View Full Version : Age anxiety
Im 31 but since i turned 30 and lost a girl i was close too ive been severely depressed and anxious that im getting older -for 2 reasons
1-I did nothing to improve my life in my twenties to get out of the Job i hated and im still in it now( ive never known what i want to do with my life and im not passionate about anything)-this fact is absolutely killing me, i had a women to spend my time with this probally would seem as bade
2 Im ruminating about my age and loosing my looks-mainly because i never made the most of them when i was in my twenties didnt have many women or enough fun.....
im becoming a loner now and feel isolated and i dont actually feel like i want to go i really dont
---------- Post added at 13:24 ---------- Previous post was at 13:14 ----------
wouldnt seem*
Pretty sure everyone has age anxiety. It's in the firmware of being human.
i never made the most of them when i was in my twenties didnt have many women or enough fun...
Called being a man. 98% of guys feel like this.
Stop dwelling on the past dude. You are letting your past dictate you future, and when you do that, things don't change.
I know how you feel Wayne. I feel exactly the same.
Are you still feeling really bad?
Yeh .feelng hopeless
Tell me more. I wake up in the early hours and get anxiety about age and years. Years scare me, they didn't when I was young but they do now.
its hard to expand on what ive mentioned above ...an example would be i was in a bar local to me, theirs a barmaid in their that i like and im sure shes keen -always smiles and is giving me the come but like the useless prat that i am i cant talk to her and now ive blown my chance-and i rumernate and think about it for hours and days
its hard to expand on what ive mentioned above ...an example would be i was in a bar local to me, theirs a barmaid in their that i like and im sure shes keen -always smiles and is giving me the come but like the useless prat that i am i cant talk to her and now ive blown my chance-and i rumernate and think about it for hours and days
I'm like that to a certain degree. Not in the same way as I've been in a relationship for 11 years, but I was at the doctors yesterday and feel like I was being a little awkward and now can't stop thinking about it.
I also feel life is slipping me by. I'm 28 with no job, don't even feel able to work due to my low moods and social anxiety/self consciousness. I've no degrees etc, the 2 jobs I've had in the past are no longer trading so no references for future work. I feel entirely helpless and defeated. I can't believe it as I was very bright in school, thought I'd have a decent future, probably maths related as I enjoyed that subject in school, but nope. I sit on my phone most of the day, resenting my life and holding onto all the 'what ifs'.
I hope you find peace with yourself soon. You may not have blown your chance with that barmaid. Who do you go to the pub/bar with? If a friend, could they not put a good word in for you? Ask for her number perhaps?
im devastated with how my life has turned out -wish i could go back
You realise its your responsibility to improve it right though Wayne?
You can't go back. None of us can. Your future is down to you.
i cant i dont actually know what to do about it
Life is there for the taking Wayne, it's up to you how you live it. It's always that bit harder for people like us with anxiety but, unlike with physical diseases, there is actually nothing stopping us from doing the things we want.
You're not old by any stretch of the imagination but it is normal to feel a bit wobbly about ageing around the age 30 mark (although I started stressing at 27, when I finally turned 30 it was a relief).
I changed career and started a PhD when I was 31, people change career/lifestyles at all ages. There's an old couple in their 70's who live beside my mum and they both have walking sticks which are covered in stickers of the flags of all the countries they have visited together. They only met in their late 50's and have travelled the globe.
What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't write your life off - no-one knows what's around the corner and just because you gain some wrinkles doesn't mean you throw in the towel. You need to make it happen though.
i know i know but everyone saying you need to make it happen is only making things worse! i know i need to make it happen but i cant i dont have any money and i have bills to pay plus i cant put a finger on what i would i would like to do !! nothing seems to make me happy-plus this anxiety is making it impossible to make a decision !
Anxiety is often caused by a lack of a clear future.
If you could get out of the downward spiral, and pick one thing to focus on that you can improve, you might start feeling a little better.
im devastated with how my life has turned out -wish i could go back
I know how you feel but you are going to drive yourself insane if you keep on thinking like this :ohmy:
Everyone, anxiety or not, has had or has times when they feel like this. It's not just about age, it can be about a career choice, life decisions, relationships etc. It's just a different aspect of "What If?"
I can tell you from experience that the things we regret the most are the chances we don't take. Yes, you can fail but at least you tried and have the opportunity to keep trying.
Reading this thread and the great advice being given only to see the defeatist negative attitude is disheartening. It situations like this that probably brought to light the phrase "Suck it up buttercup, that's life!"
I totally realize that's not helpful in many cases but it is the reality. The truth is, in real life, you either do or get left behind to your own devices. It still comes down to helping yourself and taking the steps necessary to do so. It's not like you have to climb the mountain in one day but climbing a few feet a day eventually gets you there.
In this situation, getting professional help and counseling would be a pretty good first step to take. Once you start feeling a little better, career aptitude and counseling would help in determining what you want to do. I've always preached to my children to do what they have a passion for as I did. Heck, I was in pre-med and switched to music! I could have easily been a doctor but chose the life I felt passionate about and have no regrets. My son travels the world working for the airlines and my daughter is taking her love for kids and graduating next week with a degree in education and will be a kindergarten teacher.
Again... it comes down to taking those first steps. Then it's one foot in front of the other.
Positive thoughts
The positive side is that you have nothing that prevents you from making life changes. At 30, some people are tied to a job, mortgage, kids and husband/wife and have too many responsibilities to make any major life changes.
You seem to be focusing on all the things you don't have or haven't done but you need to be thinking about all the opportunities you do have and the things you can do in the future. It's really easy to lose motivation when anxiety and/or depression brings you down. Maybe think of one or two little things to try out...? A new hobby or exercise for example.
I don't know where this phrase comes from but it goes 'If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got'. I heard it at a group meeting and it makes a lot of sense to me
I mean its great to see people achieve their passions but i just wish I Know what mine was and another thing is anxiety absolutely knackering me out in evening literally sleep so much and its that time in the evenings i should be spending studying .making plans but instead im having to recover from exhaustion
'If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got'.
Yep... Awesome quote!
Positive thoughts
have you thought about going the gym? sounds mad but there's nothing better than
a good exercise routine to get your self esteem back.
it really works. and you get to look better which can only be a good thing
Cant afford gym but do a lot of running, weights , press ups at home
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