My past mistakes are eating me

[dancerja77]

I know I have posted about this before. I thought I was over it, but I guess that's not how anxiety works. When I was like 11-12 I had crazy sexual desires. I guess that's normal. I would use anything I could find to get off. My most extreme regret is using my dads, and sisters electric toothbrushes. At the time I didn't see anything wrong with it, clearly. But my 22 year old self now is DISGUSTED and shameful. I know I am not supposed to judge myself, but I can't help it. I feel much anxiety over and I could never tell them. All though I'm not sure it would do much good, as those toothbrushes are long gone, and it's been 12 years. I just can't seem to let it go. I didn't even remember I did it until last year, and it's haunted me ever since. I feel like I'm not normal, and I can't enjoy life. It's always there. Plus my anxiety has to do with confessions in general, so this is really hard for me, but I know it wouldn't change anything if I told them. Ugh. I just want reassurance that I'm not a bad person..

I feel weird and guilty even typing it.

Sorry.

[Noivous]

Don't tell them. What's done is done. Let it go. Don't beat yourself up over it. It sounds like it's your anxiety that's driving your guilt not the other way around.

N.

[Lissa101]

Have you ever watched American Pie? Adolescents can be sex-obsessed, its pretty normal behaviour and I'm sure lots of kids have done much wierder stuff. Violating an electric toothbrush is really nothing to worry about!

[Noivous]

I just hope you didn't use the bristles:D

[Fishmanpa]

Really... I know you're having difficulty dealing with it but what's done is done.

It actually sounds like something they'd put in a romantic comedy movie. Girl uses electric toothbrush to ummm... you know and bf knocks on the door needing to urgently use the bathroom and ends up brushing his teeth before she had a chance to change the brush out. :D

Positive thoughts

[MyNameIsTerry]

You were experimenting, we all went through it in our different ways. You know using the toothbrush was wrong but you are placing far too much emphasis on it.

Why are you a bad person because of this act? What about everything good that you have done? What about the good you have done for your family? Why would that act wipe these out?

Learn to forgive yourself because no one is perfect, despite what some may think of themselves, and you will do things after this that later you regret. Placing so much hindsight bias on these events will make them seem bigger than they are.

[NoraB]

Honestly, just try and see the funny side. You're certainly not a bad person. Like Fishmanpa says, it would make a great scene in a comedy and actually, the American Pie films (as someone else mentioned) would be a good way of helping you to deal with it when you see what happens to an apple pie.:ohmy::D

[Dancerja7777777]

I think I just feel bad because it’s gross they had to brush their teeth after with it. I can’t stop feeling bad about that bit.

[NoraB]

I think I just feel bad because it’s gross they had to brush their teeth after with it. I can’t stop feeling bad about that bit.

Can you change this? No. It's in the past, and the owners of the toothbrushes are none the wiser, so try and see the funny side?

Look, if it helps you any, I once used my mum's deodorant bottle. I gave it a swill afterwards, obvs. (Mum's the word...) :yesyes:

[Scass]

You still feel bad even though your post was from 2016?
They are fine, you are fine. No harm done except in your own head.