xmas/ NY survival thread?

[Lissa101]

Hi All, I'm just away to travel to Scotland where I'm spending xmas and NY with family. My anxiety is really bad at the moment and I know there will be sone tough days ahead. I'm sure lots of other people feel this way so thought it might be nice to have a thread where we can let off some steam, have a rant or ask for advice and support from other members ☺

[Jacqueline7]

Good idea

I'm with u all the way. So so anxious and on edge. Let's journey it together and survive it

Hopefully next year we will thrive it. It for now let's sr I e ittogether

Take care

Jackie

[BikerMatt]

I'm the same! Anxiety overload!
It makes me feel so guilty that my little boy and partner are all excited! They don't know but for me the quicker Christmas goes the better!

---------- Post added 25-12-16 at 00:07 ---------- Previous post was 24-12-16 at 23:11 ----------

I sound like a total misery. I'm not honest!

[Fishmanpa]

From another post:


I posted this in another thread but it's worth repeating. Minus the hub hub and spiritual significance. Holidays are just another day on the calendar. With what I'm dealing with in my life, I've taken that approach this year as I've done in the past. In my past there were times that the holidays brought sadness due to my life situation at the time (illness, alone, etc.) and I've "learned" to take the approach I speak of.

It's all well and good to approach it as a "season" of giving and good will but I've personally taken that past a "season" and adopted that attitude all year 'round. Why does it have to be Christmas or a birthday to buy someone a gift or to donate to a charity? The positive aspects are advantageous to one's attitude and spirit.

Again, in the past when faced with the holiday blues, I've done as little as necessary... Retreated to my cave so to speak and then after my 1st marriage ended, gifts to my kids and a few close friends of course and participated in the office party gift exchange etc. but refrained from decorating and the like. Of course, in good times, throwing myself into the spirit was and always is a blast!

It's also interesting observing the holidays from that perspective. For years as a musician, New Year's Eve was the big gig. Pay was double or triple etc. I recall many a New Year when I would be watching others from the stage partying and pretty much making an @$$ of themselves. I also recall one of the first New Years I wasn't performing and the last thing I wanted to do was go out. That year was quietly spent at home alone watching a movie, the ball drop in NY and going to bed. Since then, There have been times I went to bed prior to midnight! The same with Christmas. There's something freeing about not dealing with the crowds and craziness of the holiday season. I recall purposely doing my food shopping late at night to avoid the crowds in the grocery store. Again... looking at it as just another day that civilization has attached significance to.

I never explored the psychological significance of my methods. Perhaps it's a way to protect myself from negativity but it's worked for me :)

Positive thoughts

[Lilac58]

So thankful to see this thread. I do hope everyone is coping in their own way, it is so hard

I'm thrust into my son-in-law's family celebrations. They are nice people but I'm crying so often because I think I'm a bad parent, bad person. I don't understand how they are not thinking like this too, how they can be ok with themselves, at least on the surface.

Wishing everyone a calm and happy Christmas day:)

[shakey1961]

Well, the day we dislike the most is here. As I type it's nearly 6am so a quarter of the way through already!

I think I'm going to do a combination of going with the flow (like floating downstream on a river) and getting my mental scythe out and hacking and fighting my way through the anxiety jungle.

Let's all try and have a smile and a scream today. How about we put down our bad and funny experiences of today.

I'm in floating mode right now - I'm going to be in battle mode at 11:30am getting the meal on - which I may add has been brilliantly prepared by Tesco, all I have to do it put it in the oven at the right time!

Why make it difficult for yourself.

And a Bah Humbug to you all. LOL

[pulisa]

Best wishes to everyone visiting this thread..

I have a completely dysfunctional family and although it's just the 4 of us today it'll be a minefield of potential meltdowns. I know that my autistic daughter will have problems with her presents if they are not just right or an unwelcome surprise but we have talked beforehand of the chance of present "turkeys" and how it's the thought that counts etc and to try to see the funny side etc..That's a challenging concept for someone with ASD so we will see.

My main concern will be to make sure that her OCD isn't triggered by contamination issues regarding other family members. Also that she has time by herself when she needs it...as I do.

Actually we will try to keep things as normal as possible for us but if it works and we keep the stress levels down then it's a good thing.

I hope everyone's day turns out to be better than expected. I'd say just try to keep things simple and don't attempt too much beyond your comfort zone. This is probably the worst possible advice if you are a psychologist but I'm not and I'll do whatever it takes to get through the day relatively unscathed by unnecessary angst!:D

[Lissa101]

Hope everyone is getting through xmas morning ok. I'm struggling a wee bit, considering taking a valium but I'm not used to them and don't want to be a zombie all day.

Peace and calmness to everyone, today won't last forever (but it might feel like it......) ☺

[shakey1961]

11:10am so almost half way through. See, we're getting there. Almost half the day gone now.

I'm off too cook the Xmas meal for my mates now.

Keep on keeping on.

5 4 3 2 1 and relax

[Lissa101]

Good luck with the dinner Shakey. I've just volunteered to cook just so I have an excuse to get in the kitchen and close the door to the noise. It's a veggie dinner so pretty easy to make, couldn't handle a turkey!

[Jacqueline7]

Ok well talking disfunctional I'm making dinner for my five amazing kids who decided to invite their dad this year. My ex hubby. Who then decided to invite my ex father in law. So can't fn wait. I've took a wee two but of. Kurds the agitation still seeps through

Been doing yoga for an hour to ease the adrenaline. But still a bit shakey and nervous. A bit being the understatement of the decade xxxx

Wish me luck and any moment of peace u get cherish it.

Jackie

[Lissa101]

Ooft, that's a lot to deal with. But you're doing all the right things and its lovely of you to go through all of that for your kids. Are they likely to stay long? Hugs x

[shakey1961]

Well, past 6pm so that's 75% through the day, not long to go now. Xmas dinner went well, but as usual I felt like the old dad dozing off after his meal. Managed to wake and stay awake for Her Maj at 3pm.

The whole day is jogging along nicely now.

One last push and it'll be Boxing Day!!!!!!!! YAY!!

[Lissa101]

Yip, its all over ☺ Unfortunately I'm staying with family until the 1st so another 7 days before I can scarper off home ��. But the worst day is over! X

[Elle-Kay]

I've made it through today surprisingly well, with my family, but tomorrow my parents in law arrive for an overnight stay, which is more of a challenge as I get anxious with others in the house during the day, let alone overnight when my anxiety is naturally at its worst. Still, they're only here for 24 hours (and I'll be counting every one!)

[Jacqueline7]

Well done e eryone. We are true survivors xx yes my ex stayed the night with the kids loving e dry minute of it.

That's my good deed done. Truthfully he is a good man but because my anxiety is back it makes it all seem overwhelming

The overwhelming feeling is hard to. Bear with even simple tasks

Well done every one

Jackie

[Elle-Kay]

My husband has just gone out with his parents, for dinner. That was one step too far for me, today, so I elected to stay behind at home. When I told my husband I wasn't coming, he sighed at me and then walked off �� He hasn't even seen all the stuff I HAVE been able to do - find, buy and wrap gifts for the whole family, have a drink on Christmas day when I usually avoid alcohol in case it causes anxiety, welcome his parents to our home when having overnight visitors really makes me anxious, arrange and prepare a buffet lunch, bake homemade mince pies because he likes them, eat a proper lunch with his parents when I usually avoid eating when I'm anxious, and stay in my seat in the living room even as I felt the anxiety start to rise, so that I could make conversation with his parents while he went on his computer...

[Jacqueline7]

Oh my god u baked xxxx while anxious xx hat off to u.

People who haven't been thru it don't see how the small things we do are in fact huge when u consider the fire burning inside us

Well done u

Jackie

[Lissa101]

Only two and a bit more days and the whole xmas/NY palavar will be over and the world will return to normal. Can't wait!