Itsonlyme26
13-12-16, 15:52
I supposedly have a personality disorder , even though they haven't officially diagnosed me yet...it's been 4 years ! At first I was diagnosed with bipolar but when seeing my new mental health worker , he says I don't have bipolar but I may have something what the Americans call , 'Borderline Personality Disorder'. 4 years but still no official diagnosis. I've been on so much medication but nothing seems to help a 100%. I'm addicted to strong painkillers as they relax me and take the edge off , I don't like drinking alcohol so I feel these work. I asked my mental health worker in a pleading way today to give me something to take the edge off as I can't keep taking painkillers. He said no because I may get addicted to what he gives me but surely it's better than painkillers ? I could end up doing serious damage , maybe that's what he wants ? I'll be at his mercy that way. I work full time in a job where I get treated unfairly and it's driving me to feel like I may explode with rage , if I were an American I'd of gone on a shooting spree by now ! I'm sorry if that's offensive but it's the truth. I feel I'm going insane day by day , moment by monent and I'm not sure wether I like it or not ? The only good thing is I'll get to go on the wild side for a bit. I could be like the joker from batman !