View Full Version : relapse
Hi, i have suffered with years with anxiety and depression and tried varrious meds with little or no effect. Since Septemeber i have been taking a daily combination of escitalopram (10mg), mirtazpine (15mg) and pregabalin (2 x 100mg). This seems to have heped, but i have crashed over the festive period, a time which i have always found difficult. Should i still get bad times, even though on such a combination? I thought i shouldn't still get issues. Like i say, the last 3 months have been very good, so feel kinda crushed that i have had a relapse. Any advice?
Jacqueline7
29-12-16, 14:37
Unfortunately relapses are part of the deal for me and many others regardless of medicAtion.
Good times are there to be savoured meaning we are the select few who tastes the freedom of peace and therefore cherish the simplest of things.
Ie we have seen hell and heaven is the lightness of balance of body and mind
But setbacks can. Be part of recovery and are torturous as I am in the midst now
You r not alone especially at the precious but tough time of year
Jackie
so are you on meds and have relapses still?
Jacqueline7
29-12-16, 18:33
Yes and yes. And I'm a yoga teacher who teaches yoga to people like me and u xx
Claire weekes explains setbacks in her book self help for your nerves. Knowledge doesn't make setback any prettier but it is a book of explanation that I always find comfort in at times like this
You will come thru this. Don't give up on your tablets. Or your ability to get thru this again
Jackie
thanks for info, good to know the relapses still can happen on meds
Still not feeling back to normal, though bit better, should i see about dose increase or play things out ?
Jacqueline7
04-01-17, 16:00
If u feel an increase could be the key then really my attitude to recovery is x whatever it takes.
My relapse is so bad. Start off the day feeling strong and trying to accept but as it intensifies I fall to my knees.
Know the blips are a part of this but by all means if the size u r on is small talk to your doctor xx
Take. Care
Jacqueline
I am feeling bit better today, and even cycled 20 miles, but it is still nagging away at me and not the way i felt the last 3 months which were the best i have had in years which coincided with me starting the combination of meds i am on. Thought i was really sorted with this combo as i have been so good. Frustrating to crash down again
Personally I wouldn't be in a hurry to ask for an increase in these meds. It sounds as if you are doing very well and don't fear the worst if you are not feeling as good as you have done over the past few months. Meds may help but are not the be-all-and-end-all.Have confidence in yourself and your continued recovery?
The problem with me is my issues are genetic rather caused by a specific reason or event. I have tried CBT, relaxation techniques, counselling and variety of meds to no effect. This combo seems to have worked well for me but wonder if slight increase may prevent blips like this
Hi, I too am suffering a blip/relapse that started last week when I got a horrible cold and had a couple of sleepless nights. All of a sudden after 10 weeks of feeling great on a new combination of meds (10mg citalopram in the morning and 15mg Mirtazapine at night) the anxiety crept in last Thursday and I'm back to struggling to sleep, shaking, feeling sick and feeling so agitated. It's the first time I've had a relapse while on medication, any previous times I was off all meds. I don't have a specific reason or even that causes this anxiety either, we think mine is hormonal.
Have you decided to ask about a med increase? I spoke to my CPN but she didn't suggest any change to my meds, just told me to keep practicing challenging my thoughts and doing all the things that help relax me, easier said than done!
I hope you are making progess, Jen x
Hi, good to know I'm not alone, but sorry you're feeling this way too.
How long have you been on your meds for?
I'm up and down still, that's two weeks now. I don't think it is as bas as has been in the past, but that doesn't make things much easier to take
I have struggled since my first pregnancy in 2007, I've had long periods of being well in that time, some of it on meds, some of it off them. I was unwell exactly this time last year and tried citalopram for 4 weeks, it sent me crazy so they put me on mirtazapine. It was like a lightbulb going on, I felt so much better very quickly. I then had a crazy (but fun) filled few months with weddings and hen nights then a lovely family holiday where I totally relaxed and had a few glasses of wine each night. I came back from the hol and started a new contraceptive pill and had a hormone coil removed, this triggered a really bad 4 month episode. I continued the mirtazapine and they added the citalopram on top (10mg). I had a great November and December, back at work full time, doing all the school runs, I felt relaxed and really happy. Then as I say I had a bad cold last week and the anxiety just reappeared, within hours. I've kept going with the usual routine, kids are back at school and I've come into work every day. I just feel wiped out by it all but when the anxiety gets really bad it's like I have electricity running through me and as tired as I am I can't relax or settle. I think I'm worrying because I thought I had it cracked, the meds were doing the job, I was past all the side effects and I was enjoying life again. Now I'm wondering where do I go from here, do I ride it out without an increase in meds, is it just that I still have a bit of a virus (I have awful coldsores) and if I can relax as much as possible it will calm dowm...
I am putting mine down to time of year and hopefully just a blip, will give it till next week see if things improve. Lack of sleep and illness can trigger it for me too, so that may not have helped you.
I thought I had cracked it too this time. I have tried lots of different meds over years and this is best I had been in a long time, thanks to paying for a private psychiatrist. I am back at work after holidays so that is keeping me busy and trying to get on with things, but still feeling agitated and hard to relax and sit down. The agitation feeling is horrible. I try to go out running or cycling after work to try burn some of the adrenaline off, and it helps a bit, but isn't making me feel like I did couple weeks ago where is was feeling on top of the world, it is so frustrating
I'm not much of a runner but I do walk the dog and I feel it helps in the short term, I can sit and relax a bit when I get back home. It sounds like we are in a very similar situation just now, we were doing well and settled on meds and then out of the blue we have hit this blip... I hope a few days will see us both improving. Do you have much support at home? My husband is great, not a talker but he lets me take it easy when I'm struggling.
yes, I have a very understanding wife, sometime wonder how she manages to put up with it all
I'm very used to feeling agitation and it is very distressing and uncomfortable but I think the more you react to it and want it to go the worse it will feel and the more prominence it will have in your life. Shiznit, you are under the care of a psychiatrist so you are not on your own with this. This blip may well just pass and if it doesn't then you can talk things over with your psych and see what he/she suggests?
Not really under the care of a psych, paid for a private appointment with local Priory to get assessment and decision on meds as my own GP's weren't sure and would take an age on the NHS. She was good to be fair, and prescribed me the pregabalin to take alongside the mirt/escitlaopram combo, and even phoned my GP to talk this through with him and he is left to deal with it. She did say I could phone back for follow ups so may be worth it, even if it does cost
Well it may be worth seeing the psych again if you feel you should discuss a possible increase in your meds combo-I doubt whether your GP would want to take responsibility for this anyway as it involve 3 powerful meds and it needs specialist supervision.
yeah I was thinking that, he would prefer id that too I'd imagine
I know my GP wouldn't get involved with increasing/decreasing drug combos prescribed by a psychiatrist and I wouldn't trust his judgement because he's not a specialist. If you are happy with your psychiatrist then I'd go back to her for any advice especially if you are concerned about the blip. When you have felt better for a long stretch of time it's worrying to feel agitated again but it doesn't mean that you're having a relapse.
Jacqueline7
06-01-17, 17:09
Oh girls I'm crying after reading all your posts. My relapse is so bad that today I just wanted to scream for help from someone somewhere xxxx
The agitation and adrenaline is crippling
I am so relieved to not be alone and yet I feel I wouldn't wish this on any of u. And as u say after a period of freedom and peace it's heart breaking
Take care
Jacqueline
I'm a guy!:D, but yes feel your pain. Hope it's just a blip.
Really worst thing is i did so much think that things were getting better for me till this happened.
diamondgeezer65
06-01-17, 20:41
Your not alone. I too have got worse over the festive period with anxiety/depression. Same thing happened last year too, not sure what triggers it though.
are you on meds to "help" geezer?
Jacqueline7
07-01-17, 14:31
Haha sorry
I'm really not good today. Just home from my boys matches and I'm drained with all the adrenaline. How's u
thats a shmae.
I felt crap this morning, but washed car then went out on my bike which has helped massively
---------- Post added at 16:59 ---------- Previous post was at 16:08 ----------
at least you made it out though, that's bonus. Do you find the anxiety reduces as day goe on at all?
Jacqueline7
07-01-17, 19:07
As things start to improve I'll begin to get a few hours peace when I feel light as a feather.
But at the minute it's more or less constant.
Am up at five every morning doing yoga chanting and breathing techniques so I'm hoping it will fall into place soon
So draining
How r u now
at least you have coping strategies and know best things to do to try and control it, that's a bit like me an exercise. Problem is, when you can't get the time to do these coping strategies and agitation sky rockets.
I'm ok ta, the cycle definitely helped me
GlassPinata
07-01-17, 19:16
Me too. I was doing so well all year, and I believe the holidays triggered a relapse. My anxiety is terrible right now. i'm so sorry you're going through this.
:(
Jacqueline7
07-01-17, 19:43
I fit it in so early as I be up early. So 5am. But when your bad I think acceptance that your bad is the key but good god it is damn hard.
Just feel I've been beaten and tortured mentally and physically.
Thinking of u all
Jacqueline
Think that is what has hit me hardest this time, because i really did think things were getting better
I'm in a blip too at the moment. 6 weeks of bliss when I really thought (again) that I'd finally got shot of this bloody thing only for it to come back with a vengeance. When you aren't used to it everything is terrifying and you think you are going right back to where you were originally. But I'm told these blips WILL pass given enough time.. Heres hoping
Don't be terrified by it. I know agitation is horrible but your fear of it returning permanently will keep the adrenaline flowing. You both know that you can live a life without agitation.
Don't be terrified by it. I know agitation is horrible but your fear of it returning permanently will keep the adrenaline flowing. You both know that you can live a life without agitation..
That's very true Pulisa, when I went on holiday to Lanzarote last October my anxiety completely disappeared after 2 days, and I mean completely, so it IS possible for it to go again and we just have to keep pushing on.
.
That's very true Pulisa, when I went on holiday to Lanzarote last October my anxiety completely disappeared after 2 days, and I mean completely, so it IS possible for it to go again and we just have to keep pushing on.
That's a really positive thing, Mojo, and you have to keep reminding yourself of that.
Mines comes and goes and has done for years, thats part of the problem, when you think that you are trying something new and things get better, you think you might have cracked it, then bang it comes back. So frustrating
Jacqueline7
08-01-17, 19:32
This hurts me so badly. When all seems. All and carefree and it returns
To
Me it never gets easier to bear
Jacqueline
Totally agree, never gets easier, if anything only gets harder
Jacqueline7
09-01-17, 14:49
How r u all today. What a rollercoaster I'm drained trying to let it be and live
Jacqueline
today was ok, back at work after the holidays so quite busy helped keep my mind active in a good way.
How are you?
Jacqueline7
09-01-17, 21:28
Kids all back at school so hectic but went for a swim and did a few hours yoga. Symptoms bad but I seemed able to cope with them better if that makes sense
A few calm moments which was beautiful
Jacqueline
Horrible night, couldn't get to sleep until gone midnight and then awake again at 3am full of adrenaline. Been awake ever since and I've got to be at work by 8am. Got a dreadful cough and cold and a huge cold sore on my lip, oh and my appetite has disappeared again. So fed up with all this.
I know how you feel Mojo, the adrenaline is horrible
---------- Post added at 10:41 ---------- Previous post was at 10:40 ----------
Kids all back at school so hectic but went for a swim and did a few hours yoga. Symptoms bad but I seemed able to cope with them better if that makes sense
A few calm moments which was beautiful
Jacqueline
That's good, I find exercise is the best thing, but can only get in to this after work so daytimes can be a bad time
Jacqueline7
10-01-17, 11:29
Oh it's just so impossible to cope with. I try so hard but was in a meeting there and simply sat with adrenaline pumping thru me while trying to smile and act normal
Help
I am thinking of u all
Jacqueline
Oh it's just so impossible to cope with. I try so hard but was in a meeting there and simply sat with adrenaline pumping thru me while trying to smile and act normal
Help
I am thinking of u all
Jacqueline
Know exactly how you feel, putting on a calm face while screaming and heart pounding underneath. It feels overwhelming.
What meds is it you are on to help?
Jacqueline7
10-01-17, 17:26
I'm on propanolol and fluoxetine.
I think it's like every aid. It helps but when your going to relapse it's gna happen. That's my experience.
Spend my whole day trying to let it be but just get so tired and overcome. Y the intensity
What do u take
Jacqueline
Hi Jacqueline,
How often do your good and bad spells last? Is it purely anxiety or do you get low/depression with it too?
I get similar, although mine are good weeks and bad weeks.
Jacqueline7
10-01-17, 19:18
I have months of total normality and then it hits and lasts for at least six weeks with real constant adrenaline.
I'm not a worrier and I never really get low. Except at the sheer level of agitation.
This anxiety is so the opposite of me. I'm usually pretty easy going but when it hits nothing is easy. Hate it so much.
Do u get low
Jacqueline, could I ask why you are on fluoxetine if you are normally relatively stable?
I'm on propanolol and fluoxetine.
I think it's like every aid. It helps but when your going to relapse it's gna happen. That's my experience.
Spend my whole day trying to let it be but just get so tired and overcome. Y the intensity
What do u take
Jacqueline
sounds very like me,
i take mirtazapine and pregabalin
Jacqueline7
10-01-17, 20:37
God pulisa I'm not sure. Perhaps because the bad times r very strong. And they last weeks. Then I'll be fine and I imagine it's just fun it's course and all my tools to help it start to kick in. I imagined the fluoxetine is one of those tools. Would u suggest something else
Jacqueline
---------- Post added at 20:37 ---------- Previous post was at 20:36 ----------
Run it's. Course sorry
Yes, I get low moods. I also am a worrier and do overthink. I tend to go in cycles, a few weeks bad, a few weeks good. Currently on Citrolpram 20mg.
Only thing I'd say about fluxotine is I thought it was one of the more activating SSRI's. that said if it's worked for you or helps your GP knows better than me I'm sure.
I wouldn't dare suggest anything else as I'm not a medic but fluoxetine can be an activating drug and a lot of people can't tolerate it. I certainly couldn't but I can't take any SSRIs. But you seem to have been fine on fluoxetine outside of these agitation episodes and at least you know that this will pass and you will go back to feeling stable.
Jacqueline7
11-01-17, 05:50
It's just heartbreaking that it's so strong when it comes. Years ago it was constant. But a mix of yoga Claire weekes and the meds now seem to give me peace. I yet fall completely apart.
I have five kids and such a busy life but when this hits I want to crawl into a corner and not move. Can't when u have kids so I spend each second wishing it away but then trying to accept. It's as if your body is attacking itself
Pulisa do u get breaks between this. How do u. Cope
No I'm used to living with agitation. Meds make it worse and as I'm a carer for my autistic daughter I just do as best I can and take each day as it comes. I also have an eating disorder so this complicates things.
You'll get back to your normal self soon, Jacqueline. Try not to get too angry with the agitation? It'll make things worse for you.
Jacqueline7
11-01-17, 10:27
U r so right. Frustration heightens it so much. I too suffered anorexia in my twenties but fully recovered.
Do u ever get peace from your agitation. So hard isn't it.
Do u have any time for yourself to help get better
I have periods of weeks, sometimes months with no issues at all, then bang, the agitation is back which also has knock on effect of feeling depressed, this can last for few weeks then lifts again. It's hard for people to understand that it is a way different feeling of anxiety/agitation than what is "normal" anxiety
I actually prefer to be busy because I hate having spare time (not that I have much anyway). I know that's not a good thing but it's how I've lived most of my life. My lifestyle as a carer obviously contributes to how I feel but I have always had an anxiety disorder so it has just continued throughout my life. I accept it and manage it as best I can-the relatively recent death of my Dad has affected me badly though and the agitation is worse now but I'll survive...as you will.
Just carry on writing your feelings on here if it helps? I admire you for your yoga expertise-I'd need a general anaesthetic for that!:D
Jacqueline7
11-01-17, 12:21
I teach it most nights xx talking to others seems to help and I. Stopped pretending everything is wonderful. When it's bad I tell my family it's bad so they can know and go easy. Not my kids my parents etc.
Y. Could u not do yoga. I watched my 78 year old yoga teacher slowly cure a desperately ill girl from anorexia. It was amazing. I didn't recognise her.
I'm the same, to the extent that I think is this really anxiety because when I read about other's experiences I don't seem to fit the criteria, yet my GP says definitely anxiety so who am I to argue?
GAD covers a huge spectrum, I suppose. I don't relate to many people's symptoms either.
I didn't think other folk were like me, taking meds but still have issues.
what really gets me is that it all comes and goes, most people seem to have the issue, take the meds and its gone. I always hoped this was going to work for me.
Spare time is bad for me too, really try keep busy to keep the anxiety at bay, I seem to be at my worst when I have nothing to do
Jacqueline7
11-01-17, 21:20
Just so bloody hurtful and hard to manage. How was everyone's day
Hi how are well all?
I've treated myself to a SAD lamp see if helps with my low mood as hate the dark mornings/nights.
Also had a private consultation with my pysch yesterday, we have upped the dose of my mirtazapine to 30mg and to come off the SSRI I was taking to see if that helps. Trouble with me is that I have been like this so long, cycling between normal periods and anxious times and tried so many techniques and meds that I am losing faith in anything working!
Anyway, got to keep plugging away
Jacqueline7
13-01-17, 12:50
Doesn't it just get so tough to bear when u seem to be doing all u can. And yet it seems to return
I am so sick of each second not knowing how strong the feelings will be as if my whole life is on hold because I'm so overwhelmed by just doing the day to day stuff
I adore my whole mad chaotic life until this descends and then all goodness feels lost
Cried in the car yesterday why bloody me.
Jackie
Doesn't it just get so tough to bear when u seem to be doing all u can. And yet it seems to return
I am so sick of each second not knowing how strong the feelings will be as if my whole life is on hold because I'm so overwhelmed by just doing the day to day stuff
I adore my whole mad chaotic life until this descends and then all goodness feels lost
Cried in the car yesterday why bloody me.
Jackie
That's a feeling I get whenever feel bad "why me?", it is soul destroying. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but just wish someone else had it rather than me!
Jacqueline7
13-01-17, 14:57
So true. Like. Could u take a double dose for me. Then I'd be free. I'll take yours in the ne t lifetime deal
Jacqueline7
14-01-17, 15:13
Ohhhh holy lord today was bad. The agitation that built inside me was so strong I simply fell apart.
So disheartening to try all u can and then a strong bout comes and I crumble under the weight of it.
I simply can't seem to just let it be when it's that strong the fear consumes me. Then afterwards I'm convinced I'm gna die but I so so love life
Feeling so hard done by today
Any body having a well deserved good day
Hi Jacqueline. Sorry you are having such a bad day, just remember that this is temporary and WILL eventually subside, but God it's hard to carry on when you feel so dreadful isn't it?
Also like you I was under the impression that the medication would get rid of it, I had read so many posts saying "After about a month I was back to normal and stayed like that for another 10 years until I had a sudden relapse" Well that hasn't happened to me, yes the symptoms are less severe, but they are there all day every day simmering in the background. The only time I felt "normal" again if you like was when I went on holiday in October to Lanzarote for 2 weeks. It completely disappeared after day one and it was absolute paradise. As soon as I got back to the UK it returned and has been there ever since. It's so disappointing because I've tried really hard to change things in my life which I felt were contributing towards my condition, but nothing seems to help except on a temporary basis.
How are you feeling now, any better? What have you been doing today?
Jacqueline7
14-01-17, 17:25
Today hasn't really had much peace.
I was busy at matches and shopping for food. Now I'm resting at home but the simmering unease affects every step I take. Every thought and every movement.
Oh god I know when u get peace it is paradise. I know that I do believe the only positive thing in this mess is that in times of peace we are so content with the normal things that others take for granted
But ATM it seems light years away.
How has your day been.
A shit day. Dont know how much more i can take. Im so fed up of suffering.
Jacqueline7
19-01-17, 16:33
Such a bad day. No real breaks from the fear of bloody nothing xx
Constant nervousness and agitation.
Feel for u so much. Try to be strong but god it's tough
How's u
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