View Full Version : Fear of STD (Advices would be so good for me thanks)
irrationaldolphin
29-12-16, 21:38
Hi everyone.
My name is Mary and I am 20.
I suffer from health anxiety until the point that it is consuming my life. Here's my story.
alth anxiety.
6 months ago a boy that I didn't know kissed me when we were dancing in a club. It was just one kiss. Few seconds. But I overreacted and started to think that he might be infectous of some STD.
I went to many doctors and they all told me the same. It is almost impossible to get any STD from a kiss, from saliva or even with little wounds in the mouth. But I thought of all the possibilities. What if he had a wound or little bit of blood on his lips at that very moment? You never know. So finally, as I insisted, I got tested 3 and 4 months after that kiss of hiv, hepatitis a b c and syphyllis. (Don't know if they are written correctly, sorry, I am spanish). The results came in and they were all negative. But the time passes by and I am still anxious, nervous and afraid of having any STD from that damn kiss.
I just do not know what to do anymore to relax myself and to be calm and feel relieved again. I really feel relieved when I knew that I was negative but now everything has come to the beginning and I am like... Anxious all the time again. A friend told me of this page and thought that I ain't got nothing to lose if I contacted you. I hope you can give me any advice to cope with this or your opinion.
Furthermore, I want to tell you that you are not alone and we are many people suffering for things like this. Many doctors even didn't want to test me 'cause they were so sure that I had nothing, but I insisted anyway 'cause that the thing that would calm me the most. So, listen to them but if you want medical accuracy and scientific proofs, GET TESTED. That is the most important and relieved thing.
Again, sometimes that would be completely helpful or, as in my case, it may won't be enough - but definetely so helpful.
Thank you so much in advance.
Scared2death21
29-12-16, 21:48
Do you have any symptoms? As far as I know, only herpes can be transmitted by a kiss, and it's basically harmless from what I understand.
irrationaldolphin
29-12-16, 23:27
Do you have any symptoms? As far as I know, only herpes can be transmitted by a kiss, and it's basically harmless from what I understand.
I don't have any. But many STDs can be in your body without any symptoms. That's why I decided to get tested anyway. You can't trust your symptoms and this is an advice for anyone struggling with something like this.
I was with a little cold when this happened and that was theorically a symptom of hiv so I was scared to death 'cause I thought it was because of that. Every doctor doubted it and thought I was crazy. I got tested 3 times. All negative.
Any symptom can mean many things and do not confirm you have a disease.
Tests and anylisis is what confirm you have a disease, whatever the kind. So don't trust your symptoms. They can mean a lot of things.
It's unlikely you could have had anything transmitted. Where you're from do they have walk in clinics? If so you can usually go when you have free time and get tested usually as often as you want and they often test for everything while you're there, it's a normal worry at your age and definitely positive that you're conscious of these things just try to reassure yourself that it is unlikely to catch anything other than herpes via kissing :)
---------- Post added at 00:39 ---------- Previous post was at 00:37 ----------
Also get tested as often as makes you comfortable drs may seem to be off but if 3 times made you feel better so be it! I used to get tested every other month for my own peace of mind at your age and I was with 1 person in a long term relationship the whole time
Frankly, I disagree. That's unnecessary and a waste of time and resources. If you cannot trust someone you're in a monogamous relationship with, end the relationship. Think about how that must feel to your partner. If I was with someone that was constantly checking themselves for STDs, I would leave as my own trust in them would be questioned.
Positive thoughts
I use to be very promiscuous in my college years. It's very hard to catch an std by kissing.I caught mono once but it was like strep throat nothing too serious but it sucked. As for testing for reassurance your just feeding the dragon. If you practice safe sex and don't go around kissing random people you will be fine .
irrationaldolphin
30-12-16, 13:07
First of all, thanks to everyone.
As I said I wasn't ni a relationship. I was drinking in a club with a friend and that boy just danced with me and wanted to kissed me. I aparted myself immediately but it was a kiss anyway. So, as I don't know him, I got worried.
Every doctor told me about mononucleosis and that that was the only thing I may caught during a kiss.
But I was worried about little wounds in the mouth or anything like that although the contact was minimum. I know it sounds absurd. I'd probably get tested again but they only tested me of hiv, hepatitis a b c and syphyllis. Not ghonorrea or chlaymidia, for example. So I was worried anyway. And my doctor just thinks it is crazy so she tested me to get rid of me I think. I don't wanna go again.
Anyway, thank you so much again.
First of all, thanks to everyone.
As I said I wasn't ni a relationship. I was drinking in a club with a friend and that boy just danced with me and wanted to kissed me. I aparted myself immediately but it was a kiss anyway. So, as I don't know him, I got worried.
Every doctor told me about mononucleosis and that that was the only thing I may caught during a kiss.
But I was worried about little wounds in the mouth or anything like that although the contact was minimum. I know it sounds absurd. I'd probably get tested again but they only tested me of hiv, hepatitis a b c and syphyllis. Not ghonorrea or chlaymidia, for example. So I was worried anyway. And my doctor just thinks it is crazy so she tested me to get rid of me I think. I don't wanna go again.
Anyway, thank you so much again.
The notion of catching an STD from a kiss is completely and utterly absurd. Stop getting tested, stop going to doctors, stop obsessing over it. You absolutely 100% do not have an STD because of one kiss. Jesus, if I worried about an STD every time I kissed a stranger I'd have probably been dead by the age of 20.
Seriously, stop worrying about this, it's irrational in the extreme.
irrationaldolphin
30-12-16, 16:45
The notion of catching an STD from a kiss is completely and utterly absurd. Stop getting tested, stop going to doctors, stop obsessing over it. You absolutely 100% do not have an STD because of one kiss. Jesus, if I worried about an STD every time I kissed a stranger I'd have probably been dead by the age of 20.
Seriously, stop worrying about this, it's irrational in the extreme.
That's what I need to hear. Thank you. But I don't know why I can't stop obsessing about it. I know it is absurd and I know it is obsessive but I can't stop thinking about germs, virus and any kind of wound that person could have had.
Every doctor has told me the exact thing you just said and I am working on it, on believing it, on constant reassurance of logical thoughts like yours. That's what I constantly need so thank you for opening my eyes a little bit more!
That's what I need to hear. Thank you. But I don't know why I can't stop obsessing about it. I know it is absurd and I know it is obsessive but I can't stop thinking about germs, virus and any kind of wound that person could have had.
Every doctor has told me the exact thing you just said and I am working on it, on believing it, on constant reassurance of logical thoughts like yours. That's what I constantly need so thank you for opening my eyes a little bit more!
A constant need for reassurance is all part of the anxiety cycle, and its a cycle you need to break. Think about it, why would a number of doctors, and pretty much anyone you ask about it, all tell you it's impossible? Why would all your test results all say there's no sign of any STD?
Do you think the doctors, us, the people around you and the people in the lab who exam these tests are all in some big conspiracy to dupe you into believing this is all just silly? Do you think that numerous doctors are stupid, and that you're the first human on this planet who's caught chlamydia or gonorrhoea from one kiss?
Come on now, think about. You don't need any more reassurance about this, you just need to think sensibly and stop allowing silly illogical thoughts in.
irrationaldolphin
31-12-16, 13:46
A constant need for reassurance is all part of the anxiety cycle, and its a cycle you need to break. Think about it, why would a number of doctors, and pretty much anyone you ask about it, all tell you it's impossible? Why would all your test results all say there's no sign of any STD?
Do you think the doctors, us, the people around you and the people in the lab who exam these tests are all in some big conspiracy to dupe you into believing this is all just silly? Do you think that numerous doctors are stupid, and that you're the first human on this planet who's caught chlamydia or gonorrhoea from one kiss?
Come on now, think about. You don't need any more reassurance about this, you just need to think sensibly and stop allowing silly illogical thoughts in.
You are making me opening my eyes so thank you so much in advance.
It's not like that. Well, there are many doctors that have no idea about anything but it is not that I don't believe them in this case because I have been to many of them and they all told me the same. It is that I think they are forgetting about some possibilities and just focusing on the general - obviously it is absurd to think you can catch any STD - or whatever disease - from a kiss but what if is not impossible and I just ignore it but after few years they discover I have one bad disease and it is too late? It's that what scares me. Some weird feeling consumes me and does not let me think rationally. But I know you're right. I just don't know how to stop that feeling. I just wanna let it go.
I see a lot of the word "but" in your responses. As Yoda would say...
"There is no but, only impossibility"
Positive thoughts
You are making me opening my eyes so thank you so much in advance.
It's not like that. Well, there are many doctors that have no idea about anything but it is not that I don't believe them in this case because I have been to many of them and they all told me the same. It is that I think they are forgetting about some possibilities and just focusing on the general - obviously it is absurd to think you can catch any STD - or whatever disease - from a kiss but what if is not impossible and I just ignore it but after few years they discover I have one bad disease and it is too late? It's that what scares me. Some weird feeling consumes me and does not let me think rationally. But I know you're right. I just don't know how to stop that feeling. I just wanna let it go.
So it's not about you not believing them, it's more about you thinking that not only one, but several doctors, are so collectively stupid that they've forgotten to check for something? What ifs are stupid, also. What if your head falls off? What if your goldfish sprouts legs and decides to set fire to your house while you're sleeping?
Absurd enough for you? Because trust me, none of those possibilities are any less or more absurd than the scenario you're painting here. Stop saying "yeah but" and "what if", you've got the answers, you've got the evidence, it's now up to you and you alone to accept that and move on.
irrationaldolphin
31-12-16, 14:45
So it's not about you not believing them, it's more about you thinking that not only one, but several doctors, are so collectively stupid that they've forgotten to check for something? What ifs are stupid, also. What if your head falls off? What if your goldfish sprouts legs and decides to set fire to your house while you're sleeping?
Absurd enough for you? Because trust me, none of those possibilities are any less or more absurd than the scenario you're painting here. Stop saying "yeah but" and "what if", you've got the answers, you've got the evidence, it's now up to you and you alone to accept that and move on.
Yeah, actually I am so negative always. And I tend to think "what ifs" so much. And it gets much more complicated and obsessive when it comes to my health, even when it is as absurd as this. One of my friends got through the same but now she is okay. One of my doctors even told me to laught at myself because it is THAT absurd. She was like "wtf?" and told me I had to live my life without thinking about this and withouth cheking on the internet (I do that a lot too and it gets so sick).
But when my mind gets so obsessive not even the busiest day gives me peace. I was so good actually in November and did not think about it 'cause I accepted as what it is. Now it just came back to the beginning, I don't know why.
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