View Full Version : merry christmas to me
Im back for christmas and thiught id give an update.
I have been doing so well, so proud of self. However the past few days since acknowledgment i have neen having the damn schiz worries again. I heard nephews whispering as i was in corridor (theu were being naughty) and then told to sh but i worried i imagined them, i heard a lady on the phone ahead of me worried i imagined this as boyfriend didnt hear it (she was definitley on phone) and then this morning my boyfriend was talking to my mom and he said 'nah nah something something' and my axniety thought he was speaking foreign language and then it stemmed to worry i imagine it altogther and it was an hallucination
So apart from thst i had gotten over it ha.
Im back for christmas and thiught id give an update.
I have been doing so well, so proud of self. However the past few days since acknowledgment i have neen having the damn schiz worries again. I heard nephews whispering as i was in corridor (theu were being naughty) and then told to sh but i worried i imagined them, i heard a lady on the phone ahead of me worried i imagined this as boyfriend didnt hear it (she was definitley on phone) and then this morning my boyfriend was talking to my mom and he said 'nah nah something something' and my axniety thought he was speaking foreign language and then it stemmed to worry i imagine it altogther and it was an hallucination
So apart from thst i had gotten over it ha.
Cant you see that you are worrying about utter garbage and you really need to see a doctor to be referred for a mental health evaluation?
And no, not because you're potentially schitzophrenic, but because you are, and have been for quite some time, worrying about completely ordinary things.
Stop putting this off. Stop messing around and for goodness sake, get yourself some proper attention from a mental health professional.
I had done, well i used online support and done some reading with CBT books. Thered been instances where i would hear a noise and use logic to either ignore it or just be like yeah it was upstairs or it was the door or outside. It's just since fsmily have commented that i seem to not be so anxious i have become anxious again
I had done, well i used online support and done some reading with CBT books. Thered been instances where i would hear a noise and use logic to either ignore it or just be like yeah it was upstairs or it was the door or outside. It's just since fsmily have commented that i seem to not be so anxious i have become anxious again
Yeah, that's great and all, but whatever half arsed attempts at combating your anxiety you have done, clearly they are not working.
Get to a doctor, get a referral to the appropriate healthcare professional and get this dealt with properly. This has now went beyond tiresome. Take some responsibility for yourself and get some help.
Yeah, that's great and all, but whatever half arsed attempts at combating your anxiety you have done, clearly they are not working.
Get to a doctor, get a referral to the appropriate healthcare professional and get this dealt with properly. This has now went beyond tiresome. Take some responsibility for yourself and get some help.
Gary,
You are an excellent contributor to this forum, one I have a lot of respect for.
But I have to ask, why do you reply? There is no reason to anymore.
In all seriousness and respect, do think there's a small possibility you like a bit of drama? :shrug:
(Yes I see the irony)
Gary,
You are an excellent contributor to this forum, one I have a lot of respect for.
But I have to ask, why do you reply? There is no reason to anymore.
In all seriousness and respect, do think there's a small possibility you like a bit of drama? :shrug:
(Yes I see the irony)
I'm open to any suggestions because I genuinely have no idea. I don't think I seek drama in life, personally I think it could just be morbid curiousity and a bit of a weird habit of ranting. :shrug:
MyNameIsTerry
20-12-16, 14:31
Yeah, that's great and all, but whatever half arsed attempts at combating your anxiety you have done, clearly they are not working.
Get to a doctor, get a referral to the appropriate healthcare professional and get this dealt with properly. This has now went beyond tiresome. Take some responsibility for yourself and get some help.
Hi Gary,
Many of us use these "half arsed attempts". The forum, like every such forum, actively promote self help methods. And what can the NHS do to help someone in SK?
I've been working on my anxiety for years. I get stuck in many ruts. My life has been on hold for years. It's been the hardest thing I've ever gone through and no doctor gives a flying foo foo about helping me as I've had my therapy. So, self help it is. That or a quick prescription and booted out after 10 minutes of a pointless review to tick some boxes to prove he has done what the NHS expects of him, not to help me get better.
I agree she needs professional therapy but unless she sacks her work, that's never going to happen on the NHS. There comes a point where we have to accept it's about personal responsibility as you say but I think we also need to accept that it's outside our control too so why let it bother us? I find myself asking the same question you do about her when I see people continually saying this. I need to accept it's just how some people are though, which can be a challenge at times when things are "going off" on here and my anxiety is suffering but that's just life isn't it? In such a catch 22, other than online CBT (which if supported has accepted evidence that it can be as effective as face-to-face CBT) and self methods...she's screwed unless she can get it from the SK side. But I respect you continuing to try and despite saying this, I don't view you as someone jumping on someone to complain I do however with some on the forum based on their history on here (hopefully that makes sense? It's not meant to come across as me being a pain in the arse, it may do though :noangel::doh::D)
I'm rambling, it's brain fart day! :doh::biggrin: But hopefully you get my point about differing perceptions of the "half arsed" bit?
The whole "half arsed" thing is aimed squarely at the OP. Of course online CBT and things of that nature can work, but it certainly isn't for her. Also, for me, this is just another example of the OP waving away any and all discussion about her anxiety and keeping conversation in the realms of some physical complaint.
Work? I'm sorry, but if I was like this I'd be informing my employer and doing all I could to get some form of treatment. If it takes a while then so be it.
Our mental and physical health is the most important thing, and I have to say that not only the OP, but the people who surround her, do nothing in order to combat this.
Isn't her boyfriend concerned that his partner, who he's apparently starting a life in a foriegn country with, not concerned by all of this? Is he just drifting around in ignorance or what? Parents? Friends? Is nobody saying or doing anything about it?
I shouldn't comment, I know I shouldnt, but I can't help but air frustration and downright confusion when it comes to this poster. Morbid curiosity or whatever, at least someone has to convey this message, surely?
Do you beleive i have a serious mental illness like schiz? If anything i truly believe it's high anxiety.
Gary it sounds like you really do want to help but maybe it would be better to put that energy toward some of the other threads that aren't getting a lot of responses and may be more receptive to the support you offer. It might be less frustrating for you.
---------- Post added at 09:55 ---------- Previous post was at 09:53 ----------
Helenhoo there are lots of times I think I see something or hear something that isn't what I thought it was. I think it's common to experience that and not a sign of psychosis.
Catherine S
20-12-16, 15:11
If I was going to be a touch cynical by saying this poster maybe likes to pop up when she's bored just to wind you up Gary, then she's succeeding because she knows the response she's going to get from you and others. Sometimes I imagine she's saying to her boyfriend, "hey look at this, ive kicked them all off again"! But of course, that's only if i'm being cynical.
The trouble is that there will always be someone new around who doesn't know or read the back threads, and will take a thread at face value, so people like Helen will always get the attention they crave. It will just keep going around again and again, I've learned that to my cost so although I read this kind of thread, I've stopped responding to them...apart from this response of course :)
ISB
If I was going to be a touch cynical by saying this poster maybe likes to pop up when she's bored just to wind you up Gary, then she's succeeding because she knows the response she's going to get from you and others. Sometimes I imagine she's saying to her boyfriend, "hey look at this, ive kicked them all off again"!
The trouble is that there will always be someone new around who doesn't know or read the back threads, and will take a thread at face value, so people like Helen will always get the attention they crave. It will just keep going around again and again, I've learned that to my cost so although I read this kind of thread, I've stopped responding to them...apart from this response of course :)
ISB
Highly doubt that to be honest, but I hear what you're all saying. Time to use the ignore function for its intended purpose I guess.
MyNameIsTerry
20-12-16, 16:18
If I was going to be a touch cynical by saying this poster maybe likes to pop up when she's bored just to wind you up Gary, then she's succeeding because she knows the response she's going to get from you and others. Sometimes I imagine she's saying to her boyfriend, "hey look at this, ive kicked them all off again"!
The trouble is that there will always be someone new around who doesn't know or read the back threads, and will take a thread at face value, so people like Helen will always get the attention they crave. It will just keep going around again and again, I've learned that to my cost so although I read this kind of thread, I've stopped responding to them...apart from this response of course :)
ISB
The trouble is, Cath, whilst that's a valid opinion, it's also an opinion that frustrates & upsets others on the forum. Someone (who was nothing but lovely & respectful to others) actually left not long ago citing these threads as they were afraid they would could receive the same types of replies. She wouldn't have but as a long running thread person, she could get the comments about why bother posting as what can anyway say.
Besides, none of us can be certain about anything about anyone else on here.
There is a long thread about all this on Misc, which I personally believe should not even be allowed by Admin, so I guess a compromise is that such things are discussed on there and left out of these threads? Surely that's workable to those who disprove of these posters and it stops those of us who get frustrated with the unproven opinion calls? If someone can be proven to be trolling, that's for Admin to sort, not so much for members to keep invading their threads, isn't it? Someone new can get caught in the crossfire there, which happened not long ago on one of the other posters.
If we don't engage in debating that point, those with differing opinions won't engage either and the forums ticks along. I understand some people do it out of concern for others, but if we aren't all in agreement it just never seems to move on?
Catherine S
20-12-16, 16:44
That was what I was kind of saying anyway Terry....I think. And no point in taking over a whole thread again debating it so i'll leave my thoughts at that.
Cath ☺
MyNameIsTerry
20-12-16, 16:47
The whole "half arsed" thing is aimed squarely at the OP. Of course online CBT and things of that nature can work, but it certainly isn't for her. Also, for me, this is just another example of the OP waving away any and all discussion about her anxiety and keeping conversation in the realms of some physical complaint.
Work? I'm sorry, but if I was like this I'd be informing my employer and doing all I could to get some form of treatment. If it takes a while then so be it.
Our mental and physical health is the most important thing, and I have to say that not only the OP, but the people who surround her, do nothing in order to combat this.
Isn't her boyfriend concerned that his partner, who he's apparently starting a life in a foriegn country with, not concerned by all of this? Is he just drifting around in ignorance or what? Parents? Friends? Is nobody saying or doing anything about it?
I shouldn't comment, I know I shouldnt, but I can't help but air frustration and downright confusion when it comes to this poster. Morbid curiosity or whatever, at least someone has to convey this message, surely?
It's part of the treatment-resistant battle with anxiety for therapists. When I was at the walk-in groups they had none of this because they would stop the person and change the questioning and keep them answering something narrow. We just can't do it on here unless the person themselves is able to engage on the same basis.
Who knows what's going on here? It's all well & good to say you would be telling your employer but who knows what they are like? Unless your mental health is infringing on your work, they won't give a toss about you. Why should they? They are there to make money, their interest would be limited to prevention of it spilling over into work performance. Beyond their legal obligations, they can choose to be caring or not. If she is new, and this was concealed from them, you have to be pretty careful here. I've seen people dismissed for such things as a new employee so I'm mindful we don't know the story here.
The same with family. Who knows what they see other than what she tells us? I've seen people on here claim her OCD is severe but that's incorrect according to NHS guidelines alone from what I can tell of Reb's descriptions of her issues and as someone who has been through that, relocating across the other side of the world would be very much outside of my ability when I was really bad. It would be a massive test for me now. So, I don't know what her family see and other than a small number of posts on here daily, for all we know she could ask them a few things and that's it.
If they know she is struggling, they need to be encouraging her to seek help. Beyond that, there is nothing they can do other than trying to stop engaging with her anxiety in a negative fashion.
I feel we end up filling in too many blanks. One guy on here recently told me he doesn't tell his family about his anxiety and they believe all is well. I rarely ever talk to my family or GF about mine these days, I don't want to burden them with my problems - that's what this place is for and the walk-in groups I went too. Whilst people want to help, I don't want them made unhappy by my problems as it makes me feel like a burden.
So, I'm not going to assume on the work or family point. I've concealed many things myself over the years.
I agree, life is more important than work. Ten years ago my attitude was the opposite of this. Anxiety was my downfall and learned a very hard lesson about a lack of life balance. The culture in my work was "work, work, work," and everything "now, now, now". My GF stills works in these areas and is stuck in the same mind-set I was. I've basically listened to my dad and worked on adopting his wisdom about such things. Now when my GF is putting her life on hold for her employer I say "if you don't do this, who will be harmed? Who will die? Do you work in an emergency service, the military, national security, the police, etc? No? Well then all that happens is some director gets the hump because his latest toy isn't ready on time. Big deal. Maybe some money is lost. That isn't more important than your health".
Rat race thinking. I was my own work enemy working in an environment where working 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, would still not be enough for my employer or the work. Part of the shift needs to be recognising you are never that important.
There can be an unfortunate outcome of telling your boss such things though. You may have to accept the blacklist that comes with it. If you work in a good environment though, this shouldn't be an issue. But without understanding the situation, I'm wary of making assumptions about it at the moment. Her boss could be an utter arse who will look for the constructive dismissal route some do with people who aren't easy to manage or have health problems, I've seen managers around me bragging about doing just that.
I just hope she listens to you though and what ServerError said about this earlier. If she is struggling, it may need a decision on whether to put work back and have some distance in a relationship or just put up with it all (and the responses from the frustrated in places like this). If she is struggling, she could end up forced to make a difficult decision. My employer wouldn't make reasonable adjustments, as agreed with their occupational health team they brought in, I spent 18 months at the cost of my anxiety winning at appeals and grievance hearings for them to refuse to do what was agreed again. I was faced with a choice of bringing in a solicitor or preserving my health and walking away. I chose to walk away. I hope she doesn't reach a point like that, they made me so much worse, and it was constructive on their part but that's very hard to ever prove and would have meant a more legal action.
Anyway, that's my story telling mode off. :noangel:
I understand about your "half arsed" point, you are being direct as you tend to be. You know it's not my style of posting hence making the point about general perception but I know what you mean. Outside of this forum I would often expect something more direct and I would likely return it in a more direct fashion as opposed to discussing it to understand someone.
---------- Post added at 16:47 ---------- Previous post was at 16:46 ----------
That was what I was kind of saying anyway Terry....I think. And no point in taking over a whole thread again debating it so i'll leave my thoughts at that.
Cath ☺
:yesyes: Fair enough.
If I was going to be a touch cynical by saying this poster maybe likes to pop up when she's bored just to wind you up Gary, then she's succeeding because she knows the response she's going to get from you and others. Sometimes I imagine she's saying to her boyfriend, "hey look at this, ive kicked them all off again"! But of course, that's only if i'm being cynical.
The trouble is that there will always be someone new around who doesn't know or read the back threads, and will take a thread at face value, so people like Helen will always get the attention they crave. It will just keep going around again and again, I've learned that to my cost so although I read this kind of thread, I've stopped responding to them...apart from this response of course :)
ISB
Exactly.
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