WORRIED SICK- 2 lymph nodes in neck. Convinced it's cancer.

[Mav]

Okay for the past 2 days, I can't eat. I've lost my appetite. I'm worried sick.

I've been having on and off ear aches for 2 weeks. One ear, then the other and waking up with headaches but it's been minor. It's worse when I go out in the cold.

Anyway, a couple of days ago I felt my neck and I may have aggravated one side but it's swollen up and it feels like a large node and when I twist my head I can see it bulge. It's large, I can move it up and down and it is squidgy. Feels fixed on the muscle and it does feel firm too.

Anyway it feels like it got rapidly large over the past 2-3 days which terrifies me.

I was feeling my neck last night and right when my neck meets my collar bone on that side I found a tiny little hard pea, but extremely moveable (slips right under my fingers).

I'm going doctors first thing in the morning but I'm so scared.

I have no signs of an ear infection today, I feel no pain although I did yesterday.

I just feel like I know it's lymphoma or something else sinister, I'm just hoping I'm at a good stage when they diagnose me. I am so scared. Both nodes are on the same side. :weep::weep::weep::weep::weep::weep::weep::weep:

[Fishmanpa]

Why not continue on your previous thread?

You'll get professional reassurance when you see your doctor. I'm quite sure I'll owe you a "Told ya so" :D

BTW... How did the interview go?

Positive thoughts

[Mav]

Why not continue on your previous thread?

You'll get professional reassurance when you see your doctor. I'm quite sure I'll owe you a "Told ya so" :D

Positive thoughts

:( You're very kind and helpful but I don't believe it's nothing. I'm very scared :(I've had a persistent rash on my wrist for 6 months. If it was nothing then why would I still have that?

I hope its nothing, I hope it's nothing more than anything in the world! But I'm convinced it's not. The large node doesn't hurt :( But when I lightly touched it this morning it was a little bit tender and hurt my ear a little and I can't stop hoping that is because of some type of ear infection. :weep:

---------- Post added at 13:07 ---------- Previous post was at 13:03 ----------

Interview went well thank you, she said she would call me and let me know. I pasted on a smile and pretended nothing was wrong. I'm quite proud of myself for that, but I came home and cried my eyes out.

---------- Post added at 15:48 ---------- Previous post was at 13:07 ----------

I feel like it might help just writing out my thoughts here as it is the nature of this website and I think my family and friends would thank me for it since it means I'm not constantly annoying them.

The reason my fears are enhanced is because I thought I felt a node in my armpit 6 months ago, but I got checked out and doc and breast doc told me I was fine. That lump eventually went (5 months later..)

This is a little more frightening as its in my neck and it definitely feels sinister to me. I'm upset it's come at a time like this because it's my birthday on Saturday and Christmas Day the next day (happiest time of the year :().

Everyone keeps telling me to calm down and I understand I need too, but having a 6 month fear and then suddenly nodes enlarging in this way, it's honestly traumatic.

I'm trying to live in the moment and hope for the best but it's scary and I can't stop imagining the letter from the doc telling me my nodes are positive, I can't stop imagining the hair loss and sickness from chemotherapy, I can't stop imagining having to fight for my life and it turns my stomach, it's like my mind is plagued with dark thoughts. I can't stop imagining me not making it to next christmas or the node growing out of my neck and becoming golfball sized.

I've had health anxiety for a while but it has never been this bad but I've never had a reason for it to be this bad.

My neck was okay until I started poking around and now it's all swollen in that area an I'm hoping that is why the area got swollen up :( I didn't have this a few weeks ago or atleast j couldn't feel it.

My stomach turns at all these thoughts and I just wish they would stop.

[nivekc251]

I had this fear 3 years ago. I have 2 nodes on the left side of my neck about 1cm . I freaked out went to multiple doctors they all did blood work touched them and told me I was ok. I didnt believe them until I had 2 people in my life get lymphoma. I then realized this fear is silly. These people had nodes visibly swollen. You didn't have to feel for them because u could see them. They are both cancer free one had stage4 and the other stage 2. Stop trying to find things because your anxious mind will. Stop molesting your nodes leave them be and let them do their job .

---------- Post added at 10:46 ---------- Previous post was at 10:44 ----------

I had the same images in my head. Having these huge golf ball nodes. These are just thoughts don't dwell on them just let them go. Like that annoying kids movie Frozen. Let it go

[Fishmanpa]

I then realized this fear is silly. These people had nodes visibly swollen. You didn't have to feel for them because u could see them. .

Exactly! When I had my cancer, you could clearly see the nodes in my neck. By the time I was diagnosed and went for surgery, it looked like I had the mumps on the left side of my neck.

Cancer in an uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells. It doesn't come and go nor does it stop once it starts.

Positive thoughts

[Mav]

I had this fear 3 years ago. I have 2 nodes on the left side of my neck about 1cm . I freaked out went to multiple doctors they all did blood work touched them and told me I was ok. I didnt believe them until I had 2 people in my life get lymphoma. I then realized this fear is silly. These people had nodes visibly swollen. You didn't have to feel for them because u could see them. They are both cancer free one had stage4 and the other stage 2. Stop trying to find things because your anxious mind will. Stop molesting your nodes leave them be and let them do their job .

---------- Post added at 10:46 ---------- Previous post was at 10:44 ----------

I had the same images in my head. Having these huge golf ball nodes. These are just thoughts don't dwell on them just let them go. Like that annoying kids movie Frozen. Let it go

You can see it when I twist my head and that really scares me :(

You couldn't see them before, I think I made it swell.

I know someone who was diagnosed with lymphoma earlier this year and a few months before that my grandma died of a blood cancer. I think all that affected me more than I realised and now this fear won't go away.

---------- Post added at 17:31 ---------- Previous post was at 17:12 ----------

Oh god I just read something about an itchy scalp linking to something serious. UGHHHH well that terrified me more than anything.

Such an anxious horrible mess right now. Absolutely terrified.

[Mav]

Couldn't get an appointment today, so upset. Hopefully I can get one asap.

I can't stop worrying. Feel absolutely sick to my stomach.

[Mav]

I actually need a filling and have needed one for 6 months or so. My molar hurts (right side, same side with lump) when pressed on and has black markings. The area around the swelling hurts my ear a little when pressed on.

:-/ I'm confused but hoping a simple dental problem is causing all of this, I can only hope it's something as minor.

Praying a lot in hopes of a simple solution to all of this.

[Mav]

Starting to wonder if this might be knotted muscles or something, I hope so anyway. It's not a clearly defined lump by any means.