Iritis information anyone? Relapsed concerns over serious illnesses like HIV

[Miss Pink]

Hi,

I haven't posted on this site for over a year now, but I've often checked in when I felt my health anxiety was creeping up again (After the death of a close relative I started to have panic atacks which turned into severe health anxiety for about 18 months where I eventually had to take months at a time off from work- I had the same feelings as most people on this site will relate to. e.g., absolutely convinced I had a brain tumour, MS, CJD, HIV etc with symptoms such as constant vertigo, muscle spasms, insomnia, depression etc)

After the support I found with this site and close friends I returned to work (which is still the hardest thing I ever had to do - sitting at a desk pretending to be working while I was constantly checking my pulse, worrying about dizziness, pretending to be working on the computer, when I was actually on this site etc - I'm sure a lot of you know what I'm talking about!)

Anyway, sorry for rambling it's 1.45am. To sum it up, I began to face my symptoms and slowly and without me even noticing they began to fade. I started to accept them and although I'll never be 100% better, I've recently learnt how to cope with things better...until this weekend.

I have been with my brilliant (and incredibly patient!) boyfriend for 4 years now and recently he has been diagnosed with Iritis (inflammation of the iris of the eye). This has occurred a few times this year. I hadn't thought too much about it but this weekend I went to the Hospital with him (as it has returned) and as I sat there I started to link his eye infection to things far more serious. He then told me the Doctor wants him to have blood tests and ever since I have been feeling more and more panicky about the possibility of him having HIV and this being a side effect.

This is embarrassing as its personal, but I wanted to share it with you as this site has been so fantastic to me that I wanted to turn here before I start doing the dreaded google searches and send myself into a full blown panic attack. Ok the personal bit, I have had two serious boyfriends before my current one. They both turned out to have seen other people while I was with them. I found this out afterwards and ever since then, I have been terrified about HIV. I have always tried to be careful, but (I feel so embarrassed about talking about this :ohmy: but I think it will be worth it...) accidents have happened on several occasions (they're right about contraceptives not being 100% reliable) with both of my former boyfriends.

At the height of my health anxiety I had numerous blood tests with my local GP and was so convinced of false results that I forked out over £400 for a Bupa health check (also with blood tests.) So, I can't sleep tonight as I am feeling out of breath, panicky and near to tears trying to convince myself that if I had something serious like HIV there surely would have been SOME indication of something not being quite right (my white blood cell count or something maybe). The thought of giving something like that to my boyfriend is unbearable and I'd like some advice please if anyone has any ideas?

Has anybody out there heard of, or suffered from Iritis? Do you know any of the causes? (yep....I'm trying my hardest not to type that in to Google myself that it is unbearable) Any info would be fantastic - from my experiences on this site before I know that your info is of far more benefit for an anxiety sufferer than any medical website would be.

Thanks so much for reading and I wish everybody on here the best of luck with coping with their fears, you're not alone.

Rachael x

[julieG]

Hi Rachel.

Sorry I dont know much of HIV or the eye problem you talk about. Of the little knowlege I have - the diagnosis of HIV is given from results of blood tests. You say you have had blood tests which have came back as negative so I would say thats a pretty good result! And if you dont have it - you cant have given it to your boyfriend!!

A quick look at iritis on here states that there are numerous causes for the condition including inflammatory bowel disease(!). THe hospital will do the necessary tests both to rule out and/or confirm things.

Best of luck xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Brandy snap]

Hi Julie,

My husband had iritis about four years ago. It was diagnosed after his eye closed up following his using a neighbour's electric saw to cut lengths of wood to make a garden archway. The wood was apparently treated with mercury and he must have got a piece of sawdust in his eye at some point. I had had to call out doctor in middle of night as he was having excrutiating headaches and nearly passing out. He was referred to an eye specialist who prescribed drops and he is fine now. (I was not fine when it happened as I go to pieces if he is ill!) Love Brandy Snap

[cattttt]

I had iritis the first time when I was pregnant, had pre eclampsia and poked myself in the eye! It took several weeks to clear up. The second time was eight years later, it came back for no apparent reason, and cleared up alot quicker this time. Iritis can be caused by all sorts of things, but if your boyfriend has had it several times, he needs to be checked for ankylosing spondylitis, a form of arthritis, iritis is one of the symptoms.

[chrisishere]

Hi there,

read very indepth information on HIV even to the point where i actually understood the exact science behind it. i WAS 100% convinced i had it, the more i delved the more i felt i could be the 0.00001% that was undiagnosed.

After meeting my girlfriend and asking her very subtly to get tested, and when she came back negative after one year together i gradually began to let it go, knowing that it was physically impossible for both of us to be negative and have any doubts, and now its been 6 years since my original fear , similar to you from a very unfaithful partner, i have no symptms cos i have not got HIV!!! I know that now

the anxiety then manifested itself in other ways, if it wasnt HIV it became some other worry, maybe i have generalised anxiety disorder, or mild OCD im not sure..

i dont know if this will help but you really havent got the disease, i have never heared of what you said being linked to HIV.

It can have eye problems but THE PROBLEM WITH HIV ANXIETY IS THAT THE DISEASE CAN MANIFEST ITSELF IN EVERY HUMANLY POSSIBLE WAY!!!!
ANY physical or mental problem can be linked in someway to a comprimised immune system.

SO ITS A HEALTH ANXIETY'S PERSONS FAVOURITE ONE TO LATCH ON TOO!!!! it has such ambigious symptoms, and so much controversy surroundng areas of it.


your test came back negative, and it is, just put it behind you and get on with your life and concetrate on getting help with your anxiety rather than any illness you beleive you have.

I always thought i had a health problem but recenlty have discovered its an anxiety problem i have, nothing else, it took a while to realise but i did evenutally, and now im not health anxious, just in other ways.

mm whats my next obsession:)

all the best

x

[ceecee]

hi rachel
welcome back!!1
you have done sooo well to get this far in your recovery!!!!!!
yo,ll be absoultley fine and try not to worry about your boyfriend he,ll be fine too!
take care
rach x

[Miss Pink]

Hi everyone,

Thanks for all your great replies, I really appreciate them :yesyes: :

Ceecee - thanks for your kind thoughts, chrisishere - thanks! its always reassuring when you here someone with the same thoughts - in fact your thought process is so similar to mine its scary! (but good !), cattttt, Brandy snap, julieG thanks for the info about Iritis - it has calmed me down a bit

I'm now considering going to a Sexual Health clinic and getting everything tested (I have never actually had a blood test to test for HIV - just the normal blood count stuff at the Doctors to check for anaemia etc), but I am so terrified about having to wait and collect the results...sigh..... I've spoken to my boyfriend who thinks I am just being crazy (in a nice way though lol), but I don't think I could actually go through all the tests for the fear if they say I have got anything - I wouldn't be able to cope.


(sorry for the depressing post!!!)

Rachael xx

[ceecee]

hi rach
i think it will put your mind at rest just to go docs and get a blood test,not because you have anything wrong but so you can put your mind at rest as you have been doing so well it would be a shame if it came back with a vengance!!!!:)
take care
rach x

[chrisishere]

no problem, it will all sort itself out im sure!

the ironic and scary thing is people like you and me have probaly got the some of the cleanest bills of sexual health on the planet.

LOL

[ashnjim]

Hi Rach i think you should go for an all in one test if you are so concerened just to put your mind at ease, i had the all in one test done when me and my current partner had an accident too, i had it done because i didnt like the look of his ex.
i must say it is really scary the wait but you can get your tests over the phone now so it easier with that, and the feeling of not having anything is great comfort and you try and learn from your mistakes and make things better in the future.

dont think this has helped any has it?

cheers
Ashley