View Full Version : ex fiancee texting me how should i approach?
hi can i have an adults view on my situation i split up with gf, two weeks ago we had gone through a bad patch i had no job, it happens few other arguments
anyway im in a catch 22 as looking back she made me the happiest bloke alive when we were happy and shes salt of the earth compared to other women i meet
anyway shes started texting me the old How are you texts then sometimes she sends me some nice christmas family pics we can then go on to text for ages,
but then she mentions shes in an early relationship with a new bloke (ALREADY wtf) strangely no one knows about him though hes a bit of a mystery haha!!
im a bit confused how to approach this to me she still wants me ??
she can act immature like reply to texts hours later even though phones always in hand..
if i ignore that wont work as shell just figure i cant stand her
part of me wants to be a smart ass and say isnt your "new chap" satisfying ya becuase you shouldnt be texting me
advise please, i will say one thing she is majorly insecure and fishes for compliments , i dont want to feed this
thanks
MyNameIsTerry
28-12-16, 14:05
Could this new "mystery man" be as real & convincing as a TOWIE actor? :winks:
If she is actually in a relationship so soon then is it something she did to make you jealous or thought it might get your attention?
It's always a red flag when someone falls straight into a new relationship and then is sniffing around their ex. Maybe she is the sort who defines herself by always being in a relationship, otherwise she is a failure to herself, only you can work all that out and whether you can both work through that.
Love isn't forgotten so easily but a bit of booze and a few compliments can turn some people, whether they are in a relationship or not. People do make mistakes and being able to forgive them and forge a closer relationship is something top be admired but that takes maturity, willingness to change (and commit fully) and for the love to be still strong.
thats what i suspect terry this mystery man may not be to real,
let me explain she barely goes out its not as if she socialises everynight infact she loves sitting watching tele however she cyberlises a lot
so part of me wants to say you must have been planning this chap prior to this split as youd never meet anyone within 2 weeks YOU DONT GO OUT!!!!!
but then well just start the hatred again
she then starts all the I DID LOVE YOU BUT IM NOT INLOVE WITH YOU
its all childish rubbish imho but i dont seem to be able to compromise with her
It doesn't matter if her new bf is real or not. The character she's showing by communicating with you bf or not speaks volumes.
Advice? let her know you don't feel it's proper to be communicating with her at this point, block her and move on.
Positive thoughts
It's out of her character fishmanpa , she's very loyal, that's what I'm saying though if I block her it will deffo stop us resolving surely? I feel she may be trying to make me jealous as I was unfaithful but I would like to rebuild bridges like an adult
---------- Post added at 17:37 ---------- Previous post was at 17:13 ----------
It's out of her character fishmanpa , she's very loyal, that's what I'm saying though if I block her it will deffo stop us resolving surely? I feel she may be trying to make me jealous as I was unfaithful but I would like to rebuild bridges like an adult
MyNameIsTerry
28-12-16, 23:10
Oh it does make a big difference. There's quite a difference between doing something with a real man in this situation than having a fantasy one. It's still games. Hardly a crime though.
Personally I don't know her, only what I read here, and I have no idea about anything from her point of view. So, until I know both sides I don't make assumptions about other people, that's how mistakes are easily made. Better to understand what is going on before judging.
I take it the contact is two way anyway? Not someone being hassled? If so, there will be some fault on both sides about the comms.
It's out of her character fishmanpa , she's very loyal, that's what I'm saying though if I block her it will deffo stop us resolving surely? I feel she may be trying to make me jealous as I was unfaithful but I would like to rebuild bridges like an adult
The point is, for her to resort to such methods, new boyfriend real or not, is a HUGE red flag and indication the bridge should be left to fall to the ground. New bridges (relationships) can be built stronger and longer lasting, especially in light of knowing what made the first bridge fail.
I've been where you are and I've made the mistake you're considering. It never worked out. I'm one that believes in following the heart but there comes a time where logic must step in to keep you from plunging to your demise.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
Positive thoughts
More fish in the sea...start swimming with them. Who needs the drama?
MyNameIsTerry
29-12-16, 04:08
One way issue?
I'm not sure what I would do but in a world where people forgive far worse...
its easy to say theres plenty more fish but i like this one ive hurt her and perhaps shes trying to hurt me, but i can think of plenty of relationships where theyve got back together and resolved
Sounds like she's playing games.
ultimately, women want a strong person and character.
Show her you are strong enough to leave her and move on. She'll want you more, and will end up chasing you.
And if she doesn't, she never wanted you anyway.
So as FMP says, move on.
its easy to say theres plenty more fish but i like this one ive hurt her and perhaps shes trying to hurt me, but i can think of plenty of relationships where theyve got back together and resolved
Sounds like you want to get back with her as you're pushing back against advice to move on.
Do what you feel you need to do then. Hope things work out for you :)
Positive thoughts
ive told her to stop wasting my time texting me unless she wants to talk sennse and i think thats the best i can do
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