VERY Anxious Today

[matt1981]

3 months ago I started to go to a social club because I was fed up of being home alone in the evenings so evetry wednesday night i go there and i always have a good time. It one of the best things I have done in dealing with my anxiety and increasing my confidence.

On wednesday I went there and a group of five of us were chatting and having a laugh, It was great but there is this girl, Emma who likes me but I am not sure if I like her its been going round and round my head all weekend its got really bad today. I am afraid if I do go out with her I won't be able to handle it and if I dont I will miss out on her and wish I did something. I feel that it isnt the right time to do anything about it not just for me but for her aswell.

I have really settled in well and made some really good friends including Emma and I am afraid that I could lose these friends and have to leave the group. I am so stressed about it and I dont know what to do :(

[trac67]

Hiya,

Maybe start to go out just the two of you on a friendship basis first and see if anything develops, it is always quite difficult to get to know someone properly when there is always a crowd with you, they do say some of the best relationships come from being friends first, so you never know and like you say if you don't give it a go you may always wonder, 'what if'

Hope this helps and good luck

Take care

Trac xx

[matt1981]

I do just want to be friends at the moment I just cant believe how stressed I am I am very rarely this bad! I don't know whether to say something to her today maybe text her and explain how i feel.

[trac67]

Well they say honesty is the best policy honey, just explain that you can't commit to a relationship at the minute, not just with her, with anyone, but would like to stay good friends, I think if you do explain to Emma and get it out in the open it will stop you from worrying so much and calm the anxiety down.

Take care

Trac xx

[matt1981]

Thanks hun.. Iv texted her and told her that im not saying im not interested, it isnt a good time for me and that i like things the way they are atm im just waiting for her to reply now :/

[Lozzie]

Well I think Trac has given you some sound advice there :)
It is best to be honest from the begining so no-one gets confused as to what's going on. And I'm sure just staying friends will mean hopefully when you feel more comfortable something more will develop.
I'm sure Emma will appreciate you being honest with her.
Good luck hun
Laura xx

[trac67]

That was a nice way of putting it and I am sure she will understand and then you can stop worrying about it :D let me know how it goes honey

Love

Trac xx

[samc100]

Hope all OK Matt - if things are meant to happen with Emma - then there will be other opportunities. I think you are right - if you can't handle a relationship at this moment then it is sensible to come clean about it.

[matt1981]

I texted her and she said that friends is good:) i am still anxious about it but my other friend has said that i have nothing to worry about thank you all for ur helpful advice :))

[trac67]

Glad it worked out for you Matt and you and Emma are still friends :D

Take care

Trac xx

[sarah1984]

Glad too to hear things went well. Well done on getting down to that social club, I think it's a really positive step. Just wish I still lived in Shirley otherwise I would be down there too!

I think it's so hard to get to know people these days once you've left school/uni-we lead increasingly isolated lives. What happens at social clubs? Is it a bit like going down the pub?

[matt1981]

thanks for that :) I still feel anxious about it esp last tuesday night! but i tell myself that nothing terrible is going to happen!

We just sit and have a chat and a couple of drinks we sometimes have a quiz aswell its a good laugh :) if ur ever in shirley or solihull on a wednesday night u should come down :)