SurfingWaves
03-12-16, 10:16
I have been working at a factory on night shifts for the past year and things have changed a lot recently, the agency have done 3 large inductions in the last month, most of my real friends have left or I rarely see them, the nature of the job means you can end up on a line with anyone and it is the most unpredictable job I have ever worked. It is a different line or task in the factory with random people or whoever the supervisor decides to pair up.
I am not cut out for meeting and getting to know new people every time I work a shift its very tough with having social anxiety, I havent got anything in common with a lot of them. Everyone my age has left and after last nights shift I really noticed I am working with a bunch of teenagers and I am 34 I should be doing something better with myself now. I was initally going to do the job for a few months and get something better but I got complacent with it because of the flexible hours - I choose my own shifts, can choose as many or little as I want.
I'm getting tired of the banter and the backatabbing bitchiness of them all. there is only 4 lads out of 80 that I have a real conversation with. Theres a lot of lads that just talk about snorting coke and gambling and will take the piss all the time, its like being back in school. one lad in particular I had an 'argument' with him and he said he was going to 'get his mates to kick my head in' the situation was diffused (by me) and he calmed down.
It's looking like its time to move on, I dont connect with nearly any of them. It is 12hr shifts of major awkward moments and when I come home I just ruminate endlessly about the night and how different I feel to nearly everyone there.
I think im in the early stages of depression which I havent felt in many years, Everything in life has changed so quickly the last couple of months and having a hard time adjusting. Missing my old life living with my partner and baby, and getting used.to new flat, living on my own.
I feel lost to be honest, I dont recognise hardly anything in my life now, im spending nearly all my time alone or with people I have nothing in common with. I come home to a flat I dont know, I really want stability back.
I am not cut out for meeting and getting to know new people every time I work a shift its very tough with having social anxiety, I havent got anything in common with a lot of them. Everyone my age has left and after last nights shift I really noticed I am working with a bunch of teenagers and I am 34 I should be doing something better with myself now. I was initally going to do the job for a few months and get something better but I got complacent with it because of the flexible hours - I choose my own shifts, can choose as many or little as I want.
I'm getting tired of the banter and the backatabbing bitchiness of them all. there is only 4 lads out of 80 that I have a real conversation with. Theres a lot of lads that just talk about snorting coke and gambling and will take the piss all the time, its like being back in school. one lad in particular I had an 'argument' with him and he said he was going to 'get his mates to kick my head in' the situation was diffused (by me) and he calmed down.
It's looking like its time to move on, I dont connect with nearly any of them. It is 12hr shifts of major awkward moments and when I come home I just ruminate endlessly about the night and how different I feel to nearly everyone there.
I think im in the early stages of depression which I havent felt in many years, Everything in life has changed so quickly the last couple of months and having a hard time adjusting. Missing my old life living with my partner and baby, and getting used.to new flat, living on my own.
I feel lost to be honest, I dont recognise hardly anything in my life now, im spending nearly all my time alone or with people I have nothing in common with. I come home to a flat I dont know, I really want stability back.