TahTah
19-12-16, 21:06
Hi all.
First time poster - thanks ahead of your replies - it's so nice to find a forum of people going through the same sort of stuff. It's reassuring.
I have recently changed my job - going from being self-employed and largely homeworking back to a 9-5 office job. I thought it's what I wanted, as money (or lack of it) was becoming a persistent cause of anxiety, which was affecting my relationship with my partner (unable to take holidays, plan far ahead to future). So, I decided to go back into full-time, salaried work.
I've been doing so for a few weeks now, and my anxiety has intensified. I wake feeling incredibly sad, then get teary and panicky on my way to work, feel sweaty, nauseous at work, then tired and sad when I get home. My mind is full of racing thoughts, and they're all contradictory. So I go between feeling inadequate and I can't do the job to feeling silly for taking a boring office job when I was in a job before that many would kill for (albeit money was tight).
And my main fear is that I convinced myself a steady, well-paid job would cure the anxiety which had been building for around 18 months. But it hasn't - it has made it worse. Which has driven me to the GP to be prescribed anti-depressants for the first time, and being referred for talking therapies. I recognise now my anxiety is the problem, not my external situation.
But the fact remains that I have a new job, and one which I'm now telling myself I took as a result of my anxiety. Not because it was a good idea. Because my silly head told me to. And it didn't help. So I don't know whether to quit, and go back to my low-paid but relatively creatively fulfilling job, and try to fix my anxiety in the meantime, or keep going and hope I feel better in my new role.
Blah. Any help is welcome.
First time poster - thanks ahead of your replies - it's so nice to find a forum of people going through the same sort of stuff. It's reassuring.
I have recently changed my job - going from being self-employed and largely homeworking back to a 9-5 office job. I thought it's what I wanted, as money (or lack of it) was becoming a persistent cause of anxiety, which was affecting my relationship with my partner (unable to take holidays, plan far ahead to future). So, I decided to go back into full-time, salaried work.
I've been doing so for a few weeks now, and my anxiety has intensified. I wake feeling incredibly sad, then get teary and panicky on my way to work, feel sweaty, nauseous at work, then tired and sad when I get home. My mind is full of racing thoughts, and they're all contradictory. So I go between feeling inadequate and I can't do the job to feeling silly for taking a boring office job when I was in a job before that many would kill for (albeit money was tight).
And my main fear is that I convinced myself a steady, well-paid job would cure the anxiety which had been building for around 18 months. But it hasn't - it has made it worse. Which has driven me to the GP to be prescribed anti-depressants for the first time, and being referred for talking therapies. I recognise now my anxiety is the problem, not my external situation.
But the fact remains that I have a new job, and one which I'm now telling myself I took as a result of my anxiety. Not because it was a good idea. Because my silly head told me to. And it didn't help. So I don't know whether to quit, and go back to my low-paid but relatively creatively fulfilling job, and try to fix my anxiety in the meantime, or keep going and hope I feel better in my new role.
Blah. Any help is welcome.