Bonnibelle
20-12-16, 17:20
I posted yesterday http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=192196 so I won't repeat myself too much, hopefully but generally I'm feeling awfull. Every December this hits and I feel like I breakdown. I never thought this could happen again as I was doing amazingly well. I've been ill physically with an underactive thyroid this year but things were improving and I felt so well anxiety wise then 4 weeks ago I had a 28 hour panic attack, it eventually calmed but since I've not felt right with low level simmering anxiety with the odd anxiety attack. So unlike me. I usually have worries but it's been really physical attacks in I'm feeling weak, constantly off my food and some days bad nausea other days attacks churning heavy stomach, general ill feeling all over like I'm weak and giddy in head walking. Then rushes of dread in my stomach and doom feeling. Unlike me and very worrying.
I was attacked 4 years ago by my brother and my family turned on me as I wouldn't forgive him so I had 2 very hard years afterwards and Christmas time they'd lash out hence why I find December tough and no matter how well I'm doing this hits me. I'm devastated and worried I'm going to feel this bad Christmas day. I'm terrified to have visitors while I'm like this as my social anxiety has flared up badly and even more so since feeling this anxious. My dad wants to visit tomorrow and my mum Saturday. Which is hard as my mum and I aren't close at all, she's not supported me but I do it for the children as I have 3 who love their nan.
The thing I've realised today is even if I didn't do these visits and hubby suggestion of him going to them wouldn't make me feel any better. So it's not even the pressure of visitors if I'd continue to feel this unwell. I feel the constant churning dread in my stomach and rushes of adrenaline, weak, woozy head, and just generally blurgh and low because I'm afraid I won't perk up for Christmas. I feel I'm letting my babies down. I feel too weak to go out and about so it's just Christmas movies and things at home. They're fine and happy as they're all teens or pre teens lol!
It's just not like me to feel this bad other than when I was at my worst 2 years ago so it's overwhelming. My husband still thinks it's the time of year as he sees me like this every December he said. I'm anxious it's my health causing my symptoms.as I don't have the typical shakes, fast heart, tight throat symptoms it's more what I've described above. So that worry can I trust this is anxiety? What if I need to see my gp etc.... my husband said there's no point as he will say it's anxiety and low mood again as it's the time of year it hits for me. I was doing so well so I don't know why it would hit again.
I'm trying to implement Claire weekes acceptance. Accept I feel weak, churning stomach, off my food, giddy and generally yuk but I can't seem to as im so worried what if it's not anxiety etc..... it's horrible. Can anyone give me some advice. Right now I feel I've nowhere to turn, I've only got my husband and my friend who lives an hour away and I'm trying not to put on her.
Sorry if I've repeated myself.
B x
I was attacked 4 years ago by my brother and my family turned on me as I wouldn't forgive him so I had 2 very hard years afterwards and Christmas time they'd lash out hence why I find December tough and no matter how well I'm doing this hits me. I'm devastated and worried I'm going to feel this bad Christmas day. I'm terrified to have visitors while I'm like this as my social anxiety has flared up badly and even more so since feeling this anxious. My dad wants to visit tomorrow and my mum Saturday. Which is hard as my mum and I aren't close at all, she's not supported me but I do it for the children as I have 3 who love their nan.
The thing I've realised today is even if I didn't do these visits and hubby suggestion of him going to them wouldn't make me feel any better. So it's not even the pressure of visitors if I'd continue to feel this unwell. I feel the constant churning dread in my stomach and rushes of adrenaline, weak, woozy head, and just generally blurgh and low because I'm afraid I won't perk up for Christmas. I feel I'm letting my babies down. I feel too weak to go out and about so it's just Christmas movies and things at home. They're fine and happy as they're all teens or pre teens lol!
It's just not like me to feel this bad other than when I was at my worst 2 years ago so it's overwhelming. My husband still thinks it's the time of year as he sees me like this every December he said. I'm anxious it's my health causing my symptoms.as I don't have the typical shakes, fast heart, tight throat symptoms it's more what I've described above. So that worry can I trust this is anxiety? What if I need to see my gp etc.... my husband said there's no point as he will say it's anxiety and low mood again as it's the time of year it hits for me. I was doing so well so I don't know why it would hit again.
I'm trying to implement Claire weekes acceptance. Accept I feel weak, churning stomach, off my food, giddy and generally yuk but I can't seem to as im so worried what if it's not anxiety etc..... it's horrible. Can anyone give me some advice. Right now I feel I've nowhere to turn, I've only got my husband and my friend who lives an hour away and I'm trying not to put on her.
Sorry if I've repeated myself.
B x