Sphincterclench
27-12-16, 19:51
I came over from Anxiety Zone... I used to lurk here on occasion but AZ was my permanent place.
So, for those of you who dont know me....
Couple years ago I have what I can think looking back now as heart palpitations that led me to think I was dying any moment and I spiraled in to anxiety, fear and paranoia.
Fast forward a couple years, I am now on medication that handles the majority and lets me talk about things that aren’t me being sick or dying and outwardly pretend to be the old me. I have yet to start CBT (mental health benefits ran out but in a few days ….reset)
Like a large percentage of the people here, when my medications are in full effect, I will be pretty sure my symptoms are anxiety driven, yet not so sure that I won’t ask if the various symptoms I have are real or imagined.
That being said…..here are my symptoms
Months of “something stuck in my throat” – Moves around (that’s right…mobile tumor).
GERD that on any given day I will be convinced is a heart attack or stomach Cancer
Headaches that are clearly brain tumors (also move around)
Nodes or salivary glands along jaw line messed with non stop until they are in fact swollen or at least believed to be and either lymphoma or head and neck cancer.
Things I obsess over:
Nodes in neck (see above)
Colon Cancer and BM's (new low is actually inspecting them for size, shape, consistency)
Blood pressure – White coat hypertension is real….get me in an office and I can make a new nurse real nervous
Weight – I am overweight, meds aren’t helping as they assisted in my piling on about 25 pounds, and need to lose weight (6’1 and about 270). Anxiety will assist in this as I frequently lose my appetite when I am obsessing over (insert health issue here) However, the loss of even 5 lbs will be clear and convincing evidence of cancer that’s eating away at me and I will actually overeat until I see that my weight can still go up as well.
Body Temp – never have a fever, haven’t had one in the 2 years I have been checking and recording.
Writing all this up makes me realize how ridiculous this all is….
Man I miss the old me.
So, for those of you who dont know me....
Couple years ago I have what I can think looking back now as heart palpitations that led me to think I was dying any moment and I spiraled in to anxiety, fear and paranoia.
Fast forward a couple years, I am now on medication that handles the majority and lets me talk about things that aren’t me being sick or dying and outwardly pretend to be the old me. I have yet to start CBT (mental health benefits ran out but in a few days ….reset)
Like a large percentage of the people here, when my medications are in full effect, I will be pretty sure my symptoms are anxiety driven, yet not so sure that I won’t ask if the various symptoms I have are real or imagined.
That being said…..here are my symptoms
Months of “something stuck in my throat” – Moves around (that’s right…mobile tumor).
GERD that on any given day I will be convinced is a heart attack or stomach Cancer
Headaches that are clearly brain tumors (also move around)
Nodes or salivary glands along jaw line messed with non stop until they are in fact swollen or at least believed to be and either lymphoma or head and neck cancer.
Things I obsess over:
Nodes in neck (see above)
Colon Cancer and BM's (new low is actually inspecting them for size, shape, consistency)
Blood pressure – White coat hypertension is real….get me in an office and I can make a new nurse real nervous
Weight – I am overweight, meds aren’t helping as they assisted in my piling on about 25 pounds, and need to lose weight (6’1 and about 270). Anxiety will assist in this as I frequently lose my appetite when I am obsessing over (insert health issue here) However, the loss of even 5 lbs will be clear and convincing evidence of cancer that’s eating away at me and I will actually overeat until I see that my weight can still go up as well.
Body Temp – never have a fever, haven’t had one in the 2 years I have been checking and recording.
Writing all this up makes me realize how ridiculous this all is….
Man I miss the old me.