Tell Me About Your Therapy Experience

[incunables]

Greetings, All! I made my first therapy appointment for January 16th after a severe and pretty ridiculous leukemia scare. Of course, as soon as I was done at the doctor being convinced that I didn't have leukemia, I was immediately convinced that I had either skin cancer or MS/ALS, because that's how I roll. I'm tired of this going unchecked, and know that I need to start working on it.

This will be my first experience and was wondering how it has gone for others here. Did it help? Did it not? What helped you get the most out of the experience? Have you continued to go? I'd be grateful for anything you'd be willing to share.

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I don't know how similar the service is between the USA and the UK, but I'll tell you a bit about my experience anyway.

When I first went to see a therapist, I was incredibly unwell with anxiety. I look back now and struggle to picture what the problem was. I just remember feeling ill from head to toe, like a broken shell of a man. I was permanently terrified and scared I was about to die. My thinking was also deeply irrational and my mind constantly raced.

I walked straight from work to my first appointment and began choking on the way. When I arrived, I told my therapist about the choking and how I expected it to come up during the session and how I might end up being sick. Fortunately, it stopped, and I was very grateful to be in the presence of somebody so kind, knowledgeable and understanding as the therapist I was assigned to.

I had ten sessions. The first five, were just me sitting across from my therapist, desperately wishing it would all go away. By this point I was also experiencing deep and persistent depersonalisation and derealisation. The only thing that kept me going was my therapist explaining that he understood the condition I had and had successfully treated many people who were worse than me. I believe him on that, even though it felt hard to imagine anyone feeling worse at the time.

The first half of my course of therapy were spent looking for techniques and ways that might help calm my racing mind and anxious body. Some things seemed daft, and some just made me worse. But through it all, my therapist was kind and patient and he always seemed to believe I could get better. We also spent a lot of time writing down my thoughts and fears, and then countering them with more positive thoughts. This did help to an extent, and I continue to do this to this day.

The breakthrough for me came when we start working on visualisations. My therapist had a soothing voice, and I remember closing my eyes and him guiding me through a series of visualisations of peaceful settings. It was a like a light came on for me. For the first time in a long time, I felt genuine relaxation. It was temporary of course, but one of the key things about therapy is not to expect it to be a magic cure that chases everything away all at once.

I started finding relaxing recordings and visualisations on the internet to listen to at home. I also came upon mindfulness and began exploring it in conjunction with what I was learning in CBT. Around this time, my antidepressant medication also started to kick in. By the end of the sessions, I was like a different person. My therapist saw it too. He was good enough to help me come up with plans for how to continue without his guidance, and there are a number of things I do that I learned in therapy that really benefit me.

I was lucky. I got a very good therapist with whom I was able to build a rapport and whose company I actually miss. I also found an antidepressant that really works for me. But I also put in my own work. Even at my worst, I remained positive about my treatment, but without expecting it to fix me all at once. I knew that lasting recovery would come from within, not from without.

I hope you're lucky enough to get someone who you can also build a rapport with and who will be patient with you and work well with you to find the best way to help you. My only advice is to stay as positive as possible, don't expect to feel better after one or two sessions, don't see your therapist as a magician who will make it all go away, but see the experience as a helping hand on your journey to better mental health.

[Anka]

Hi there.I thought I will share my story with you and hopefully it will be useful.My HA started about 5 years ago. It started as a scare that every single thing I had was a terrible illness but then it all concentrated on being just one-MS.So for the past 4 years that was my only obsession.There is a background story for my fear.My dad who is no longer here and my younger sister both have it.The doctors said it is not genetic but simply bad luck my sister had it as well.
I refused to take antidepressants from the beginning so started therapy 4 years ago.Around the same time I fell pregnant with my 3rd child and my HA was gone completely!I stopped my therapy as I thought it was the end of HA.I had 9 months of a normal life,enjoyable and HA free.However when my child was growing HA was coming back.I was fighting it and it was getting worse each day.One day when I rushed to GP with another crazy symptom he said that it was time to seek help again .
.My first sessions I was telling all about my life and my HA.I was crying in front of unknown man as a crazy woman.It was so hard.He told me to get the book on HA and start reading which I did.It was very helpful.And then we started the therapy.I had to do so many things.The hardest one was I had to face my fear of MS:I had to read MS suffers stories,visit graveyard,listen to bad news and read about them.All those things I was avoiding for years.Every day was a struggle but as my therapist said it would get better.It did.I had therapy for a year now and my next session is going to be my last one.I still have ups and downs but when it happens I get my notes out and remind myself again that I have HA and not MS.
So do give CBT a chance but it will be a hard work and it won't happen quickly but from personal experience it does work.So good luck!