Lowest I've Ever Felt

[Vigilante]

I really need some advice/support someome to talk to or anything right now.
I have personally never ever felt as low as I do at this moment in time, I'm feeling low in confidence, self esteem, depressed, irritated, anxious, angry, unloved, unwanted. I keep breaking down into tears every single day.

Health wise my vision is still decreasing daily, I now have blind spots in both eyes and the rest a visual snow like fog with everything made of white dots.

I have 2 clean head ct scans and 1 clean head & orbits mri with contrast, im due follow up at opthalmology on 6th jan, but they are yet to see an eye issue. I'm worried I have nvCJD, its 12 months since visual symptoms started.

I also am feeling low over not feeling wanted in a relationship.

I'm double dosing clonazepam without drs orders, I'm so stuck and completely lost.

[ScaredLizard]

I don't really have advice excited I'm sorry you are stuck in a rut right now. Please don't be double dosing the clonazepam! That could be causing vision issues.

Is there anything you do that helps your anxiety? Coping strategies?

[cattia]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Most of us have been there, when anxiety turns to depression and it feels like you don't know where to turn to make things better. With my latest bout of HA I have had a lot of visual disturbances including really bad visual snow, after images, feeling that I can't focus, eye strain and even seeing flashes or spots. I have done some research of my own into visual disturbances and anxiety, and found that anxiety can have a profound effect on your vision. Your eye muscles are very sensitive and when you are stressed you get eye strain very easily which effects the nerves in your eyes and can even temporarily reduce the quality of your vision. In addition to that, your senses are heightened and being on high alert makes you focus on visual phenomena that we would normally just dismiss or not notice. It's kind of like if you're alone in the house at night and you're scared, you hear every tiny sound and it all seems loud and frightening. All the tests you've had would definitely have shown up a problem if there was one.

[Iker20]

Really sorry for everything you are going through, we are here for you