terrified that I have heart disease

[Bree0817]

Im posting here to see if maybe anyone has felt the same thing or has any advice because I am seriously becoming depressed over this. I have had literally non stop pulsations in my left breast and stomach for 2 months now. It doesnt matter how I sit or how I lay I can see my chest and abdomen thumping away. When I try to lay on my back, my heartbeat literally lifts me up and down. I have brought it up to my primary care doctor a few times but he always ignores it and says its just my anxiety. I made my own appointment with a cardiologist and he offered me a stress test and echo to ease my mind but he didnt even listen to my heart or look at the pulsations. I wont get the results of the tests for another week. Im 22 so I know statistically its probably nothing. But I also have a pretty extensive history of drug and alcohol abuse over the past 6 years and I'm also over 300 pounds (I have slowly come down from 400 and I am still losing weight). I know seeing these pulsations is common in thin people but obviously I am nowhere near thin. My anxiety meds arent helping at all and I can barely get out of bed each morning because I am so depressed. Any advice or support would be much appreciated. Thank you

[Sphincterclench]

I think if you re-read your post all of your answers are in there.

even at 300 pounds just walking around is a workout (im dangerously close myself) you have 2 doctors that arent concerned, and your 22.

Your fine, your losing the weight and presumably have given up the drugs and alcohol.

your doing all the right things...

Rest easy.

[emnemz]

I can always see my heart beat in my stomach, and my chest... my leg even moves if I sit with them crossed! I'm average build, this is something I've noticed since my anxiety started 4 years ago.

[randomforeigner]

Have you met with a dietist? That could be a next step. I'm not used to calculate or think in pounds but from what I gather a further 110 pounds will need to go. You might want to check out what's called the Mediterranean diet. When I visited the US (in 1995) I was quite shocked about the food, that it was so unhealthy: Cereals with lot of sugar, chocolate milk instead of milk, KFC style bread, lots of soft drinks instead of sparkling water, cheese that didn't look like proper cheese, etc. What was 'normal' in the shops didn't look normal to me. Drugs and alcoholic beverages on top of that (although you seem to have quit). You're doing right to be concerned. The next step is to find out what to do about it, and what hobbies you can pursue instead of food and drugs. It's very important you pull yourself out of bed every day. Post here every day if you need support from us forum members. Pick a challenging goal, like cycling the C2C track for instance. That would include finding out what it is, setting up a program to find a cycle to practice on, etc. The problem with all goals is that one has to do all of the hard work oneself (sadly but also fortunately). If depressed, it's hard to find any goal any fun, so you might have to reason toward a good goal, and not feel it as particularly fun to start with. Remember too, as was pointed out just above, you're doing all the right things!

[Bree0817]

Thank you all for your advice. Yes I have given up the drugs and alcohol, I have been completely sober for months now and plan to stay that way for life. I know I have to get myself out of this depression and set goals for myself. Its just hard because even walking to my bathroom makes my heart jump like crazy and its impossible not to see it. I am pretty much terrified to leave my bed. And of course I google and you know nothing positive comes from that. My first goal will be to stop doing that. Thank you again.

[Sam Winter]

Glad to hear you're taking steps Bree x.
set yourself baby goals and work your way up that will really help, as fat as your heart, you're young and off drugs/alcohol plus your doctor doesn't seem concerned by it, I'd say that's great news and that you have nothing to worry about, ita surprising what anxiety can do trust me,I had the exact similar issue in my youth(when I was like 8-9!) went through a million ECGs, blood tests, and heart monitors because my heart was crazy, it was always beating so fast, skipped beats, I couldn't breathe much at certain times, my doctors wrote it off as nothing and surely enough when I eventually got diagnosed with anxiety I discovered that's what was causing it, stay strong and remain positive, you'll be okay x

[Bree0817]

Having a hard day today. I couldn't sleep at all last night because I could constantly feel my heartbeat shaking my body. I finally nodded off for a few hours. I came here to resist the urge to google yet again. At least I'm starting there

[Fishmanpa]

I actually have heart disease, have had two heart attacks, a triple bypass, stents and have angina. What you describe isn't what I deal/dealt with in the least. Seeing or feeling your pulse is actually normal and much better than not seeing it or feeling it if you know what I mean ;)

Good for you for making lifestyle changes to address your health. At 22 and starting now, you'll ensure yourself a long and heart disease free life.

Positive thoughts