ocds
24-12-16, 05:58
So I've been having a lot of death anxiety lately, sometimes I lay awake crying thinking about how much time I have wasted in my life and how I feel like I can't make up time and how scary death is. Sometimes it doesn't bother me at all, and that's when it really worries me because I feel like when I don't worry that's when things go wrong and things I had previously worried about happen.
I've been on edge about death for 8 months. I've been on and off anxious about my future since then. I had this dream my dead aunt told me I was dying a few weeks ago, but it wasn't like a "you're dying right now", it didn't feel like that. It was more like "you're dying you know?" and I was like trying to convince myself in the dream that I wasn't, but I couldn't because everyone is. I'm scared I've thought so much about death that I've jinxed myself into an early grave, and now like it's just inevitable because I can't get out of this bubble where I'm constantly thinking it's going to happen. Every day I go out and am scared something bad is going to happen to me and I just really wish I could be calm and not think I'm going to have something terrible to me because I'm calm, at the same time. It feels like accepting death is inevitable is asking for it to happen to me, and I don't want that so I keep worrying.
I've been on edge about death for 8 months. I've been on and off anxious about my future since then. I had this dream my dead aunt told me I was dying a few weeks ago, but it wasn't like a "you're dying right now", it didn't feel like that. It was more like "you're dying you know?" and I was like trying to convince myself in the dream that I wasn't, but I couldn't because everyone is. I'm scared I've thought so much about death that I've jinxed myself into an early grave, and now like it's just inevitable because I can't get out of this bubble where I'm constantly thinking it's going to happen. Every day I go out and am scared something bad is going to happen to me and I just really wish I could be calm and not think I'm going to have something terrible to me because I'm calm, at the same time. It feels like accepting death is inevitable is asking for it to happen to me, and I don't want that so I keep worrying.