Meeting people you know at a Support Group

[Ellen70]

This isn't something that can be 'fixed' but I just feel like airing it anyhow.

A couple of weeks ago I finally summoned up the courage to go to a support group that I had been meaning to attend for ages. I live in a rural area and this group is an eleven mile drive away and the driving home in the dark by myself was what put me off going for so long.

Anyhow I went one Wednedsay night recently and it turned out that my sister-in-law's father was also in the group. I knew that he used to attend the group several years ago but my sister-in-law mentioned a while back that he didn't attend anymore so I obviously didn't expect to see him there. He is a very nice man, in his eighties and would never do someone wrong intentionally.

Anyhow the support group has a very strict privacy policy and talking about what is shared within the group is strictly forbidden, as is telling others outside of the group who attends it.

I hoped that this man would not mention that I was at the group and I certainly didn't mention to any of my family that he was at the group. Unfortuantely he did tell my sister-in-law and my brother that I was there that night and that I didn't attend since. He absolutely meant no harm in telling them but now I feel that there isn't any point in going to the group as I would not be able to speak freely and would be afraid that anything private I did say would be 'leaked' back to my family.

The next nearest support group is 32 miles away and I certainly couldn't face that drive alone every week.

Anyhow I was wondering if anyone else had encountered the problem of meeting people they knew at a support group and how they dealt with it. At the moment I feel that I just won't attend the group anymore.

Regards

Eibhlin

[jo61]

Hi Eibhlin, it must have been difficult to you feeling the a confidence was breached. Would you be able to talk to him about it? Maybe if he knew how you felt you could go and feel that he'd say nothing. I know ikt's a very Irish thing for people to tell everyone who they've met and what they've done but this is different and maybe he just didn't think?

[Baggs]

I used to have a similar fear when I attended AA meetings - meeting someone that I knew in real life. In never happened with me and AA has a strict privacy policy - NO gossiping. However, regardless of the policy, people do gossip - just a fact of life. Although it never happened to me, it has happened to you - you met someone you knew. My only advice is, if the group was helping you, please please go back. Baggs.

[Reemy]

Wow, that's a toughie! I think it would make me uncomfortable to be in a group with someone I knew--I'm just not sure that I could be totally candid in that situation. But, as you said, you don't have a lot of support group options nearby, so maybe it's worthwile to try and make this work.

You said that you don't think he intended any harm by revealing your presence in the group, and that he's a nice man. Maybe you could speak to him about it, like Jo mentioned. It's not a perfect fix, but it would give you access to the support group, and I'm sure that's what's most important.

Best of luck.

[ksmith]

I live in a rural area and the same happened to me at the Anxiety Management Class I was attending via the GP. Even wose, there was an ex-pupil of mine in the class! However, I appreciate this is a bit different from a family member (albeit distant) being in the class who could, potentially, tell other family members about what was said.

I think if it were me, I might have a word with him and explain how you feel about privacy within the group and how you would appreciate his discretion. Sort of 'get him on board' stuff ......

Good luck

Kay x