Mochi
17-12-16, 19:22
Sorry, this is a long post! I guess I needed to get this out.
Hello. I am new to No More Panic but not to anxiety. I have always been a worrier (my mother said she noticed anxiety in me as a toddler!), but the extreme panic and feelings of doom started a year after my first daughter was born almost 9 years ago....
I had a pain in my upper right abdomen that wrapped around to my back that started during my pregnancy. The pain continued after her birth and a test showed I had high amylase. I was advised to contact a gastroenterologist immediately. That sent me into a tailspin! Of course I assumed pancreatic cancer! I met a great gastro doc and he did a pancreas MRI which showed my pancreas was fine. During this time I also lost about 20 lbs (what is that? One and a half stone for those in England?) and went on a long frustrating and scary journey trying to find out why. I was working with a terrible doctor at a for profit clinic who allowed me to have CT scans, x-rays, brain MRIs, and blood test after blood test... my husband finally suggested that I find a new doctor which, after some more bad ones (a whole other long story), I finally found a very wise and sympathetic doctor.
He was the first doctor who thought I had postpartum anxiety and suggested I explore treatment for that. I started acupuncture, counseling, and working with a naturopath. It took a lot of hard work and I finally began to feel better. Then I got pregnant with my second daughter (5 1/2 years ago) and the anxiety vanished completely!
I was doing well for a while, but then about 2 years ago the stomach pains became worse and I started down the medical test road again. I have new insurance now (boo!) so all new doctors. My primary care is wonderful, but she referred me to a gastroenterologist who is nice, but not very understanding of my anxiety. He did an ultrasound which showed an enlarged head of my pancreas and followed with another CT scan which showed nothing! He is a pancreas specialist and assured me that no further testing was required. I calmed down a bit and moved on, but the fear returned this summer... I was once again convinced of pancreatic cancer so her performed a pancreas MRI which showed no mass or pancreatitis, but said my pancreatic divism was stable. What the hell?? No one ever mentioned this before! I was told all was well and that I should stop worrying.
Well, then I developed back pain (we just moved and I was lifting heavy boxes) that I was convinced was a sign of lung cancer and I freaked again! That cleared up and now I am back to worrying about my pancreas. The abdominal and back pain is intense and I can't get it out of my head.
Lastly, to top this all off, I found a marble sized lump that feels kind of like a moveable rubber ball next to my right breast and freaked out once again!
I am a teacher on winter break with my 8 and 5 year old daughters and should be loving on them and having fun this holiday season and I am so preoccupied and zombie like. I have barely been able to engage in conversation.
I am 44. My parents are both very healthy; my dad is a 67 year old marathon runner. There is only a little cancer in my family history (a grandfather and one aunt) though anxiety does run deep on both sides.
I have been told that I can manage anxiety and that it can go away, but after it left me and returned, I am not so convinced anymore.
I am terrified!
Thank you for reading if you made it this far. I have great friends and a supportive husband, but nobody truly understands my anxiety.... I hope to find friends here who do.
Hugs
Hello. I am new to No More Panic but not to anxiety. I have always been a worrier (my mother said she noticed anxiety in me as a toddler!), but the extreme panic and feelings of doom started a year after my first daughter was born almost 9 years ago....
I had a pain in my upper right abdomen that wrapped around to my back that started during my pregnancy. The pain continued after her birth and a test showed I had high amylase. I was advised to contact a gastroenterologist immediately. That sent me into a tailspin! Of course I assumed pancreatic cancer! I met a great gastro doc and he did a pancreas MRI which showed my pancreas was fine. During this time I also lost about 20 lbs (what is that? One and a half stone for those in England?) and went on a long frustrating and scary journey trying to find out why. I was working with a terrible doctor at a for profit clinic who allowed me to have CT scans, x-rays, brain MRIs, and blood test after blood test... my husband finally suggested that I find a new doctor which, after some more bad ones (a whole other long story), I finally found a very wise and sympathetic doctor.
He was the first doctor who thought I had postpartum anxiety and suggested I explore treatment for that. I started acupuncture, counseling, and working with a naturopath. It took a lot of hard work and I finally began to feel better. Then I got pregnant with my second daughter (5 1/2 years ago) and the anxiety vanished completely!
I was doing well for a while, but then about 2 years ago the stomach pains became worse and I started down the medical test road again. I have new insurance now (boo!) so all new doctors. My primary care is wonderful, but she referred me to a gastroenterologist who is nice, but not very understanding of my anxiety. He did an ultrasound which showed an enlarged head of my pancreas and followed with another CT scan which showed nothing! He is a pancreas specialist and assured me that no further testing was required. I calmed down a bit and moved on, but the fear returned this summer... I was once again convinced of pancreatic cancer so her performed a pancreas MRI which showed no mass or pancreatitis, but said my pancreatic divism was stable. What the hell?? No one ever mentioned this before! I was told all was well and that I should stop worrying.
Well, then I developed back pain (we just moved and I was lifting heavy boxes) that I was convinced was a sign of lung cancer and I freaked again! That cleared up and now I am back to worrying about my pancreas. The abdominal and back pain is intense and I can't get it out of my head.
Lastly, to top this all off, I found a marble sized lump that feels kind of like a moveable rubber ball next to my right breast and freaked out once again!
I am a teacher on winter break with my 8 and 5 year old daughters and should be loving on them and having fun this holiday season and I am so preoccupied and zombie like. I have barely been able to engage in conversation.
I am 44. My parents are both very healthy; my dad is a 67 year old marathon runner. There is only a little cancer in my family history (a grandfather and one aunt) though anxiety does run deep on both sides.
I have been told that I can manage anxiety and that it can go away, but after it left me and returned, I am not so convinced anymore.
I am terrified!
Thank you for reading if you made it this far. I have great friends and a supportive husband, but nobody truly understands my anxiety.... I hope to find friends here who do.
Hugs