a baby. Can you arrange it so that you can see your baby more? I'm sure that would lift spirits. Also sound very cliche and something my mum would say but the moment you start to feel like you're slipping into depression, make sure you carry on as normal instead of retreating. By this I mean get yourself out everyday even if it's just a walk, go for a run, or to the gym. Eat healthy foods and avoid alcohol. Don't fall into the trap of people at work and turn to gambling either, gambling, drink, drugs are all forms of escapism that can lead to addiction.

[PunkyFish]

I have been working at a factory on night shifts for the past year and things have changed a lot recently, the agency have done 3 large inductions in the last month, most of my real friends have left or I rarely see them, the nature of the job means you can end up on a line with anyone and it is the most unpredictable job I have ever worked. It is a different line or task in the factory with random people or whoever the supervisor decides to pair up.

I am not cut out for meeting and getting to know new people every time I work a shift its very tough with having social anxiety, I havent got anything in common with a lot of them. Everyone my age has left and after last nights shift I really noticed I am working with a bunch of teenagers and I am 34 I should be doing something better with myself now. I was initally going to do the job for a few months and get something better but I got complacent with it because of the flexible hours - I choose my own shifts, can choose as many or little as I want.

I'm getting tired of the banter and the backatabbing bitchiness of them all. there is only 4 lads out of 80 that I have a real conversation with. Theres a lot of lads that just talk about snorting coke and gambling and will take the piss all the time, its like being back in school. one lad in particular I had an 'argument' with him and he said he was going to 'get his mates to kick my head in' the situation was diffused (by me) and he calmed down.

It's looking like its time to move on, I dont connect with nearly any of them. It is 12hr shifts of major awkward moments and when I come home I just ruminate endlessly about the night and how different I feel to nearly everyone there.

I think im in the early stages of depression which I havent felt in many years, Everything in life has changed so quickly the last couple of months and having a hard time adjusting. Missing my old life living with my partner and baby, and getting used.to new flat, living on my own.

I feel lost to be honest, I dont recognise hardly anything in my life now, im spending nearly all my time alone or with people I have nothing in common with. I come home to a flat I dont know, I really want stability back.

Sorry to hear you're going through a tough time. Up until recently I was in a hostile work environment with colleagues who were immature, backstabbing, loved a good gossip about people and enjoyed a good argument with one another. Spending time stuck in an office and making pointless conversations with people I didn't have anything in common with was exhausting. It's horrible when you have to muster up the strength to go into work and deal with these people and not to lose your temper with them. Luckily I've been offered a new job which I think is the best way forward. If you're in a job which you hate or is hostile, it's time to move on. Many jobs involve working alongside the same set of people and doing the same set of tasks everyday, which should help your social anxiety.

You've clearly had some tough times, so give yourself a break. It's only going to be natural for missing certain people in your life. Eventually you'll get use to your flat and the stability will return. If you feel yourself slipping into depression then speak to a doctor for some advice.

[Cherryade]

If you can, then change jobs.
With your new flat, try to make it feel like home - put up photographs of your baby, perhaps buy some new bedding, piece of furniture, little knick knacks, put up a shelf. Make it your home and a warm, inviting place to be where you are comforted. Surround yourself by things you like. eg. now is the time to put that Honda Goldwing poster on the wall! You'll soon think of it as home and not just a flat where you are staying.