View Full Version : Chicken or egg depression or anixety
Morning all. Ive suffered from anxiety on and off for years in varying degrees but I think this episode is knocking me for six. Ive had a number of stressors including my parents separating in their 60's and my dad recently getting back with the woman he left my mum in the 90's for (he has told my younger sister but not me). My mum had a health scare this year and suffers from depression (though refuses to acknowledge) so I am always worrying about her. My eldest son is staying in Oz for the next 4 years which is fantastic but I miss him terribly and after a few years of trouble with my youngest and drugs finally he is settled. The latter I had to deal with alone as his dad refuses to speak to me since he got remarried - why I have never been told. My friends are few and far between but one has consistently let me down this year and I have tried to make arrangements to meet but she just seems to forget or ignore. I know people are busy but this hasnt helped my feelings of isolation. At work I am doing just fine - I love my job, I am studying and earning well and though I have had a couple of staff who have been difficult to deal with, one my boss decided to let go just before xmas (that was unpleasant) I am happy with my work. I have a lovely home which I am comfortable in and a wonderful dog who keeps me fit and active! My marriage however has been a constant source of stress this year even though I only married in March. Husband has been on dating sites and says it was because he feels I dont listen to him.The latest episode he blamed on me going on his emails so he decided to give me something to find. I do have trust issues which he didnt help with at all.We have a relationship counselling session booked but this has all been thrown a huge curve ball as we had a car accident on Xmas eve. Thankfully we both got out with a bruise or two but it wasnt pleasant. I am proud of myself that I am dealing with it so well with my anxious nature - It very much is a case of it is what it is, a car can be replaced and I am fine. I seem to be good in a crisis but not in simple things! What I am cautious of happening though is that we ignore all the crap and see this as a wake up call. I do love my husband but I am still unsure of his emotions - he kept me safe with his quick thinking in the accident but that doesnt change what he did. My eating and sleeping are all out of whack and some of the anxiety issues I had been working on (like travelling on trains) have increased. I did get straight back in a car two days after and though I was nervous I drove. I am guessing that these feelings I have are perfectly normal and I just need to give myself time and tlc? I dont want to take meds as I dont feel I need them. Any advice i greatly appreciated.
I understand how you feel. We do get better. Eventually. It takes time and it certainly isn't an easy road with many ups and downs. You've had a lot going on in your life and anxiety is a natural reaction. I don't agree with your husband looking on dating sites though! You need as much support as you can get and that can only undermine you.
Ive two little dogs who I adore and also are the most amazing medicine for me. It's amazing the power of animals.
Just keep being strong and you'll reap the rewards x
Thank you for your kind words. I've felt better as the day has progressed having had a trip to the park with my nephew. I haven't had any counselling for myself as I thought i don't want to dwell on the reasons why but would rather work on getting rid of the anxiety and/or managing it when it happens. That may change!. Trust issues go back a long way to my first relationship and I've had them since. I recall my first panic attacks around 13/14 when my grandad died - frightening and I kept it to myself. Since then I've put up with it on and off. Recently I've noticed a decline in my confidence levels and I do male up scenarios in my relationship but then get proved right! I don't think hubby wanted to do anything he knows how I feel and at the moment is being a rock. I can't think past today at the minute but we will be going to couples counselling. I'm also off work at the moment as I work in a school so my usual immerse myself in work isn't there! At least I don't feel like I dud this morning when I was sure I was losing it. Anxiety is hideous xxx
Morning all. A much better start to the day so far. Woke at 3 am with anxiety - aching tense arms nausea etc but managed to get back to sleep til 5. Up and about with a cup of tea but hungry as I've eaten very little over the last 48hrs which I'm sure isn't helping. No guarantee I might not have a wobble but trying to be positive. I know from experience mornings are always worse!
So this morning isn't good so far. Less crying but my body is full of anxiety which is awful. Managed to eat a banana and drink some tea. Very difficult seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and having those oh so familiar this time last week I was find thoughts. No full blown panic. Am going to go for a swim see if that helps
Morning all. A much better start to the day so far. Woke at 3 am with anxiety - aching tense arms nausea etc but managed to get back to sleep til 5. Up and about with a cup of tea but hungry as I've eaten very little over the last 48hrs which I'm sure isn't helping. No guarantee I might not have a wobble but trying to be positive. I know from experience mornings are always worse!
Try and eat little and often. I try not to go over three hours without eating as it keeps blood sugar stabilised. Anxiety is generally worse when you don't eat. Doesn't have to be anything major, a couple of crackers will do as a snack. Try and avoid stimulants and food high in sugar.
I'm always amazed at how in the morning I can feel so awful and here I am now feeling like normal! It's like a fog lifts and hello normal service is resumed! Even managed a jacket potato and beans! What's that all about!!!
Four days later and I feel almost back to normal (whatever that is!). The key has been eating little and often (thanks NoraB) amd above all else distraction. Getting out of the constant introspection by mahjong, reading and walking or swimming. I have no doubt had I been back at work that would have helped too. The hard work now starts unravelling my marital issues and also looking at my overall anxiety but I wanted to post a positive. I've had sone great support and will continue to use the site - it's invaluable! !!!
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