Feeling dreadful

[Aimee1875]

I suppose this isn't really health anxiety in a way but it kind of is as well. Recently I've been at my lowest. My manager at work basically told me if I don't up my game I'm finished in January. I'm contracted until April so I'm still temporary,but it was over something stupid like talking and I'm 10000% not the only one who talks,especially in retail. I've also been really sick at the moment,my headache are beyond belief,blocked nose and ears which I can barely hear out of and just feeling awful. I was in work tonight and didn't feel well at all and kept getting asked to move heavy rails etc and put them in lifts and so on. I agreed but I have a fear of lifts and then the manager(not the same one as mine but is above mine) just asked someone else and they said they'd do it. Now I feel it makes me look bad and she's going to tell my manager who is not going to be happy about it. She came back down and i apologised and she was completely fine with it,telling me to relax tomorrow on my day off etc but I'm terrified of losing my job:( my headaches are constant and I have an overwhelming fear constantly of doing something wrong. Having painful earaches and not being able to hear out of them properly is worrying me too and just feeling ill is not helping my job at all. I'm sorry to vent but I have nowhere else to go:(

[cattia]

Sorry to hear that you had a bad time at work. It's hard when you have anxiety as things get to you more. Do your employers know about your anxiety? If so, then they do have a duty of care to support you. Your manager doesn't sound that nice. Surely you are allowed to talk to people on your shift as long as you're getting the work done?

[Aimee1875]

Exactly! But it's okay when they stand about for an hour chatting but as soon as you're seen talking to someone about something work related and someone sees you are in trouble! No they don't know,but I feel like it gets worse when I'm there just because I'm scared of doing things wrong or manager needing a word with me. Today's my day off and I'm just so worried about losing my job and things going wrong that I think my body is just so drained and confused at what's going on and needs a rest. Ahh I don't know what to do:weep:

[Aimee1875]

I've been really poorly lately. On antibiotics for a throat infection which doesn't seem to get better yet I'm still in work on time everyday. Today was due for my break at half 6 so went up the stairs probably a few mins early to be fair and has my break with another girl in my department. This manager kept coming and looking at us,who only went and told other managers who pulled us in for basically 'time theft' (lol) as we were sat for an extra 5 mins or something. Well I'm sorry but everyone else blooming does it and folk who think it's okay to take 45 mins when entitled to 30 never get in trouble. All this stress is causing me nose bleeds,I feel sick constantly and have been panicking at night,everything going on in my head over and over again and I can't sleep,thinking about getting sacked and should I start applying for new jobs etc as I'll end up getting sacked soon. I feel like I'm getting picked on all the time at work,if I step a foot wrong or speak then I'll get in trouble. It's not fair!
Also forgot to add that I've had to miss my doses of antibiotics due to obviously feeling like I'm not allowed up the stairs to get them as it's seen as skiving or something. Really getting down about it now and don't know how to explain to my manager.

[Bree0817]

Im not sure of your situation or if its possible for you to find another job but if it is then please look into that. It sounds as if your job is making you sick and depressed. Your health should always come first even though I know you need to make ends meet. Im not sure what to say about your manager, some managers are just jerks like that. I wish you the best and I hope you can figure this situation out

[swajj]

Can't you take your antibiotics in your break times? It isn't as if they have to be taken every hour on the hour. What does your doctor say is causing your headaches etc?

[Aimee1875]

I'm considering a new job as I feel this isn't doing me any favours anymore. My antibiotics need to be taken on an empty stomach 4 times a day,so in the morning is fine but once I'm at work I have to figure out my breaks and when I'll be eating etc so when I'm getting pulled in for basically going upstairs when I shouldn't be it makes me miss them because I feel like I'm doing something wrong going upstairs to get them. Im due in in less than 3 hours and just dreading it,I'm so drained now I just need away from the stress of it!