Worried and Scared Again After Months and Months

[looking4answers]

I know this sounds ridiculous of after almost 8 months of hearing my heartbeat and nothing really bad happening well but I am today ..I remember when i was at the doctors office and they brought up that I had a murmur .I had never known that i had one but well it scared me..The doctor said it was nothing to worry about..Yesterday I got out and stayed out most of the day and went from high altitude to low altitude to higher altitude and was there for over a few hours..I was proud of myself doing all the things we used to do. .Last night I tried to sleep but ached all over and today with not enough sleep im not feeling well.I can hear my heart pounding in my head yet everyone that I know professional thinks im listening for it..IM not and hate the sound of it but yet today I started worrying that the murmur may have created the sound and maybe thats what im hearing on days like this ,plus i have had a headache all day and the weather is cloudy but sunny .. just odd.perhaps its my sinuses amplifying the sound in my head but whatever is causing it I wish I would go away ..Im so scared that its some type of problem yet two doctors told me months ago it wasnt and a nurse friend also insist that its nothing but anxiety.l thought when you got out and kept going you were suppose to start feeling better..I don't i feel really bad today and my worries about my heart thundering in my head have started all over again ,although i have no other symptoms of heart disease and my breathing feels ok..the pulse rate seems normal yet my heart finds odd times to skip..It woke me from a sound sleep last night what little I had..and Im hearing it today thundering in my head as scared as I was the first few months I had it..If indeed it was something bad wouldnt i have shown some other symptoms or had something happen to me by now this is been going on for months.. I am worried and scared and hate feeling this way again..Please tell me that maybe its just my anxiety or could I really have heart issues and nobody knows.. and they just think im being a hypocondriac..its really scarry ..what should i do?

[looking4answers]

Come on .. 20 people read this and no reply .. I guess i must have something to worry about ..

[Reemy]

I don't think you have anything to worry about. It's not abnormal to hear your heart beating. I hear mine almost always. And since I have some heart issues, I also hear when it's not going well (like a really erratic SVT cycle starts), so I know that it can be unnerving. But just hearing it or feeling it, isn't a problem at all. Being active makes it more noticable, as your heart pumps harder, as it's suppose to. Then the hyperawareness kicks in, and you can't stop hearing it.

I do know how you're feeling. I have heart-related health anx and problem rhythms. I take a heart med, and I'm a chronic pulse-taker. With all of that I can say nothing that you described is alarming.

Try not to worry. I know it's hard sometimes :)

Reemy

[julie41]

Hi
I am always aware of what my heart is doing and im always taking my pulse to make sure its beating ok.I hate lying on my side at night because i can hear it beating in my head.IM often concious of my breathing as well and then start to think im breathing to slow and then think my heart is beating to slow and im gonna stop breathing.Its silly i know but i can sympathise with you cause it feels so real to you.When im concentrating on something else im fine.This anxiety is such a bitch never thought it could make you feel so horrible.
I think its good to know that there are other people out there who do feel like you and that maybe your not going mad after all.
Take care
Lots of love Julie xxx

[nomorepanic]

Could you possibly use some paragraphs - i think people find it hard to read your posts as well.

Maybe you are over analysing everything in your life rather than living it.

I would try to get a more active life, get a part time or voluntary job, get out in the fresh air and try not to think of the what if's.

Eat well and exercise more and see what happens.

[looking4answers]

Yes Nic,

I could use some, but sometimes when you are feeling something very intense correct grammar is the last thing on your mind..Sorry ...I tend to ramble, but to tell you the truth I really wasn’t aware that the English or grammar was that important on here. I wasn't aware that everyone was a scholar on here but suppose that’s why they are here .Its because all very intelligent people tend to have anxiety, and depression and other mental illness because their minds work differently than others.

I am sorry I offended you and your group of intellectuals and perhaps you are correct that I am over analyzing everything and I need a job and etc etc etc. But excuse me for writing here once again but we had a discussion similar to this once before. If people didn't over analyze everything why would you have an anxiety depression ,etc board?

I am amazed that you are more committed to proper grammar than you are running your anxiety board. I have had more comments from you on my grammar and the things I speak of than help from you on dealing with them. This I don't understand. Yes I could get a job, but I worked since I was 7 years old mostly two jobs most of my life .I raised five children and am at an age that I really can't see the benefit of someone correcting my grammar since I do have a doctorates and masters degrees in several fields.

I wasn't aware I needed an editor to post here, and express my deepest regrets that my English and grammar are not up to par for your taste. As for the job I think I will pass I earned being retired but im open for other suggestions. I much like the rest of the people here have good days and bad days and yes I forget to write in paragraphs but too tell you the truth I would be embarrassed to correct someone’s grammar and then tell them to get a job and think of other things instead of trying to honestly help.

Thank you for your support and giving me permission to post here, I was unaware of specific rules of grammar in your forum rules .I suppose I need to go back and read the fine print, perhaps that’s where it is. I was hoping at times others could identify with my issues and also hoping that my experience could perhaps help others but well then I guess I supposed wrong.

Thanks for your suggestion and perhaps you have a point , maybe If I would stay away from boards like this and think of something else then perhaps you are right I would be better for it. Thanks again for your constructive criticism it really does wonders for my soul.

:hugs:

[Brandy snap]

Hi there,

I have ectopics - I had an operation to remove a lipoma from my back and feel certain that some germs got in during the operation and spread throughout my body as not long after I began to get terrible stomach cramps, followed by a dreadful burning feeling in my lungs area. Felt very weak, had palpitations just going upstairs, got a very heavy burning feeling throat, then one day my heart started to race and my arms and jaw began to shake violently and my hands were white. Was absolutely terrified. Anyway ectopics started following this and I went to the doctors. I had one of those cardiograms in the surgery and it came back fine, but I am still worried something was missed. Can you believe nothing showed up in the blood tests either. I have always worried sick about what this was and whether any permanent damage occurred so I can identify with your feelings. I'm not sure I can be of a lot of help but I do understand, and by the way I did not go to grammer school. I'm just an ordinary person.

I hope you have a better day tomorrow. Take care.

Brandy Snap

[looking4answers]

Brandy,

Thanks for letting me know how you feel..I guess we all have our own little hells..

I keep getting told my medical professionals that there is nothing wrong with me.When I say medical professionals im talking about an gp and a ent vascular specialist which its been months since i have seen them but both said I was suffering from depression nothing more and a minor murmur caused by stress..

I have two friends that are both nurses and says its impossible for me
to have anything wrong with me because i just dont have the symptoms
that are related to anything fatal,annoying yes fatal no,but well I still feel in my heart there must be something terribly wrong.I wish I could convince myself there is nothing wrong but cannot..

I thank you for giving me support to tell me you feel like i do when
told there is nothing wrong when you feel it is.. Its so frustrating and
I am like yourself.I am not a medical professional but know what I feel.They say your mind can make you feel all kinds of things ,well to that I say if it can make me feel that way ,then why can't it make me feel like im rich ,or happy or beautiful or wealthy or whatever.If the mind is that powerful then why can't it do those things too..

For whatever its worth i thank you for responding .Hang in there and
hopefully we will all get through this..I aplogize in advance to anyone that is offended by my grammar and spelling.I can do better yet I feel that anyone reading this post will semi understand what im saying here.

Thanks again for letting me express my illiterate opinion when I do have masters and doctorates in several fields ,I find that my grammar lacks but find it unimportant and the problems we are facing a little more worrisome than a problem with remembering to write paragraphs.I think if anyone is wondering.

My grammar isnt structured correctly.My spelling really is bad and I probably have a poor use of the English language although most of the time I speak ,Manderin Chinese,Russian,German, and Norwegian and Spanish so my English suffers..Please forgive me .God bless you Brandy and you will be fine sweetie..Thank you for replying to me..

[neptuno]

Hello there !
Who gives a flying fig about grammar when you're worried sick and feel you're heart's about to burst ! I'm sure the symptoms you feel are due to stress and anxiety and not any underlying heart condition. We've all felt like this at some time or other. Go see your GP - a quick listen and an ECG will put your mind at rest. Then, with peace of mind just forget about it. Be kind to yourself. You are what's important here - how you express it is fine by me !

[nomorepanic]

I am sorry you took offence at what I said but a few people have told me that they can't read your posts as it hurts their eyes to concentrate on it and I do too that is why I don't reply much.

I thought I was helping with a suggestion that may get you more replies and you have taken it all the wrong way.

Sorry for that but I think your comments were very harsh towards me and way over the top!

[EebyJeeby]

Come on .. 20 people read this and no reply .. I guess i must have something to worry about ..

Hey no need for all this - I think Nic was just trying to be helpful in response to what you said (above). 20 people may have viewed it but may not have read it all the way through. The lack of response made you worry more. It was a helpful hint - nothing to do with intellect.

Just as things can be written en masse at intense moments, many people on here find it hard to concentrate on reading large amounts of text due to their condition. Not a problem either way unless you are demanding a quick response.

Eeb

[eeyorelover]

The honest truth is that I didn't post because I couldn't read the whole thing. It wasn't the length hun - believe me I've written some novels on the forum. It's the fact that when you are trying to read a post that has no breaks - it's hard to keep track of where you are while reading.

No one here is calling you illiterate!!! We could care less about your grammer or spelling - I for one am horrid at both!!!

But I do agree that you would probably get more replies if you restructured your posts with a break now and again.

I also think that you went overboard and were quite harsh to Nic! She didn't mean to offend you - I know that because she is one of the most kindhearted people I've ever known!!

I understand that sometimes when our feelings are hurt that we can lash out at someone but I think that you do owe her an apology.

xxx
Sandy

[Piglet]

I agree with Sandy - no one gives a flying fig about spelling, or grammar as such, it's just when posts are written in a big block they become too hard to read so people don't bother, hence not many replies.

I do hope you are feeling a bit better now. As someone who also gets a bit freaked by her heart I can empathise totally. I can't post though in a medical capacity as I am no expert but I often find our reference pages very reassuring if I am feeling wobbly about the whole matter.

Piglet :flowers:

[looking4answers]

Nicola,

Please forgive my outburst.I suppose when I get worried ,I get really sensitive although im already that way ,its what makes me ...well me..

Ill try to do better in the future and I aplogize.I was just having some bad days like most of us do and will try to be better in the future..

Please forgive the insensitive rebuttal and well I thank you and everyone here for your support.I have bad days and good days but I thought about that .. when others don't have anxiety they have bad
days and good days..Guess thats what the call life..

You do help me and please never shy away from doing it again.I thank you and once again I will try harder and make things more readable for others and be a little more thoughtfull..Thank you for letting me post here and thank you and all the others that kindley respond to me and make me feel more human..Michael

[looking4answers]

Once again thank you to all that posted..I see your points and forgive me for my outburst..I guess I really was harsh..To all of you and Nic I ask forgiveness from the bottom of my heart. You have all been a great source of strength to me.I will try harder in the future and thanks for putting up with my ocd,and whatever else I have.You are all very kind and helpful and very supportive..Who could ask for me..Thank you once again .Michael

[xBettyBoopx]

Hi Michael

I'm sorry that you're feeling so wretched lately, I know how that one goes, most people here do.

Please don't keep asking for 'forgiveness', people who DON'T have anxiety have 'outbursts' all the time and I know that the anxiety can make you a lot worse.

Have you thought about 'blogging' all that's going on in your mind? I know with me that it's getting it all off of my chest, so blogging or writing down on paper how I'm feeling helps a little.

People tend to accept physical illness more than 'nerve' problems because we know that it's not logical thinking.

Personally I know from experience that doing stuff to try to take my mind off it, doesn't help, not in the long term anyway, because when you've finished doing whatever, the old anxiety comes back again, so facing and accepting is the long term answer, but I haven't been able to do it!!

I hope you soon find peace from this awful illness, and everybody who suffers, because it's terrible suffering and unnecessary!

Take care

Elspeth

[looking4answers]

Hi,

Yes have tried blogging a few times and started and stopped and it helps me some but i usually put it away and stop writing..I appreciate your suggestions though and wiil maybe go back to doing that again or trying it .Maybe it will help..Thanks

[nomorepanic]

Michael

Sorry I didn't see your reply here - I wasn't deliberately ignoring you I promise. :ohmy:

Of course you are forgiven - I don't hold grudges for long.

Have a hug from me ...

:hugs: :hugs: