The comeback of HA

[Anka]

Hi guys
I am new to this forum.I have been suffering with HA for a 4 years now.Always used this website to come myself down.But today I felt like it is time join in.
My story is no different to millions of others. I lost my dad to MS 3 years ago and then having my younger sister diagnosed with it too completely destroyed me.
I was actually started to be worried about my health slightly before these 2 events and after visiting my GP was diagnosed with HA.I have tried the therapy on 2 occasions.The 2nd one proved to be successful and my doctor has advised that our next appointment will be last as I was doing so well.

And I was!I became addicted to making myself better.I was reading literature on HA,doing everything that therapist asked me to do and after a whole year I could definitely feel the difference.I was startingto feel so proud of myself but unfortunately now I am having bad days again.
I don't know about all of you but my health anxiety was getting smarter through the years.
It started with physical symptoms.I had every single one of them.When I accepted that they were part of HA,they dissappeared completely.I improved my mood and my behaviour.
Well now HA has decided to throw another problem.I have become obsessed with testing myself:Romberg tests was just the beginning!Now I am doing rapd(light swing test movement)100 times a day.And I just can't stop!This is all to check that I don't have optic neuritis!I am stuck in the vicious circle of an ill mind and I don't know how to stop.
Before I was trying to make myself mega busy so there was no time for stupid thoughts but obviously I can't go on like this.

So any suggestions please?

[LF87]

I'm the same, in the midst of a total relapse.
I also had successful CBT for my HA and thought it was a thing of the past for me. Then I had an abnormal smear test / biopsy and taken me into new realms.
I think we need to remember and apply what we have learned and commit to it, like not Googling and trying to reassure ourselves. I'd suggest not doing the tests you're currently doing, absolutely refuse to until the urge goes away and eventually the anxiety will reduce. But I'm in the same boat, it's a real pain! X

[Anka]

Thank you LF87. I am going to really try starting now as it is ruining my life again. I managed to overcome it once,I will just have to do it again. I hope all your tests will come back clear. Try to take your mind of it.See some friends or do something you love.Baking always helps me.Also talking to myself as a 3rd person.I had a lump in my breast 2 months ago and had scan and biopsy.It all came back clear so honestly if they do more tests it doesn’t always mean there is anything wrong.The doctors just need to know for sure what it is.So good luck.X

[LF87]

I had my biopsy results a few weeks ago, showed 'mild changes ' and they'd see me again in a year. Thank you for wishing good results though :) I was happy after getting the result, but it just set me off on my health anxiety all over again. I've diagnosed myself with around 7 cancers in a month and some other weird and wonderful things. I've been doing some cooking today actually, it's helped keep my mind busy. I'm not a great baker though haha.
If we've overcome it once we can do it again! Just need to stop checking, testing and monitoring as best we can. Xx

[Lam123]

I'm very similar, went to therapy and really thought I had a good handle in this. Then Christmas Day I felt a swollen lymph node in my armpit. I would never know it was there if I had not felt there and the stupid part is, I have no idea why I even felt there to begin with. So here I am back into a mental mess trying to function.

[LF87]

Yeah Lam, it's strange how one thing can set us off so badly. I've been fine for over 2 years. Had little weird body lumps / spots in that time and was able after CBT to overlook them pretty well. Now it's like I've totally forgotten how to stay rational and spiralled into square one. We know the tools though, just need to remind ourselves. I'm going to sit down in the next few days and read up on health anxiety and start writing things down. What I always found helpful is humour though. I said out loud the 'diseases' I've had over the last month and found myself laughing, some of them are so outrageous. But then I move on to the next thing and believe it 100% again! Stuff I worried about 2 weeks ago doesn't even bother me anymore but at the time I was certain it was 'the one'. I had a lymph worry a few weeks ago, turns out it was a blocked hair follicle after a demented doctors visit. Don't worry x

[Anka]

Absolutely guys!Stay strong.After posting I haven't done tests yet so it feels good.Lam 123 I can actually feel my lymph nodes under my arm when it is bent.I went to the doctor about them years ago and was told they are not swollen it is just how they are.If the lymph node hurts it could be the beginning of a cold.But whatever it is just leave it and don't fiddle with it for at least a week.If it is still there go and see a doctor.And don't Google!Well you know that ��