antique
15-12-16, 23:37
My beautiful brave mum passed away 3 weeks ago, a few months after being diagnosed with cancer.
The last 2 years have been hell. Mum went from being an independent 87 year old who did her own shopping, to a shell of a woman dependent on carers.
The rollercoaster started in 2014 when she was run over in a supermarket car park. Mum broke her leg and recovered ok. Unfortunately, she went to a geriatric hospital to recuperate and due to their neglect, she fell and broke her hip. She recovered again but was obviously not so mobile. When she came home, she fell and broke the other hip.
During this time she was also suffering from glaucoma and lost vision in one eye. Her eyesight was poor in the remaining eye.
Just when we thought things could not get worse, mum found a lump which subsequently proved to be cancer of the vulva. A particularly rare and nasty cancer which caused lots of pain just sitting and going to the loo. She could not have an operation because she was too frail. We were offered palliative radiotherapy but she was in too much pain to actually lie on the radiotherapy machine.
We were hoping to get the pain under control in hospital so she could try again but after entering a hospice, she deteriorated very quickly. She was conscious for a few days and we had a final chat before she became unconscious. I missed her death by 10 minutes!
I am totally broken and so angry at the woman who caused the original accident which ruined mum's life. Mum and I were very close and I spent the last few years caring for her.
I have no siblings or kids so she was the last of my family.
I have survived the funeral and the last few weeks on autopilot. I keep occupied in the day. I have to work as I am self employed. I cry most evenings and every morning wake to the reality of mum's death. I am so tired, mentally and physically and hate this new life where everything has changed. My childhood and all my memories are gone with her passing.
I had a breakdown 20 years ago and am frightened that the anxiety will return as I have been feeling very stressed and panicky this last month. Having watched my mother's suffering and hideous decline, it has made me worry about the future. Life is so cruel and unfair.
The last 2 years have been hell. Mum went from being an independent 87 year old who did her own shopping, to a shell of a woman dependent on carers.
The rollercoaster started in 2014 when she was run over in a supermarket car park. Mum broke her leg and recovered ok. Unfortunately, she went to a geriatric hospital to recuperate and due to their neglect, she fell and broke her hip. She recovered again but was obviously not so mobile. When she came home, she fell and broke the other hip.
During this time she was also suffering from glaucoma and lost vision in one eye. Her eyesight was poor in the remaining eye.
Just when we thought things could not get worse, mum found a lump which subsequently proved to be cancer of the vulva. A particularly rare and nasty cancer which caused lots of pain just sitting and going to the loo. She could not have an operation because she was too frail. We were offered palliative radiotherapy but she was in too much pain to actually lie on the radiotherapy machine.
We were hoping to get the pain under control in hospital so she could try again but after entering a hospice, she deteriorated very quickly. She was conscious for a few days and we had a final chat before she became unconscious. I missed her death by 10 minutes!
I am totally broken and so angry at the woman who caused the original accident which ruined mum's life. Mum and I were very close and I spent the last few years caring for her.
I have no siblings or kids so she was the last of my family.
I have survived the funeral and the last few weeks on autopilot. I keep occupied in the day. I have to work as I am self employed. I cry most evenings and every morning wake to the reality of mum's death. I am so tired, mentally and physically and hate this new life where everything has changed. My childhood and all my memories are gone with her passing.
I had a breakdown 20 years ago and am frightened that the anxiety will return as I have been feeling very stressed and panicky this last month. Having watched my mother's suffering and hideous decline, it has made me worry about the future. Life is so cruel and unfair.