My second worry, worse than the first one...

[whoevenami]

Hi community, dumb old me again. So in my last post (which was yesterday) I talked about how I feared I was a pedophile and feared arrest for things I'd seen on the internet when I was younger. I got many encouraging replies which really helped with clearing up a lot of the anxiety, however, besides the topic yesterday, I also have a bigger concern linked to pedophilia. I get some really terrible images in my head. Before I go on my huge rant, I'm just going to apologise, nobody wants to hear the same guy going on and on about his issues, and I'm aware of that, so I'm sorry for being selfish about this. I'd also like to note that there's a trigger warning in here as well, so for sensitive viewers, please don't cause yourself anxiety by reading this, you're more important!
So yeah, quite a few of you have read about my POCD issues about cartoon pornography I've seen in the past (which depicted young girls), it really caused me issues as you can tell, but a larger worry is the images that I get in my head now. Initially, the worry in my other post was the only thing that affected me, I was worried that I was a pedophile for the things I'd seen. But now, I cannot look at little girls without getting terrible images in my head.
(Trigger warning round here, please look away as I don't want to cause anyone anxiety over this) Images with little girls in the positions that I would have seen in the cartoons would pop into my head, however the little girls would be real, moreover they would be the girls I'd seen whilst looking around in public (the girls faces). Initially when I received these thoughts, I would scrunch up my toes, or cringe, maybe close my eyes and shake my head in reaction to the thoughts, of course they're not right, and I don't want them to be there.
However, I'm really anxious that now when I receive the thoughts, I feel a tingly sensation down there, and what's worse is that when that happens I don't feel the need to scrunch up my toes or react. I've read about groinal response many many times and I have tried convincing myself that it's only that, an aspect of OCD, but sometimes the thoughts can be seriously graphic and disturbing, and I still feel this sense of arousal. I'd like to note that I've never gone any further with the thoughts (never tried to 'you know what' to them), but I'm worried that I will at some point, which would therefore deem me a pedophile. I attempt to imagine myself actually doing these things to a little girl (it sounds terrible now that I'm typing it) in order to check if I get this feeling through that, but by then I'd have backed out of the thoughts, attempting to tell myself that what I'm thinking is wrong (which I know it is).
I'm really stuck here (once again), there's so many thoughts going through my head, and many of them are disgusting, but if I find them so disgusting, then why don't I react to them like I used to? As I type this, I'm shaking slightly, but why would I be shaking now instead of before when the thoughts popped up into my head? Once again, I'm so sorry for being selfish about my issues and everything, I know that others have it a lot worse than I do, and I'm no more important than anyone else, but I really am convinced that I'm a pedophile now.

[Kuatir]

You really need to talk this out with a therapist, I think. It's a very sensitive issue.

Try not to test yourself. When you have an intrusive thought you should accept it as one and then move on, let it pass.

[whoevenami]

I'm trying to persuade my parents to organise me a session with a councillor about the issue as a whole, I really don't know what to do though I feel like such a sicko.

[brucealmighty]

if you are becoming aroused to any degree when thinking of sex acts with little girls then I`d get some professional help rather than try to sort it out on your own. I`m not judging you but I`d go and talk to someone sooner rather than later.

[whoevenami]

Does this mean I'm possibly a pedophile then? I'm really praying it's groinal response as I feel no sexual attraction to youngsters but there's always that feeling, I don't know what it is.

[brucealmighty]

I don`t know one way or the other, I know very little about OCD and even less about paedophiles. gut feeling is its better to talk through your thoughts and urges than let them build into something thats going to cause problems in future.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I'm in a rush so for now have a read through this thread as it addresses most of what you have said:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=163847&highlight=POCD

The images, the "testing" compulsions, the groinal responses, etc. And no, mastibation to intrusive thoughts does not make you a paedophile, it is a medically documented scenario to prove relief which makes the sufferer feel even worse (guilt, shame, reinforcement of fears, etc).

Paedophilia is very different, it's not based on compulsions to reduce fear, it's based on reward. The medical definitions by WHO are very different, they are in different categories due to the different drives involved.

Whilst this is a sensitive subject, this has been discussed many times since I've been here and Admin have never had an issue with it. The same with violence themes. There should be no issue, it's a well known OCD theme, but it's only well known to those of us who have spent time reading about it so it may seem sensitive to those who haven't. But seeing a therapist to tackle the OCD is always a good suggestion.

It may be beyond on the scope of some here but that just means they haven't spent much time on the OCD board or in OCD circles where it is common. A search on this board alone will turn this up. You have have as much right to discuss this on here add any other anxiety issue.

[whoevenami]

Yep, I don't think I'd ever do it as it's a terrible thing to do but these thoughts just have to be explained, be it paedophilia or OCD (praying to god it's OCD as I want a family with kids when I'm older, I'd never want to do anything to them).

---------- Post added at 16:26 ---------- Previous post was at 16:23 ----------

MyNameIsTerry,
Thank you so much, I'm glad you know your way around this and I'm sorry once again for being selfish about my issues and stuff (this is directed at everyone who commented and helped). I'll definitely make sure to read through the thread, thank you so much for the guidance.

[MyNameIsTerry]

No problem, it's what we are here for, to support each other.

I will have more time for this later, I'm just going out, but with that being a big thread if you want to get some quicker answers I highly recommend Steve Seay's articles. He is a licensed psychologist who treats OCD in the US, including this theme, and I found his articles explained a lot for me. I don't think he mentions the groinal responses, I can't remember, but that is documented and why it's actually outside of our control in terms of it being triggered. More on that later.

[whoevenami]

Will definitely have a look, I really do owe you big time, thanks a lot for the help on the issue, I just don't want to be experiencing this anymore and really want to know what it is so that I can tackle it.

[Bigboyuk]

Seriously your parents are very supportive so urge them to seek professional help my friend as there is help out there :)

[whoevenami]

Thank you so much, they truly are so im going to urge them to call out for a therapist. Thanks for not seeing me as a freak :)

[Bigboyuk]

Thank you so much, they truly are so im going to urge them to call out for a therapist. Thanks for not seeing me as a freak :) You are welcome :)

[Bigboyuk]

How you feeling today?

[whoevenami]

Thanks for checking up on me, means a lot. Not really sure, I have butterflies in my stomach (idk why I feel anxious for no reason). No intrusive thoughts yet and no 'groinal response' down there. I'm just hoping nothing happens as I'm meeting up with my girlfriend later. Thanks a lot for checking though pal :)

[MyNameIsTerry]

So yeah, quite a few of you have read about my POCD issues about cartoon pornography I've seen in the past (which depicted young girls), it really caused me issues as you can tell, but a larger worry is the images that I get in my head now. Initially, the worry in my other post was the only thing that affected me, I was worried that I was a pedophile for the things I'd seen. But now, I cannot look at little girls without getting terrible images in my head..

That's probably because you have built a fear around it and your subconscious will look to make associations, which is a normal part of how the mind learns things. The problem is, it is making some incorrect associations.

Guess how it will learn to reinforce this belief about looking at young girls being a fear you are "becoming" the monster you fear? By reacting with a negative response to the intrusive thoughts; fear, disgust, revulsion, guilt, panic, anxiety, obsessive self analysis/questioning, etc.

How do you stop it? You have to change what has got into your subconscious. This can be achieved in therapy through traditional methods like CBT where you aim to label the thought as a thought, change your reaction to one that challenges the thought i.e. the evidence for & against my thought is X, Y or Z and framing it. This is a positive/neutral reaction. Or you can try acceptance-based methods, including therapy such as ACT or Mindfulness-based work, which aims to get you to accept a thought as a thought and to sit with the thought as an observer without reacting to it. This is a neutral reaction.

Positive/neutral reaction cannot be seen by the part of the brain in the fear cycle that looks out for the feedback from the conscious mind. It is built on fear response only. It's built to see a see a bear, tell you to be scared, you react by running like hell or shoving a spear in it then eating it and making a nice coat out of it! At no point was the fear cycle made to think "oh, what a lovely bear". This means changing these fears takes longer than to build them as the fear cycle is meant to build quickly to keep us alive.


(Trigger warning round here, please look away as I don't want to cause anyone anxiety over this) Images with little girls in the positions that I would have seen in the cartoons would pop into my head, however the little girls would be real, moreover they would be the girls I'd seen whilst looking around in public (the girls faces). Initially when I received these thoughts, I would scrunch up my toes, or cringe, maybe close my eyes and shake my head in reaction to the thoughts, of course they're not right, and I don't want them to be there. .

This is just the association issue. It is trying to learn to expand the fear and the beliefs. But you have much deeper beliefs which are linked to your identity which tell you what us right or wrong. That's why you are reacting with fear responses rather than a paedophile who enjoys the thoughts and seeks to engage in them in fantasy and potentially in real life as they escalate.

How can it show you pictures in your mind of the real girls? It can only work from memory so it's anything you've seen on TV or in real life. These thoughts seek to provoke the greatest fear response to reinforce themselves and so a real girl is so much scarier than an actress who is inaccessible.

You react to your trigger thoughts with physical symptoms like scrunching your toes. This reinforces it all as you are reacting with that negative fear as explained above.


However, I'm really anxious that now when I receive the thoughts, I feel a tingly sensation down there, and what's worse is that when that happens I don't feel the need to scrunch up my toes or react. I've read about groinal response many many times and I have tried convincing myself that it's only that, an aspect of OCD, but sometimes the thoughts can be seriously graphic and disturbing, and I still feel this sense of arousal. I'd like to note that I've never gone any further with the thoughts (never tried to 'you know what' to them), but I'm worried that I will at some point, which would therefore deem me a pedophile.

Symptoms change. Groinal response is a bigger response than the scrunching and it will cause more fear from you. Bigger symptoms have a habit of overwhelming the smaller ones because they become the focus.

As to this, I've never gone any further with the thoughts (never tried to 'you know what' to them) you need to know that mastibation is a recorded part of this in OCD where a sufferer is attempting to relieve the tension it causes because mastibation will cause the natural bodily process to make it go away (certainly for men, we are done for a while afterwards :blush:) but it just gets replaced with guilt, revulsion, further labelling and questioning, etc. If it happens, it's doesn't mean paedophilia - remember it's about the drives involved, the behaviours, and mastibation is seen in both but for different reasons.


I attempt to imagine myself actually doing these things to a little girl (it sounds terrible now that I'm typing it) in order to check if I get this feeling through that, but by then I'd have backed out of the thoughts, attempting to tell myself that what I'm thinking is wrong (which I know it is).

This is the classic checking compulsion that causes further triggers. It gets the cycle going again. But is has some other issues with it - response is not always the same, not always as expected.

This thread will likely explain how reactions change or how you need to be careful how you interpret them:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=184847

I'm really stuck here (once again), there's so many thoughts going through my head, and many of them are disgusting, but if I find them so disgusting, then why don't I react to them like I used to? As I type this, I'm shaking slightly, but why would I be shaking now instead of before when the thoughts popped up into my head? Once again, I'm so sorry for being selfish about my issues and everything, I know that others have it a lot worse than I do, and I'm no more important than anyone else, but I really am convinced that I'm a pedophile now.[/QUOTE]

See the above thread link.

And you are getting upset now because you have wound yourself up about what it all means. Think about it outside of your scenario, if I have a fear of conflict and get into one, my body may react with fear but I may react with fear or act to protect myself by fighting back. What I have found is that sometimes you react to protect yourself and then spend the hours afterwards panicking about what "could" have happened. Is that so different to what you are asking here?

Also, have a look at this which explains the OCD cycle:

http://psychology.tools/cognitive-model-of-ocd.html

If you fill that worksheet in, can you see where you are adding to it with behaviours/compulsions?

Something you may also experience in this theme is the need to flee from a trigger person. You may find yourself worrying about being around children and especially loved ones as they would mean something more to you, you may find yourself not wanting to go to places where they are, etc. This is all avoidance and it reinforces the purpose of your fear being there. Try not to allow this to happen, if you can.

---------- Post added at 12:46 ---------- Previous post was at 12:42 ----------


Seriously your parents are very supportive so urge them to seek professional help my friend as there is help out there :)

That's really good to hear. This is a tricky thing to discuss with parents, porn alone is a taboo in that scenario.

What I would say is also think about their knowledge. Are they educated on the differences between OCD and paedophilia, and do they understand about the existence & behaviours in POCD?

It's obvious most of us won't, I know I had no knowledge of the existence of POCD when I started out with OCD. Even some doctors and therapists display a lack of knowledge of it at times. So, we can't expect our loved ones to automatically be aware of such things and whilst they know us very well, it's bound to bring up some strange thoughts for them as they won't know what to think.

This is where knowledge comes in handy. Sufferers are one thing, they will help them understand this is more common than they realise and the other things talking to sufferers helps with BUT there is no substitute to an outsider in these circumstances than medical literature saying "it's not X, it's definitely Y" or them sitting talking to a doctor saying that. To most people, a doctor is where they go for anything medical so they automatically trust & respect them.

[whoevenami]

I'm so grateful for everything you've done right there, seriously you're definitely an OCD hero, I guess it'll take me a couple more times to understand it all but once I get a grip of what it is I think I should be able to deal with it. I definitely have the fear of being around youngsters, especially family members who are young girls, as I'm scared that I might start thinking all these things and seeing the images, but I guess at the end of the day that's just me associating thins with the wrong image causing me to panic.
You've done so much for me here, and I'll make sure I speak up again if I get anymore spikes like this, it's so great knowing I have people like you to talk to. Thank you so much, I'll try not to over think things in future.

[Bigboyuk]

Another way of putting it is say you have a water leak in your house what do you do you don't let it overwhelm you, you find the stop tap before its floods the house LOL Does this make sense to you? And once again m8 its fine! Stay strong :)

[MyNameIsTerry]

I'm so grateful for everything you've done right there, seriously you're definitely an OCD hero, I guess it'll take me a couple more times to understand it all but once I get a grip of what it is I think I should be able to deal with it. I definitely have the fear of being around youngsters, especially family members who are young girls, as I'm scared that I might start thinking all these things and seeing the images, but I guess at the end of the day that's just me associating thins with the wrong image causing me to panic.
You've done so much for me here, and I'll make sure I speak up again if I get anymore spikes like this, it's so great knowing I have people like you to talk to. Thank you so much, I'll try not to over think things in future.

I remember going through all the weird & wonderful thoughts & complications of my own OCD. You'll find we all pass on what we've learnt to help new members.

Have a look at this taken from one of Steve Seay's articles:

Much like sexual obsessions, violent obsessions can be a debilitating symptom of OCD because they can “pop in” at any time and in any place. They are sometimes associated with the presence of triggers like particular people (e.g., loved ones) or vulnerable populations (e.g., fear of children or the elderly), but they may also occur with strangers. Even particular emotions, such as anger, may trigger harm OCD obsessions. See my post on the relationship between OCD and anger for further discussion of anger and OCD. In other cases, violent obsessions may seemingly emerge out of the blue with little provocation or warning. They can even occur when you’re alone or in the absence of an easily identifiable external trigger.

Because of this, many people with violent obsessions begin avoiding people they care about. They may also become fearful of being alone or being bored and may go to great lengths to keep themselves busy, because their unwanted thoughts may frequently occur during periods of downtime or relaxation. Consequently, many individuals with harm obsessions feel that they can never really relax. They become masters at distraction and often dread bedtime when they are alone with their thoughts.

Just like why people hide knives, clean obsessively to prevent harm to others (as a compulsion to harm-based intrusive thoughts), they avoid someone they think they could harm.

So, you understand some of it's tricks. Understanding these themes can help take the sting out them and help you to beat them.

[whoevenami]

MyNameIsTerry,
They're harrowingly similar to POCD in some aspects, the tricks that is. That's really strange! I really feel like I understand it now though, thanks to you and some other people. I guess I'm glad I'm a way that others are aware of what the experience is like and how to deal with it, I really just have to buckle down and punch it in the face now don't I? Time to stop associating it with stupid things.

---------- Post added at 19:16 ---------- Previous post was at 19:15 ----------

Bigboyuk,
Yep, I get it:) hopefully I'll be able to 'stop the tap' for my POCD, I'm not gunna let it overwhelm me. Thanks a lot you've really helped me out!

[Fishmanpa]

hopefully I'll be able to 'stop the tap' for my POCD,

You've taken what you've read here and elsewhere and diagnosed yourself with POCD? While indeed it's possible, you're a 16 year old boy and only a professional mental health professional can determine a diagnosis and prescribe treatment. It appears you have real life support with your parents. Please pursue that aspect and seek professional help in addressing your concerns.

The forum is great in that you're not alone in your struggles with your thoughts but it's not a replacement for real life help and in fact can be detrimental in that it feeds the very thing you're trying to address.

Good luck and as always...

Positive thoughts

[brucealmighty]

I find it worrying in the extreme that younger members can take the word of more senior players as being gospel, its vital that you seek professional advice on this matter.
as a parent I have to say honestly here that someone finding young children arousing in any shape, way or form is something that needs qualified assistance and guidance, not just the approval of a forum member, however knowledgeable they may sound.
it could be ocd, it could be something else, no one on here is qualified to say its nothing to worry about.
you haven`t acted on your urges which is a good thing, no arguments there, but I would 100% go and get some formal help for what you`re going through.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I find it worrying in the extreme that younger members can take the word of more senior players as being gospel, its vital that you seek professional advice on this matter.
as a parent I have to say honestly here that someone finding young children arousing in any shape, way or form is something that needs qualified assistance and guidance, not just the approval of a forum member, however knowledgeable they may sound.
it could be ocd, it could be something else, no one on here is qualified to say its nothing to worry about.
you haven`t acted on your urges which is a good thing, no arguments there, but I would 100% go and get some formal help for what you`re going through.

You are aware that what I've said comes from OCD specialists? See the links. They state this is NOT paedophilia and it is OCD. Are you aware of the number of people on here who have discussed this considering you keep admitting to not knowing about it?

Please be careful with this subject. It's a given that he needs to talk to a medical professional to work through his anxiety, it's been said across the threads. It's not about me saying anything, the information supplied says it far better.

Ignorance in this area is why POCD sufferers don't come forward even to their doctors for years. Until you read about themes like this, people can assume out of ignorance that sexual reaction alone means paedophilia but no medical professionals say that, they are very clear about the OCD behaviour and the OP is demonstrating that in a classic way.

I find it worrying that people don't educate themselves about the subject they are trying to discuss and slip in doubts based on ignorance. Feel free to raise it with Admin if you wish but we've been saying to speak to his parents and get help so I fail to see the issue here?

This isn't about forum members diagnosing, it's discussion & sign posting. Other than explaining it, providing credible sources and discussing possibilities we wouldn't otherwise be able to discuss much of anything in the OCD board. This is all very common on here.

POCD is not a medical term, it's a sufferer's term. OCD comesin several forms as far as the medical world go. A professional may probe further to find other areas to address which will sort the OCD out rather than tackle an element which leaves it to jump to another theme, which happens to many people.

Considering a whole load of us across this website saying what something is likely to be or not be, I'm finding it a bit strange that only this thread is an issue. I take it you will be posting on all the others too?

[brucealmighty]

you seem very keen to tell me how to behave terry, what threads to respond to, and how I should take someone's opinion as gospel. instead of trying your bully boy tactics on me and failing yet again, why don't you have a closer look at your own reasons for jumping to the defence of complete strangers who have put on a public forum that they feel aroused near small children.
I am entitled to post and respond politely within forum rules on any thread I like, and you can stamp your feet and throw your toys as much as you want, you have no power over me. let that sink in before you make any more broad brush statements.
you were doing well for a while in not targeting people on here, now you're back to pretending you're some infallible force. do stop it.
it's definitely not paedophilia then. I'm glad about that. and masturbating about your thoughts and fantasies of small children is purely a release and nothing to worry about?
enabling people is one thing but you've surpassed yourself this time.
you have ocd and no children. I don't, and do. which is why we disagree. let's leave it there.

[Bigboyuk]

I find it worrying in the extreme that younger members can take the word of more senior players as being gospel, its vital that you seek professional advice on this matter.
as a parent I have to say honestly here that someone finding young children arousing in any shape, way or form is something that needs qualified assistance and guidance, not just the approval of a forum member, however knowledgeable they may sound.
it could be ocd, it could be something else, no one on here is qualified to say its nothing to worry about.
you haven`t acted on your urges which is a good thing, no arguments there, but I would 100% go and get some formal help for what you`re going through. Interesting point the thing is we all believe the OP should seek professional help with out a doubt and while it's a very sensitive thread Help is paramount on this for this young member on here! And AFAIK no one on here has given any indication that there is nothing to worry about!! Cheers

---------- Post added at 11:00 ---------- Previous post was at 09:41 ----------

Hmm not sure what to make of this but we have to stay civil for the OP's sake I have my own views on but realise this is a very serious/sensitive issue here We should all be trying to help this poster as much as we can. I haven't been here that long but this is one of the scariest topics I have come across that's for sure :) Cheers

[whoevenami]

you seem very keen to tell me how to behave terry, what threads to respond to, and how I should take someone's opinion as gospel. instead of trying your bully boy tactics on me and failing yet again, why don't you have a closer look at your own reasons for jumping to the defence of complete strangers who have put on a public forum that they feel aroused near small children.
I am entitled to post and respond politely within forum rules on any thread I like, and you can stamp your feet and throw your toys as much as you want, you have no power over me. let that sink in before you make any more broad brush statements.
you were doing well for a while in not targeting people on here, now you're back to pretending you're some infallible force. do stop it.
it's definitely not paedophilia then. I'm glad about that. and masturbating about your thoughts and fantasies of small children is purely a release and nothing to worry about?
enabling people is one thing but you've surpassed yourself this time.
you have ocd and no children. I don't, and do. which is why we disagree. let's leave it there.
Please don't argue with MyNameIsTerry, he's really helped out a lot. I know that in some ways you are correct, about how it's clearly not normal that I have the thoughts about kids and so on, be it POCD or not. However I'm just here to get advice from people on how to stop them man. I don't want these thoughts to be here, even though I do feel some form of response, but that could quite possibly be due to the fact that I'm 16, I started puberty at a young age (before most) and I've always thought of myself as a weird, messed up kid because of that.
I also know that I haven't gone to a professional to be diagnosed as well, and I could possibly be a pedophile who isn't even 16, but you really have to trust me. These thoughts and feelings have caused me to feel suicidal, as well as enducing symptoms like nausea and fatigue when in class at high school because of the things I'm seeing; I can't handle the things I'm seeing. From the way you described me "complete strangers who have put on a public forum that they feel aroused near small children" and other people experiencing what I have gone through, I kinda felt like you categorised us.
I know you're entitled to your opinion, and if your opinion on this is that all the people who have these thoughts about kids need professional help, then that is fine. But please don't talk about us and/or other members in a derogatory way like that, I know I sound like I'm seeking attention and stuff here but the way in which you described your view on it really did cause some strong disbelief in myself, seriously I had a huge anxiety spike as I thought you believed I was of a pedophilic nature.
Sorry I've kind of gone off on one, and I'm sorry for replying in somewhat of an aggressive manner. Tbh in order to sound more professional I actually used all the best vocab I could think of, my English classes really payed off it seems :) I also take your words to heart, I really do need help, but please can we stop with the aggression, the last thing I want to see is two nice people fighting because I have problems... Thank you.

---------- Post added at 11:59 ---------- Previous post was at 11:54 ----------


I find it worrying in the extreme that younger members can take the word of more senior players as being gospel, its vital that you seek professional advice on this matter.
as a parent I have to say honestly here that someone finding young children arousing in any shape, way or form is something that needs qualified assistance and guidance, not just the approval of a forum member, however knowledgeable they may sound.
it could be ocd, it could be something else, no one on here is qualified to say its nothing to worry about.
you haven`t acted on your urges which is a good thing, no arguments there, but I would 100% go and get some formal help for what you`re going through.
Forgot to say, I did take your first post to consideration, and I wanted to say thank you. I know this is messed up and you took it the way any person would if they had kids too. I'd never act on my thoughst though, rest assured, even if it was pedophilia, I'd rather die than do anything of that category to a child. So thank you, my parents have a booked a councilling sessions for after new year, so hopefully I'll be getting a diagnosis for everything.

[Bigboyuk]

Please don't argue with MyNameIsTerry, he's really helped out a lot. I know that in some ways you are correct, about how it's clearly not normal that I have the thoughts about kids and so on, be it POCD or not. However I'm just here to get advice from people on how to stop them man. I don't want these thoughts to be here, even though I do feel some form of response, but that could quite possibly be due to the fact that I'm 16, I started puberty at a young age (before most) and I've always thought of myself as a weird, messed up kid because of that.
I also know that I haven't gone to a professional to be diagnosed as well, and I could possibly be a pedophile who isn't even 16, but you really have to trust me. These thoughts and feelings have caused me to feel suicidal, as well as enducing symptoms like nausea and fatigue when in class at high school because of the things I'm seeing; I can't handle the things I'm seeing. From the way you described me "complete strangers who have put on a public forum that they feel aroused near small children" and other people experiencing what I have gone through, I kinda felt like you categorised us.
I know you're entitled to your opinion, and if your opinion on this is that all the people who have these thoughts about kids need professional help, then that is fine. But please don't talk about us and/or other members in a derogatory way like that, I know I sound like I'm seeking attention and stuff here but the way in which you described your view on it really did cause some strong disbelief in myself, seriously I had a huge anxiety spike as I thought you believed I was of a pedophilic nature.
Sorry I've kind of gone off on one, and I'm sorry for replying in somewhat of an aggressive manner. Tbh in order to sound more professional I actually used all the best vocab I could think of, my English classes really payed off it seems :) I also take your words to heart, I really do need help, but please can we stop with the aggression, the last thing I want to see is two nice people fighting because I have problems... Thank you.

---------- Post added at 11:59 ---------- Previous post was at 11:54 ----------


Forgot to say, I did take your first post to consideration, and I wanted to say thank you. I know this is messed up and you took it the way any person would if they had kids too. I'd never act on my thoughst though, rest assured, even if it was pedophilia, I'd rather die than do anything of that category to a child. So thank you, my parents have a booked a councilling sessions for after new year, so hopefully I'll be getting a diagnosis for everything. Hi
I don't think it was aggression as such believe you me if it was the mods would be on to it :) Your vocab is good for 16 too. The fact you recognise you need help is a very positive thing and we all respect you for this my friend :) Stay cool and let us know how you get on and we are all here for any further questions too!! Cheers

[whoevenami]

Bigboyuk,
Thanks for sticking with me through the whole of this man, I'm gladly going to consider you my friend at this point because you've really helped and supported me a lot no matter what I said. Thanks, it means a lot.:)

---------- Post added at 12:32 ---------- Previous post was at 12:22 ----------


You've taken what you've read here and elsewhere and diagnosed yourself with POCD? While indeed it's possible, you're a 16 year old boy and only a professional mental health professional can determine a diagnosis and prescribe treatment. It appears you have real life support with your parents. Please pursue that aspect and seek professional help in addressing your concerns.

The forum is great in that you're not alone in your struggles with your thoughts but it's not a replacement for real life help and in fact can be detrimental in that it feeds the very thing you're trying to address.

Good luck and as always...

Positive thoughts
Yeah I guess that is kinda irresponsible of me. I'm having councilling organised for after new year though and hopefully I'll be diagnosed with something. I just hope I get a good councillor that specialises in the subject. Thank you though, you definitely know what you're talking about, and I'll make sure to keep the positive thoughts going. Thanks a lot! :)

[Bigboyuk]

Bigboyuk,
Thanks for sticking with me through the whole of this man, I'm gladly going to consider you my friend at this point because you've really helped and supported me a lot no matter what I said. Thanks, it means a lot.:)

---------- Post added at 12:32 ---------- Previous post was at 12:22 ----------


Yeah I guess that is kinda irresponsible of me. I'm having councilling organised for after new year though and hopefully I'll be diagnosed with something. I just hope I get a good councillor that specialises in the subject. Thank you though, you definitely know what you're talking about, and I'll make sure to keep the positive thoughts going. Thanks a lot! :) Hey it's no problem m8 :) And thank you that is kind and it means a lot me Cheers :)

[brucealmighty]

I hope you get the help or advice you need, and I wasn`t being aggressive. Terry has a long history of behaving like this, I was explaining to him that I don`t respond too well to being bullied, not digging at you for expressing what you`re going through.

I don`t know you and as for categorising people? I only know what you`ve posted and i don`t believe for a second that you`d post on a forum if you were secretly planning to act on your impulses.

my issue is when terry or anyone else gives a long and professional sounding opinion, quoting various bodies, without knowing the facts. You could be who you say you are, or you could be a 47 year old bloke in barbados who likes dressing up as a pelican at weekends. no one on here really knows anyone else unless they`ve done the meet ups in their area.

Its good that you can speak to your parents so openly, thats an absolute gift believe me, so use that to your advantage, get some therapy or whatever you decide on.

Forums can be a great place but only when people are actually free to express themselves. if its ok to discuss your urges - which it is - then it must be ok to present a diverse argument, or a viewpoint based on my own knowledge, experience and life.

Finally, its worth considering that just because the WHO or other bodies say a certain thing, it doesn`t mean its cast iron nailed on fact. The person or persons who have decided that certain behaviours fit into this box or that one may also have their own agenda, or reasons for allowing or encouraging particular tendencies.

but please don`t take my posts as an attack on you, they`re not, I support this forum and its aims but don`t like the BIG TEXT, do what I say approach from people like terry.

[whoevenami]

BruceAlmighty,
That was a fair point, and I understand that you don't like that kind of approach. I myself don't see it as that kind of approach, however I support the fact that you don't like it and I guess we'll leave it at that, I'm sure neither of you meant no harm towards each other or anyone.
As for the idea of you being aggressive, I must apologise for taking it the wrong way, and also possibly making an incorrect assumption, you know much more than me being an adult and I don't have much right in combatting your opinions, which I'm fine with.
Also, when I say this, I'm not trying to have a dig at you, I promise, but I guess that because you don't have OCD (which I haven't even been diagnosed with professionally in all honesty, making me a hypocrite) you view the situation differently. I'm not saying that is a bad thing however, as it allows me to get a view of the situation from someone not so experienced with the subject (in the fact that you don't have it), and the opinion really does help, so thank you.

[brucealmighty]

you`re more than welcome and don`t assume old b*ggers know any better than you do, we`ve just been around longer. you express yourself very well and even if we disagree or mis-read things or whatever, fundamentally I`d like you to be happy and feel safe and secure in life, much like I wish I wasn`t generally anxious. and you`re right about me not understanding ocd I have little habits and routines myself but not a condition as such.

anyway, if I`m not back on here later due to festivities or beer, then I truly wish you a very happy christmas and new year and I hope 2017 brings peace of mind or ways of handling your intrusive thoughts that will see you come out the other side in a happy place. I`m not on other forums and find this one is extremely helpful and inclusive so keep posting your concerns and there`ll always be someone around who can help or advise.

take care

[whoevenami]

You too, I wish you and your family a happy holidays, hope everything goes great for you this year, we're always here to help you through anything when you need us. You're a great person, thanks for all the encouragement and kind words.

[MyNameIsTerry]

you seem very keen to tell me how to behave terry, what threads to respond to, and how I should take someone's opinion as gospel. instead of trying your bully boy tactics on me and failing yet again, why don't you have a closer look at your own reasons for jumping to the defence of complete strangers who have put on a public forum that they feel aroused near small children.
I am entitled to post and respond politely within forum rules on any thread I like, and you can stamp your feet and throw your toys as much as you want, you have no power over me. let that sink in before you make any more broad brush statements.
you were doing well for a while in not targeting people on here, now you're back to pretending you're some infallible force. do stop it.
it's definitely not paedophilia then. I'm glad about that. and masturbating about your thoughts and fantasies of small children is purely a release and nothing to worry about?
enabling people is one thing but you've surpassed yourself this time.
you have ocd and no children. I don't, and do. which is why we disagree. let's leave it there.

What a disgusting and vile post that only shows you for what you are, Bruce. You are not interested in the fact this is recorded by true medical experts and continue in your ignorance. If you could be arsed to actually read about the subject you would see that doctors are the ones that state you are talking out of your backside here.

You do realise that you are complaining about diagnosis on the OCD board when you can be seen on the HA board telling people they don't have cancers from their stated symptoms but do have anxiety? Selective or hypocritical.

Stop whining about me telling you what not to post. I'm saying be careful because you are making suggestions out of ignorance. Learn about something rather than do that.

You are not being targeted, you can stop right there with your attempt at victim status. You decided to start something, I responded to you and you spit your dummy because someone dares to talk back. Do you expect everyone to take your attitude on here? And you call them a bully when they do. :doh: Grow up.

Your insinuation that I defend possible paedophiles is a disgusting comment.

---------- Post added at 15:51 ---------- Previous post was at 15:43 ----------


I hope you get the help or advice you need, and I wasn`t being aggressive. Terry has a long history of behaving like this, I was explaining to him that I don`t respond too well to being bullied, not digging at you for expressing what you`re going through.

I don`t know you and as for categorising people? I only know what you`ve posted and i don`t believe for a second that you`d post on a forum if you were secretly planning to act on your impulses.

my issue is when terry or anyone else gives a long and professional sounding opinion, quoting various bodies, without knowing the facts. You could be who you say you are, or you could be a 47 year old bloke in barbados who likes dressing up as a pelican at weekends. no one on here really knows anyone else unless they`ve done the meet ups in their area.

Its good that you can speak to your parents so openly, thats an absolute gift believe me, so use that to your advantage, get some therapy or whatever you decide on.

Forums can be a great place but only when people are actually free to express themselves. if its ok to discuss your urges - which it is - then it must be ok to present a diverse argument, or a viewpoint based on my own knowledge, experience and life.

Finally, its worth considering that just because the WHO or other bodies say a certain thing, it doesn`t mean its cast iron nailed on fact. The person or persons who have decided that certain behaviours fit into this box or that one may also have their own agenda, or reasons for allowing or encouraging particular tendencies.

but please don`t take my posts as an attack on you, they`re not, I support this forum and its aims but don`t like the BIG TEXT, do what I say approach from people like terry.

That's funny, only a very few people have ever had an issue. Guess why that is? Because there was a dispute over something.

I don't like your attempts to attack various people on the forum either but sadly until Admin tend to wade in we have to put up with it or challenge it.

So, you don't like links to medical experts opinions? You don't like links to the NHS? That's a very irrational view. You prefer opinion of the layman over people qualified to talk. :doh:

I don't have kids but what difference does that make? Does being a parent make you able to tackle everything? That's a new one on me.

My long history? Funny really that it has appeared out of nowhere because you didn't like it after sticking up for someone that was being ridiculed by people like you. I've been doing that long before you joined because I don't like you see people being treated that way.

---------- Post added at 15:59 ---------- Previous post was at 15:51 ----------


Hi
I don't think it was aggression as such believe you me if it was the mods would be on to it :) Your vocab is good for 16 too. The fact you recognise you need help is a very positive thing and we all respect you for this my friend :) Stay cool and let us know how you get on and we are all here for any further questions too!! Cheers

I think you need to read it again. It was sadly the same personal rubbish Bruce tried on the HA board not long ago when he attempted to use my OCD as a way to insinuate something. I'm not going to just put up with comments like that.

Admin aren't around much, Bigboyuk. They may spot things later.

It may be scary to you, I knew nothing about it myself a few years ago but learned from members here and from reading about it on medical professionals sites, OCD charity sites, etc. It's very commonly known if you Google it.

It's one for education, whether some don't like the reminder, because a couple of years ago a new member in a very anxious state was bullied off here by an irrational poster insisted it didn't exist and that the person should be imprisoned for public safety. It was a horrible thing to witness and despite a load of us trying to convince him otherwise be left in a state.

This other situation is likely about the forum politics and I would say to the OP to ignore it. We don't all get on unfortunately and sometimes this happens.

[Bigboyuk]

Guys I am still fairly new here and while everyone is entitled to views/opinions There is especaily in this type of thread a need to hold one's mouth if you need to discuss this further with each other then Pm each other Just my 50p's worth :) I have come here to this forum to get better Thank you :)

---------- Post added at 16:07 ---------- Previous post was at 16:02 ----------


What a disgusting and vile post that only shows you for what you are, Bruce. You are not interested in the fact this is recorded by true medical experts and continue in your ignorance. If you could be arsed to actually read about the subject you would see that doctors are the ones that state you are talking out of your backside here.

You do realise that you are complaining about diagnosis on the OCD board when you can be seen on the HA board telling people they don't have cancers from their stated symptoms but do have anxiety? Selective or hypocritical.

Stop whining about me telling you what not to post. I'm saying be careful because you are making suggestions out of ignorance. Learn about something rather than do that.

You are not being targeted, you can stop right there with your attempt at victim status. You decided to start something, I responded to you and you spit your dummy because someone dares to talk back. Do you expect everyone to take your attitude on here? And you call them a bully when they do. :doh: Grow up.

Your insinuation that I defend possible paedophiles is a disgusting comment.

---------- Post added at 15:51 ---------- Previous post was at 15:43 ----------



That's funny, only a very few people have ever had an issue. Guess why that is? Because there was a dispute over something.

I don't like your attempts to attack various people on the forum either but sadly until Admin tend to wade in we have to put up with it or challenge it.

So, you don't like links to medical experts opinions? You don't like links to the NHS? That's a very irrational view. You prefer opinion of the layman over people qualified to talk. :doh:

I don't have kids but what difference does that make? Does being a parent make you able to tackle everything? That's a new one on me.

My long history? Funny really that it has appeared out of nowhere because you didn't like it after sticking up for someone that was being ridiculed by people like you. I've been doing that long before you joined because I don't like you see people being treated that way.

---------- Post added at 15:59 ---------- Previous post was at 15:51 ----------



I think you need to read it again. It was sadly the same personal rubbish Bruce tried on the HA board not long ago when he attempted to use my OCD as a way to insinuate something. I'm not going to just put up with comments like that.

Admin aren't around much, Bigboyuk. They may spot things later.

It may be scary to you, I knew nothing about it myself a few years ago but learned from members here and from reading about it on medical professionals sites, OCD charity sites, etc. It's very commonly known if you Google it.

It's one for education, whether some don't like the reminder, because a couple of years ago a new member in a very anxious state was bullied off here by an irrational poster insisted it didn't exist and that the person should be imprisoned for public safety. It was a horrible thing to witness and despite a load of us trying to convince him otherwise be left in a state.

This other situation is likely about the forum politics and I would say to the OP to ignore it. We don't all get on unfortunately and sometimes this happens. I will read it again and it's not a question of getting on or not getting on it's more to do with if a member disagree's or not well that's the way I see it and I am certainly not having a go at you or Bruce :) But feel it's getting a bit heated, may be I am incorrect on this but again just my opinon :)

[MyNameIsTerry]

Guys I am still fairly new here and while everyone is entitled to views/opinions There is especaily in this type of thread a need to hold one's mouth if you need to discuss this further with each other then Pm each other Just my 50p's worth :) I have come here to this forum to get better Thank you :)

---------- Post added at 16:07 ---------- Previous post was at 16:02 ----------

I will read it again and it's not a question of getting on or not getting on it's more to do with if a member disagree's or not well that's the way I see it and I am certainly not having a go at you or Bruce :) But feel it's getting a bit heated, may be I am incorrect on this but again just my opinon :)

You're right, it shouldn't happen and normally I would keep it calm but I'm not going to just take insinuations like that. I don't take arguments into PM, from experience things can get much worse and I come here for the same reasons you do. I don't need this either but I'm going to defend myself if needed. Unfortunately not everyone always gets on around here and things spill over at times. It's sad.

Your point about being careful is something I agree with. When POCD has been questioned in terms of whether it is a theme, the same has been said. It can't be denied, it's documented and accepted. So, when someone displays all the characteristics of it and not those found in paedophilia, POCD is the likely issue. WHO are very clear on the drives in paedophilia, Steve Seay's article backs that up (a licenced psychologist) so people can research it to understand and be better able to help each other.

To the OP, whilst no one on here is trained we can follow what professionals say otherwise this forum would be a lot less worthy. Read what they say, they know more about it than anyone on here and their opinions matter much more.

[Bigboyuk]

You're right, it shouldn't happen and normally I would keep it calm but I'm not going to just take insinuations like that. I don't take arguments into PM, from experience things can get much worse and I come here for the same reasons you do. I don't need this either but I'm going to defend myself if needed. Unfortunately not everyone always gets on around here and things spill over at times. It's sad.

Your point about being careful is something I agree with. When POCD has been questioned in terms of whether it is a theme, the same has been said. It can't be denied, it's documented and accepted. So, when someone displays all the characteristics of it and not those found in paedophilia, POCD is the likely issue. WHO are very clear on the drives in paedophilia, Steve Seay's article backs that up (a licenced psychologist) so people can research it to understand and be better able to help each other.

To the OP, whilst no one on here is trained we can follow what professionals say otherwise this forum would be a lot less worthy. Read what they say, they know more about it than anyone on here and their opinions matter much more. Yes I can understand that but perhaps defend yourself in a kinder manner, as no one is rubbish that would have hurt me if it had been said to me so yes defend your self but try a different approach ;) Cheers

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yes I can understand that but perhaps defend yourself in a kinder manner, as no one is rubbish that would have hurt me if it had been said to me so yes defend your self but try a different approach ;) Cheers

Been there, done that with this poster. Here we are again. I'm past the point now. Discussion seems to be misinterpreted as you can see. I wish it was otherwise.

It's probably best if Admin delete this whole lot out. I have no doubt it will happen again, but this negativity in this thread is unhelpful and it has driven the thread off course and may continue to do so.

EDIT: I've asked Admin if they want to delete it out.

[Bigboyuk]

Been there, done that with this poster. Here we are again. I'm past the point now. Discussion seems to be misinterpreted as you can see. I wish it was otherwise.

It's probably best if Admin delete this whole lot out. I have no doubt it will happen again, but this negativity in this thread is unhelpful and it has driven the thread off course and may continue to do so. Ahh I think that may be a negative move in some ways as I feel that the Op has benified from various view points, I certainly have and had a vested interest in trying to help the OP

[MyNameIsTerry]

Ahh I think that may be a negative move in some ways as I feel that the Op has benified from various view points, I certainly have and had a vested interest in trying to help the OP

No, I meant the argument part. It should play no part in this thread, it shouldn't have happened and as you said it should be just about the OP.

[Fishmanpa]

Everyone is different. Despite what my research showed about my cancer and the prognosis, if I had taken that as gospel, I wouldn't be here.

The same goes for mental illness. Sure, you can site text books, case studies and other very qualified sources but it still comes down to the individual. Think about it.... Even with meds, what works for one may not for another, side effects etc. all affect the individual differently.

So while siting the facts per se' can be beneficial in some situations, often times it's not helpful and in fact can muddle the matter. IMO, in this case with the age and subject matter taken into consideration, professional help is warranted.

Positive thoughts

[brucealmighty]

I`d sooner it was dealt with than deleted but I`ll leave it to admin/mods as they see fit.
I appreciate the attempt to help here bigboyuk but believe me there`s no point.

Discussion needs to be two way terry, not just your way or the highway. I believe in free speech unfortunately you seem to have an issue with that, and me in particular.

not to worry. your aggression towards me bounces off because you`re just words on a screen to me, like I am to you. its not real life.

to get back on point, the OP and myself managed to have a perfectly sane discussion on here until it was derailed by your long rant. its nearly christmas. lets play nice.

[Bigboyuk]

No, I meant the argument part. It should play no part in this thread, it shouldn't have happened and as you said it should be just about the OP. My apologies, yes then think that would be a good move! Best let Admin sort this out :)

---------- Post added at 16:52 ---------- Previous post was at 16:49 ----------

A question for whoevenami ss is this the first forum you are a member of?

---------- Post added at 16:58 ---------- Previous post was at 16:52 ----------


I`d sooner it was dealt with than deleted but I`ll leave it to admin/mods as they see fit.
I appreciate the attempt to help here bigboyuk but believe me there`s no point.

Discussion needs to be two way terry, not just your way or the highway. I believe in free speech unfortunately you seem to have an issue with that, and me in particular.

not to worry. your aggression towards me bounces off because you`re just words on a screen to me, like I am to you. its not real life.

to get back on point, the OP and myself managed to have a perfectly sane discussion on here until it was derailed by your long rant. its nearly christmas. lets play nice. Ok think you are right it is nearly Christmas so I happy let all be nice and no one has to agree to everything either for the Op's sake lets all get back OT :)

[MyNameIsTerry]

:wall:

Before this we were all trying to help him. Why not quit the deflection and the games and get back to that now?

We can either try to discuss the issue or bury our heads in the sand over it. Like we've been saying, the involvement of medical professionals is a given anyway. But when someone joins who is making mistakes in understanding the issue, we can try to educate.

If some of you don't like reading about a condition, what is the point of the articles on this website? Places like OCD UK, a leading charity that work with the NHS, do this because you they understand how people with some of these themes hide in fear thinking the worst. Can you imagine how hard it must be to approach someone about this when your fear can be telling you that you are a potential criminal?

I agree with organisations like OCD UK. I agree with medical professionals and the NHS and as someone who has been through it with intrusive thoughts about violence themes, I appreciate what I learned rather than keep worrying I was something else. In fact, you guys are the only ones I have come across saying the opposite. Virtually all the threads on this board are about Pure O themes and we are all saying the same and helping in the same way. Why only an issue now? It's been this way since I joined.

[Elen]

As I am not sure how quickly we will be able to discuss the disagreements that are appearing on this post I will close the thread for now.

Can members please show respect to each other and their points of view.

Thank you

Elen