Panicking, think I'm going crazy.

[ocds]

I'm a very paranoid person, I always have been for my whole life. But, now I feel like it may be getting worse and I am going to start experiencing schizophrenic symptoms. I've been getting scared people are going to poison me, even though I know they won't I get scared. It's

Now, when I was walking home a few minutes ago I was walking down the block when a car started to drive down behind me really slow. I started walking faster because my house was a few blocks away. I felt like the car was following me. I tried to use my phone but the screen was blue and pink, I couldn't see it properly it was like it was glitching. When I finally ran home, the car sat outside a house nearby mine for a few minutes and then went away. I looked at my phone and it was normal. I'm terrified that someone was trying to do something bad to me, and I'm scared by thinking this I am showing schizophrenic symptoms. I'm already afraid to go out of my house now, what if that person for some reason wanted to kill me? I know it's far fetched but they really did seem like they were following me, and now they know where I live. I'm terrified, of my own mind and of this person.

[Mochi]

You posted about this already, yes? I would try to stick to the same conversation to keep all of the suggestions together.

Anyway, you are being irrational. Your reptilian brain is in control. You need to take some deep breaths and come up with a plan of attack here... can you make an appointment with a counselor? Do you have some people who know you that you can talk to?

I remember as a child I would be terrified that people would climb into my window at night. My father's response was "what makes you so important that someone would want to get you??" I always thought that was such a good response. I am important, but so are a million other people. Unless you have a particular situation where you are in conflict with someone specific that you are worried about, why on Earth would someone want to get YOU? Why would someone want to kill you?? That makes no sense, right?

Talk to someone!!

Hang in there.....

M

[Stecakes]

if you think you're going crazy, you're probably not.
mentally deranged people don't question their sanity.

[ocds]

I don't know why I'm scared someone is out to get me. It makes sense that someone wouldn't want to kill me, I have never got involved in anything that would make someone want to kill me. I think it's my fear of death taking a physical form, if the person in that car had got out and caught me had they wanted to, I'd be dead. I've been thinking about death a lot for the past few years and recently I read people who are dying get very calm and accepting when they think about death. Which obviously made me react in a very calm and accepting way. Instead of just accepting death in the long term like "we're all going to die one day" my body has convinced me without much proof that I'm dying. Since I'm not sick I assume that it's because someone is out to get me, or it'll be a car accident or something. I wish I really truly could bring myself to believe I am going to live until old age, because I really, really, really more than anything want to although when I was young and depressed I always said I just wanted to live until I'm 30. Even though I'm not close to 30 I still get scared. I wish I could forget about death or getting hurt, but I feel like there's danger around every corner. Today my phone started playing music which sometimes it does by accident so I can explain that. The song was eerie. I felt like it was someone telling me a message, like an eerie message. I tried to talk to my dad about it but he said that they probably followed me to scare me or maybe they weren't even following me. I tried to talk to my therapist about it but she wanted to talk about other things. I prefer the anxious feeling to the numb feelings when I worry, the numb feeling makes them feel certain like I'm giving up a fight. I used to be so scared of everything but now I'm really numb and that worries me even more.

I have to walk a few blocks on my own tomorrow and I'm scared to. I don't know what to do. :(

[randomforeigner]

I sense that media in the US often is a bit scaremongering, or very hyped and stressful woth sound-snippets interfering with what the newscast is talking about, and a lot of focus on danger and doom. It's not like that in other countries, not yet at least. Maybe you should watch more programs from the BBC? Or read here, local news from where I am: http://www.thelocal.se

[Lon]

hey there... im in a similar pinch right now too. i got a scary thought that my brother was going to kill me. after the second passed i knew that wasnt so. same with when my mom feeds me food (i often serve myself). i happened to be deprived and on the case if my mom, i dont trust her, with good reason. i think we will both be okay. seeing your post is reassuring as so many people will also suffer this same fear. keep this in mind: you know it's fake, and schizophrenic people will often believe their delusions and defend them. if you are still afraid, i think you should speak to a therapist or proffessional if you dont have one. remember that these things can be treated and that you will be okay. no one's out to get you.