Help to stop anxiety getting the better of me

[Humly]

Hi folks. I am off and on here periodically for support and I'm back again.

My problem is over reacting to life's upsets and blowing things totally out of proportion. I'm not like this all the time, but every so often, something will happen, usually something that I have no control over the outcome, and I wind myself up into a state when I really want to just put it to one side unti it is resolved. But my brain won't let me and the problem goes round and round in there.

I don't really have anyone in real life to talk to. I have lots of friends and a small family but I can't bring myself to admit to them just how much I am suffering when I am in the throes of worrying about whatever issue it is at the time. I am ashamed as I think they will look upon it as being trivial and not worth getting into such a state about. They are right.

So, considering that I am not constantly like this, where do I turn. I'm not keen on meds and tried telephone cbt and didn't engage. Maybe it's time to try again.

I guess I really just want contact with others who are the same and understand the way I am.

[Sage579]

Opening up is best thing you can do, I just had relaspe I before that I kept it in and only really confided in my one freind. After the relaspe it was hard but I opened up to my family about what I was feeling and experiencing and they were very supportive.

[Humly]

What would people think of me if I told them how worried I was over the lastest "issue"? I don't want them knowing I am in pieces inside. I will bring things up in conversation and say I'm a bit worried but leave it there when all I want is to talk and be reassured constantly. This is not the way to think but I do.
It's a control thing. If it's important to me or my kids, and I have no control of the outcome, then I get overcome with anxiety until it is resolved and the longer it goes on, the worse I become. I begin catastrophising.
I know you cannot control the outcome of everything in life and I generally don't try and do this but every so often I lose perspective.
I wish I could tell you the circumstances of the current thing I am worrying about in detail. I'm sure there would be people who have experience of it who could help. It's nothing drastic, but important to me.

[PanicMama]

This is exactly how I feel. It's hard to explain the thought process to people who don't have anxiety. Once something is in my head, I worry until the issue resolves, which can be very long sometimes. Usually I have to go over every outcome, so I can be prepared. And it is about control. I think I can control the situation by being prepared, but that's not how it works.

I just started seeing a therapist again for this issue. I hate feeling like this. Anxious about stuff that hasn't, and probably won't, happen.

[Humly]

Yes Panicmama, that's me totally. It gets in my head and it's like a whirlwind of thoughts going round and round till the thing is resolved. Ive been in that situation many times, anxious about the unknown.
It's strange, but I was in a "real" situation a few years ago when my dad was ill and he died suddenly, and although it was awful and not a good time, it was a totally different feeling to the anxiety I have over imagined problems.

[PanicMama]

Exactly! I'm really level headed in real life situations. For me, the imagined problems are always worse because there is no end. My brain keeps going. Then the physical side of anxiety kicks in: restlessness, irritability, fear, etc. and my body is just overwhelmed for days on end.