Can't seem to break the cycle (partly some lady stuff)

[Crazymommy]

Hi everyone. I'm new to this forum but have lurked as a guest for a while now and have posted on other boards. I have had bouts of health anxiety in the past but it has been in a sort of "remission" for a while now. I worried about other things instead, I suppose!

Anyway, my current worry is based on female cancers. My periods have always been very regular. I am now 42 and after this last one, I started bleeding again a few days later. Definitely freaked out, ran to the doctor who did some tests - endometrial biopsy, some bloodwork and sent me for ultrasound. I existed in a fog of fear for a week and then they called and said all the tests came back normal. Bleeding stopped, I am still occasionally having some brown discharge though. I went to dr for follow up visit and she was reassuring - said there's a small chance of polyp still being there that was maybe "hiding"... but she said it's unlikely to be cancerous even if it were there since biopsy was normal. She said "its exceedingly unlikely that there is any cancer in there". She asked me to keep a "menstrual diary" and come back in a month and half or so after we see what goes on with next cycle.

So now here I am and I can't quite get back to normal. I have to keep talking myself down and this menstrual diary has me obsessively going to the bathroom and "checking". I find I still feel as if something is wrong, my underlying mood no matter what else is happening is fear and it's distracting me from everything.

I guess I partly want some reassurance (who doesn't want a little reassurance?) But I am also wondering how other proble snap out of it in the face of these "pretty certain" results? How do I not fear the tiny possibility? It's like this triggered a reaction and I can't quite turn it off without more information but I have to wait a while for that. She did offer to do a d&c but didn't think that was necessary right away. I told her I didn't want to make a decision out of paranoia and she immediately said "then we wait and see, I am not concerned about cancer"

Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated.

[Crazymommy]

So now I'm finding even more brown discharge. Sometimes I think if I understood what could possibly be happening, I would feel better. Meaning the biology of it... I am having a hard time with the uncertainty, with wondering why this kind of thing could happen all of a sudden after 30 years of getting a normal period! And not knowing means I keep going back to the bad things.
Ugh, I was doing so well for so long and now I find myself trapped in this awful thought pattern again. It's so horribly familiar.

[Catherine S]

Hi, you mention that your doctor told you there may be a polyp 'still' there, you had polyps before? If so did you have the same problem with extra bleeding and discharge? I've never had uterine polyps but hit the menopause at 48, meaning I had my last period ever (thankfully ) three months before my 49th birthday, but from around age 42 until then my cycle, hormones and anxiety were horrendous. I believe it's known as Peri-menopause and as the oestrogen was dropping off, the madness continued! Really heavy clotty periods that went on for up to 3 weeks then nothing for the next 6 except brown discharge. Panic attacks came and went, palpitations and feelings of weakness and trembling etc. Awful headaches too.

The list was long so I won't bore you with it, and every woman has different experiences during this time, but do you think this might be the start of the run up to the menopause for you?

ISB x

[Crazymommy]

Thanks so much for the reply!! No, I've never had a polyp... I think she just meant "oh, the ultrasound didn't show one but there's still a chance something is in there buried in the lining that was small and we couldn't see".

The feeling of weakness and trembling younmwntioned is familiar. I have to say, the day before this began for me, I was shaky and filled with extra anxiety all day. But with no reason at the time, I was having a very normal day.

I wish my doctor had said that it could be perimenopause but she seems very set on finding a "reason" which has made me focus on it, as well. I have had thoughts before that perhaps perimenopause was coming (worse cramps, heavier periods, getting closer together, anxiety building). But she never mentioned that as a reason this happens and didn't make it seem like a common occurrence. Maybe it is and she's just trying to be thorough in ruling things out, but I don't know.

If it was the scariest thing (for me in this case, that would be ovarian cancer) then I assume it would have been seen on ultrasound. If it was very advanced uterine cancer, I assume an endometrial biopsy would have turned something up. I'm just so tired of having to talk myself down from this every 10 minutes all day!! Without a clear explanation, I'm just filling in the blanks with awful things!

Thanks again... it's very helpful to hear that you had the brown discharge for a while and it was nothing sinister!

[Catherine S]

Strangely enough, no doctor ever said the word perimenopause to me in all that time either! I just kept going to them about my heavy erratic periods and would mention my other symptoms but they were dismissed in favour of treating the periods. I was given the progesterone pill...called Norethisterone here, but they made the anxiety symptoms worse.

When I was 47, so 5 years into it, they recommended the Mirena coil as this had good results for bad periods, and it did actually work. However, it releases progesterone so as with the progesterone pills, it added to the awful anxiety, so at age 48 I had it removed and I was prepared for my periods to return but they never did. So that's how I hit the menopause, but I had to figure out the perimenopause for myself by reading up on it...articles in magazines and library books etc.

As for your ultrasound scan, try not to worry about it, they know what's normal and what isn't. I was told some years ago that a small cyst had shown up on an ovary but they didn't seem bothered by it, and ive never had any problems with it...I don't know if it's still there as there was no follow up. If however your periods become too bothersome they may look into it more to see if it is because of a polyp, and if it is its a really simple procedure to remove it.

ISB x

[Crazymommy]

Thank you. You've been very helpful! I wonder why doctors don't discuss perimenopause more often? I wish that my doctor would have a conversation about what could happen - maybe they're afraid people won't get things checked out if everything were blamed on perimenopause. I don't know. But it sure would have helped me if she explained this as a something that happens to people my age and that it doesn't have dire consequences!

[ScaredLizard]

I've been in perimenopause for 3 years and my drs are still refusing to say that's what it is. I only know about it from reading and talking to my mother. They do very much need to have this discussion with women!

[spacebunnyx]

Are you talking about the stopping/starting brown blood you get either side of your usual period? If so, I had that. I actually had a ureaplasma infection - totally harmless - but annoying and periods went back to normal after a long course of antibiotics. Not saying its that but it could be - it's very common and not an std.

Xxx

[Crazymommy]

No, this is kind of random throughout the last few weeks. Last period started nov 23(which was actually a couple days early). It completely ended but starting 3 days later, I was bleeding lightly off and on for a few days. Doctor said that her test showed this was menstrual blood. I don't know how they can tell, but I guess it just hadn't finished all the way. Then brown spotting. Then nothing for a while. Then brown discharge. Now some red blood today but not a lot. So it just feels all over the place. None of this has been heavy bleeding by the way. It's all only showing up on the toilet paper.
The uncertainty is getting to me. I feel like I did "the right thing" - I went to the doctor, I had all the tests she asked for, I went to the follow up appointment. But I still don't actually know for sure what's going on. It's frustrating and gets me worried.

[SighNoMore]

I'm having weird bleeding and period woes too. I had an endometrial biopsy on Friday and I'm so freaked out for the results! I recently turned 40 and feel like I'm falling apart!!

I keep spotting off and on since the biopsy so I'm so scared that it stopped and now has started again with spotting

How are you doing?

[GlassPinata]

About ten years ago, in my mid-30s, I went through this polyp/abnormal bleeding craziness as well.
Rather than repost it, you can read it here:
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showpost.php?p=1629601&postcount=34

First it was cervical polyps, then endometrial ones (TWICE. The second time, there were many).

They were all benign however, and in fact I went on to have a healthy baby at age 40, and haven't had another issue with my reproductive system since (I'm now 44).

Polyps very rarely harbor cancer. It truly is rare.
But I know, even the slight chance is terrifying.
Apparently, polyps are caused by excess estrogen and will cease returning after menopause. So that's something we can all look forward to.
Hugs & best wishes.