SeaLions
29-12-16, 02:50
Well here goes.
Firstly this is so not like me and can't believe I'm sat here in the middle of the night typing this but trying anything and everything for help. So here's my story!
I'm 38 and up until being 37 I was the most laid back carefree person. I'd never really had any major health scares, I've seen close friends and family tackle serious illness and some sadly passed away, all this was just taken in my stride and I just helped those who needed me..
So, 6 months ago I found a lump in my breast, I went to the doctors straight away who examined it and said he was pretty sure it was just fatty tissue but he was sending me to the breast clinic just to be sure.. Well that was the worst 2 week wait of my life waiting to go to the clinic.. I eventually went whereby the breast specialist checked (BOTH) my breast and felt the one lump straight away and said what my doc had said about it being tissue but the ultrasound would confirm for sure. I had the ultrasound in my right breast and the sonographer confirmed this to be true. Back to the consultant who said this was quite normal and didn't need to remove or do anything.
Now you would think the relief from that would be the end of it, but no that was just the beginning....
Ever since I've got severe health anxiety (this has taken me months to establish)
First I got severe vertigo and I mean severe. I couldn't walk down the corridor at work, I couldn't even stand at the sink to wash up or do anything without my brain feeling all fuzzy like I was going to fall and was veering in a different direction. This went on for weeks and I felt like I was going out of my mind. I went to the docs who did all the checks in my ears nose and throat and said I was fine. I wasn't convinced so I tried some reiki sessions to help clear my mind. This kinda worked as the lady suggested that maybe I just hadn't let go of the cancer scare (I hadn't told anyone till after I got the all clear about it) she thought my mind just hadn't released the negative energy and it was all still bottled up, wether that was true or not I don't know but a few reiki sessions seemed to make that go away. Then it was the next thing.. The lump is in my right breast but ever since my left one has been hurting, and I mean hurting to the extreme, from stabbing pains to shooting pain, tenderness just constant, so of course I thought well it's not in my right one it must be in the left, back to the docs I went.. He got the notes up from the breast consultant and the first line on the report said "checked both breasts, left one fine" and that was the first line in black and white saying my left one was fine, so when I saw that (he also said a aches and pains are normal with age) I was ok... For a day!! The next thing was I was convinced I could feel a lump coming from my lady parts, I tried to ignore it but it just felt like it was getting bigger and bigger (this thought wasn't by touch it was my mind that I could feel it) so back to the docs again. Another examination and she said absolute nothing their, so again I was fine, for a day!! next thing my left leg was aching like really bad and was convinced I could feel a growth right at the bottom of my spine (just at the top of my buttock) so back to the docs.. I would just like to mention here that I've been to the doctors a handful of times in my life and recently I seem to have been their every few weeks.. Anyway again a check and nothing.. But now I'm back on the left breast, it's just hurting all the time, at the moment it's underneath like at the top of my rib cage right underneath the breast. It's making me feel short of breath ( which I think I'm imagining cause I can breath) and tonight I've woke up after only being asleep for an hour (which I never ever do) and it's like the whole left breast was burning, which lasted about 1 minute.
I know this is long and I'm so sorry to bore but i dont know what to do anymore, some days I'm ok and can get through the day but others are impossible it's constantly on my mind, if it's not one thing it another. I ALWAYS thinking of my health and something has got to be seriously wrong somewhere in my body.
I could go on longer but I'm boring myself now..just before I finish I'd like to say 2 of my all time favourite things to do are to have a nice long hot bath and put my pjs on, and I can't do it anymore. I can't look at my left Breast at all, I get showered and dressed with my eyes closed and this has become the norm because I just can't bear to look at it incase there is something wrong.
Firstly this is so not like me and can't believe I'm sat here in the middle of the night typing this but trying anything and everything for help. So here's my story!
I'm 38 and up until being 37 I was the most laid back carefree person. I'd never really had any major health scares, I've seen close friends and family tackle serious illness and some sadly passed away, all this was just taken in my stride and I just helped those who needed me..
So, 6 months ago I found a lump in my breast, I went to the doctors straight away who examined it and said he was pretty sure it was just fatty tissue but he was sending me to the breast clinic just to be sure.. Well that was the worst 2 week wait of my life waiting to go to the clinic.. I eventually went whereby the breast specialist checked (BOTH) my breast and felt the one lump straight away and said what my doc had said about it being tissue but the ultrasound would confirm for sure. I had the ultrasound in my right breast and the sonographer confirmed this to be true. Back to the consultant who said this was quite normal and didn't need to remove or do anything.
Now you would think the relief from that would be the end of it, but no that was just the beginning....
Ever since I've got severe health anxiety (this has taken me months to establish)
First I got severe vertigo and I mean severe. I couldn't walk down the corridor at work, I couldn't even stand at the sink to wash up or do anything without my brain feeling all fuzzy like I was going to fall and was veering in a different direction. This went on for weeks and I felt like I was going out of my mind. I went to the docs who did all the checks in my ears nose and throat and said I was fine. I wasn't convinced so I tried some reiki sessions to help clear my mind. This kinda worked as the lady suggested that maybe I just hadn't let go of the cancer scare (I hadn't told anyone till after I got the all clear about it) she thought my mind just hadn't released the negative energy and it was all still bottled up, wether that was true or not I don't know but a few reiki sessions seemed to make that go away. Then it was the next thing.. The lump is in my right breast but ever since my left one has been hurting, and I mean hurting to the extreme, from stabbing pains to shooting pain, tenderness just constant, so of course I thought well it's not in my right one it must be in the left, back to the docs I went.. He got the notes up from the breast consultant and the first line on the report said "checked both breasts, left one fine" and that was the first line in black and white saying my left one was fine, so when I saw that (he also said a aches and pains are normal with age) I was ok... For a day!! The next thing was I was convinced I could feel a lump coming from my lady parts, I tried to ignore it but it just felt like it was getting bigger and bigger (this thought wasn't by touch it was my mind that I could feel it) so back to the docs again. Another examination and she said absolute nothing their, so again I was fine, for a day!! next thing my left leg was aching like really bad and was convinced I could feel a growth right at the bottom of my spine (just at the top of my buttock) so back to the docs.. I would just like to mention here that I've been to the doctors a handful of times in my life and recently I seem to have been their every few weeks.. Anyway again a check and nothing.. But now I'm back on the left breast, it's just hurting all the time, at the moment it's underneath like at the top of my rib cage right underneath the breast. It's making me feel short of breath ( which I think I'm imagining cause I can breath) and tonight I've woke up after only being asleep for an hour (which I never ever do) and it's like the whole left breast was burning, which lasted about 1 minute.
I know this is long and I'm so sorry to bore but i dont know what to do anymore, some days I'm ok and can get through the day but others are impossible it's constantly on my mind, if it's not one thing it another. I ALWAYS thinking of my health and something has got to be seriously wrong somewhere in my body.
I could go on longer but I'm boring myself now..just before I finish I'd like to say 2 of my all time favourite things to do are to have a nice long hot bath and put my pjs on, and I can't do it anymore. I can't look at my left Breast at all, I get showered and dressed with my eyes closed and this has become the norm because I just can't bear to look at it incase there is something wrong.