Feeling so poorly and scared

[Bonnibelle]

Sorry to post

All of December I've felt my anxiety creeping back in. I've had anxiety a few years and it comes and goes in severity.

In the last month I've had general anxiety all day, not fast heart or typical anxiety attack symptoms but a general anxiety feeling, nausea, mild weakness, loss of appetite, dread and unease in my stomach. I've had anxiety attacks a few times a week in the last 2 weeks. I've been ill with my thyroid this year but latest blood tests showed all my bloods were good and my gp ran tests on everything yout can imagine in early November. I was relieved and my anxiety improved. Then December hit and I became very anxious about being perfect for Christmas. Scared of being ill in an energy crash that I have had at times this year with my thyroid and worried incase the anxiety returned and I was anxious at Christmas.

My family and I don't have a good relationship. My brother attacked me 4 years ago and since I've cut him out and I have little contact with my sisters and mother as they resented me for not forgiving him. I always dread birthdays and Christmas kmowing they will want to see my children. I started dreading them wanting to see my kids at Christmas. My whole month was fears of being well at Christmas and not being anxious. I put myself under so much stress it was awful. The week before Christmas daily I was crying alone in the bathroom at any opportunity, I couldn't eat anything other than oats and bananas and that was hard. I had to cook for my children but I felt sick just smelling it. By Christmas I felt worn out, I had 3 hours sleep Christmas eve and Christmas day I felt ill like I had a hangover minus alcohol. I had a nice restful day and as the day went on i felt a bit better.

Since Christmas day I've had weak legs and nausea but just told myself it was residue adrenaline in my system. Then 2 days ago my mum turned up at my house wanting to talk. I ran to my bedroom because I didn't want to see her or stress myself as seeing family always causes me stress and huge energy crashes. I ended up sobbing to my mum about how much she's hurt me the last 4 years since my brother attacked me, how she's not been a mum to me and this year being ill physically she's not once taken care of me or asked how I am. She apologised and admitted ahead let me down and abandoned me. It was a tough visit and she didn't live for 5 hours. Yesterday I woke in an awful crash. Weak legs, shaky legs, exhaustion, giddy head and nausea. I panicked because I couldn't even walk to the bathroom. My husband said it was a crash of exhaustion and I needed to rest.

I rested all yesterday in my room. I cried a fair few times as I was terrified everytime I had to walk to the bathroom my legs felt so weak and I felt hungover. I was terrified shaking I was ill and I'd end up in hospital. Having agoraphobia that terrifies me. By the evening I felt about 10% better and I could walk around upstairs. Still weak and giddy but a bit calmer about it. This morning I woke feeling thr same, I showered and made breakfast on my own whole the house slept. I was scared it was the second day of it but tried to remain calm. Ate breakfast which was hard with no appetite but I managed it all.

Just now I went downstairs with hubby to make a cuppa and fold some washing. I felt woozy, shaky legs, weak heavy legs and body and nausea. I felt panic hitting as my mind was telling me I'd collapse and end up needing hospital. I went back upstairs then felt absolutely awful. Panic tried to hit. I sat crying to myself. I told hubby and he said this is all sheer exhaustion fron the heart to heart with my mum and a month of anxiety.

I'm putting myself under pressure to be well by Tuesday as hubby is back to work and how will I cope getting the children to school feeling this bad �� I'm scared and a adding more fear making myself worse. My hubby says me scaring myself this is a health issues is flooding myself with more adrenaline.

My question is can anxiety cause crashes like this? Has anyone experienced this? I've said if im still this bad in a few days I will ask my gp to come visit me and give me a once over but I'm praying I will start to feel better. My hubby says in the meantime I need to stop scaring myself it's health related. I've no fever, bp is normal...it's just this weakness, feeling like I've a hangover and awful nausea. I hope this passes soon it's really scaring me :weep:

Thank you
B XX

[Annie0904]

My question is can anxiety cause crashes like this? Has anyone experienced this? I've said if im still this bad in a few days I will ask my gp to come visit me and give me a once over but I'm praying I will start to feel better. My hubby says in the meantime I need to stop scaring myself it's health related. I've no fever, bp is normal...it's just this weakness, feeling like I've a hangover and awful nausea. I hope this passes soon it's really scaring me :weep:

Thank you
B XX
Yes it can, I have had the same symptoms daily for last few months, hardly been able to function at all and have the added stress of knowing I need to work as hubby is retired but just have no energy to do it. I have been for a walk this morning, just 13 minutes and have come back and collapsed on the sofa :(

[pulisa]

My advice would be to carry on regardless. The more attention you give anxiety symptoms the worse they will affect you. Your husband is right-your blood tests were fine and you are ok. Nothing awful is going to happen to you but you have to believe it.

[Bonnibelle]

Yes it can, I have had the same symptoms daily for last few months, hardly been able to function at all and have the added stress of knowing I need to work as hubby is retired but just have no energy to do it. I have been for a walk this morning, just 13 minutes and have come back and collapsed on the sofa :(

Thanks Ann. I can't believe how poorly I feel. The last 2 days Ann I've not even been able to walk around the house which terrifies me.

Since Christmas I've felt weak and sickly. Every day walking around I felt weak and not quite right but nothing this severe. This has hit the last 2 days and I'm bed bound. Does it sound like how you felt? I'm scared I'm ill or something I feel so sick and weak. It's too hard to carry on as normal because I genuinely feel crashed.

Thank you for replying to me.
B xx

---------- Post added at 14:51 ---------- Previous post was at 14:49 ----------


My advice would be to carry on regardless. The more attention you give anxiety symptoms the worse they will affect you. Your husband is right-your blood tests were fine and you are ok. Nothing awful is going to happen to you but you have to believe it.
Thank you.

I feel so sick and weak I genuinely can't carry on as normal the last 2 days. I have since Christmas. I've let myself feel weak and sickly even though I felt rough but this the last 2 days is a million times worse and I cant even function. It's like a severe hangover where you can't walk around. My husband says I need to rest but while doing so not add fear about what it is and trust anxiety can cause crashes this bad.

[Annie0904]

Yes it is just how I have been, I managed to sit downstairs on the sofa for a little while some days but even that was zapping the energy out of me and I was having to go back to bed. I was like that for most of November right up until a few days ago. I try to do a little something each day (like the walk out today) as I know it helps to do something (even if it makes you more exhausted). Dwelling on the symptoms makes it work.
When I went to bed to rest I took a colouring book or some sewing to take my mind away from my anxious thoughts and to focus on something more practical.
It really is the most awful feeling, especially the constant nausea :(

[Bonnibelle]

Yes it is just how I have been, I managed to sit downstairs on the sofa for a little while some days but even that was zapping the energy out of me and I was having to go back to bed. I was like that for most of November right up until a few days ago. I try to do a little something each day (like the walk out today) as I know it helps to do something (even if it makes you more exhausted). Dwelling on the symptoms makes it work.
When I went to bed to rest I took a colouring book or some sewing to take my mind away from my anxious thoughts and to focus on something more practical.
It really is the most awful feeling, especially the constant nausea :(

Thank you Ann. Would you say it feels like a hangover? It's not just I feel tired I feel ill. I feel weak all over, weak legs, giddy head and severe nausea that even smelling food makes me feel ill. So like a bad hangover. It's so bad I can't even cool meals or walk around because when I do I panic at how dreadful I feel Ann:weep: I've done nothing but cry. Hubby said it's hit this severe since my mother turned up demanding a deep and meaningful and I've crashed from so much emotion and adrenaline and I was already in an anxiety setback.

I've been terrified anxiety can't cause a crash like this and scared it's my health. Hubby doesn't think I need a gp just a rest and let it pass. I'm managing to all to the bathroom today and I've showered. I've been downstairs twice. I'm never this bad it's like a full on crash. Since ChristmasI felt weak legged and sickly and idrained had 2 weeks of anxiety and stress before but I could still cook and function. Now I'm suddenly so ill and it's scaring me.

Thanks for reassuring me. I'm so glad you're improving.
Ju xxx

[Annie0904]

I haven't had a hangover so can't compare but it is very debilitating and I feel really ill. I can't even watch cookery shows on TV because of the nausea. Cry all the time and just want to stay in bed.
When I was like this a few year ago I convinced myself I had a serious illness and it made me even worse. Now I recognise it as anxiety and tell myself I just need to rest and not focus on the symptoms and I feel better quicker. This time it is taking a bit longer to overcome because of events that have happened recently.
Yes anxiety CAN and DOES cause a crash like this. I have had to crawl from my bedroom to the bathroom before because I was too weak to stand up.
I agree with your hubby, you have had good blood test results. Accept it is anxiety and rest, don't focus on the symptoms!
A few weeks ago I couldn't even think about what to take out of the freezer never mind attempt to cook it!
I feel like I have totally skipped out the Christmas season as I wasn't able to join in any of the celebrations at all.

[Bonnibelle]

I haven't had a hangover so can't compare but it is very debilitating and I feel really ill. I can't even watch cookery shows on TV because of the nausea. Cry all the time and just want to stay in bed.
When I was like this a few year ago I convinced myself I had a serious illness and it made me even worse. Now I recognise it as anxiety and tell myself I just need to rest and not focus on the symptoms and I feel better quicker. This time it is taking a bit longer to overcome because of events that have happened recently.
Yes anxiety CAN and DOES cause a crash like this. I have had to crawl from my bedroom to the bathroom before because I was too weak to stand up.
I agree with your hubby, you have had good blood test results. Accept it is anxiety and rest, don't focus on the symptoms!
A few weeks ago I couldn't even think about what to take out of the freezer never mind attempt to cook it!
I feel like I have totally skipped out the Christmas season as I wasn't able to join in any of the celebrations at all.

Ann. Thank you. I feek exactly the same and feel I've missed out on all the Christmas season and just smiled through it for the kids so they don't suspect I'm ill with axniety.

It's my fear it's ill health. I had low sodium last bloods but a week later it went back up. My potassium was 3.4 normal is over 3.5 bur gp said he wasn't concerned so didn't we test it. Me being me I've been worrying myself silly it's that dipped or another fear is I've addisons disease as my face I'd rather colourful recently and I match the symptoms. It's the only thing I've not had tested in my bloods lol!

When I walk to the bathroom I feel so weak, shaky, drained, sick and like I'm about to have a panic attack because I feek that bad. I haven't been able to go downstairs since this morning I feek that bad. Walking to the bathroom I feel bad enough.

I've had a few bad hangovers in my time. I've not drank in 4 years but I remembet the feelings. It's exactly how I feel. So weak and so sick. And it triggers a panic everytime I walk because I get scared of how I feel. Hubby says I have to just accept it's anxiety and stop adding more adrenaline to my body. It's hard. I've crashed this severe since seeing my mum, I cannot believe how awful I feel but I guess it should reassure me it's hit after her visit.
Ju x

[Bananajuice]

I'm new here, I have promised myself that 2017 is the year I'm going to tackle my anxiety head on. I'm medicated for it since a really bad crash in 2011 ish, I obsess about dying and bad things happening to me, my family etc... but previous to that (now knowing its anxiety) I have had problems as a young teenager with agoraphobia, feeling weak and dizzy when walking and wobbly in general. Now I have a diagnosis I can match up all the links. In answer to your question, yes, I feel like its a rollercoaster I'm on. Right now i'm in a big dip, its been awful since Xmas. Thankfully we have good relationships with our family and are lucky that way, but the undue stress of providing a perfect Christmas, on not a lot of money, for the children and also a few extra stresses, like moving in to a new rental home (which had piles of cat poo on the carpet when we arrived with our 3 year old and crawling 9 months olds) its been a real stressful time. I have always been sure that the season plays in to effect with my moods too, I am always worse when its darker in the evenings (perhaps a touch of S.A.D too?) I honestly feel sometimes like everyone else is having a Christmas and I'm just sitting watching them all on a screen, I feel totally detached from the situation when I'm panicking. Feeding the anxiety doesn't help but its SO hard not to! I read something recently that telling someone with depression not to be sad because there was no reason (I interpreted it as not to worry, with anxiety) was the same as telling someone with asthma to breathe properly because there was plenty of air! I am also dreading my partner returning to work (he gets two weeks holiday over Xmas as the factory he works in is closed) it means lots of dark hours alone in the house with the children. Please reach out of you need someone to talk to. I hope to make some friends here xxx

[Annie0904]

I wish you would start listening to your husband!!
You are TALKING yourself into being more anxious. Stop going over and over the symptoms you are feeling and just accept it is anxiety.
Talking to your Mum has made you feel more anxious. You told her how you feel and that won't have been easy to you and you have got anxious about how she would respond.

You need to stop going over what has happened in the past, it can't be changed so don't dwell on it. The fact that you keep mentioning what happened 4 years ago on here and on social media means you are dwelling on it, there is no need to keep repeating it as all that does is fuels you up with more anxiety.

One thing my therapist taught me to do with a very traumatic event involving my ex was to retell the story but change the ending. Really hard to do when you know it was worse! I changed the event totally in my mind and can deal with it better now and don't keep seeing it as it happened. It is something in my mind now that didn't have such awful consequences for me. Sounds silly...I thought it did at the time but maybe change it so you were having a fun fight and laughing about it. Tell the story to your husband then stick with the toned down version. Don't keep repeating what happened in reality.

[Bonnibelle]

I wish you would start listening to your husband!!
You are TALKING yourself into being more anxious. Stop going over and over the symptoms you are feeling and just accept it is anxiety.
Talking to your Mum has made you feel more anxious. You told her how you feel and that won't have been easy to you and you have got anxious about how she would respond.

You need to stop going over what has happened in the past, it can't be changed so don't dwell on it. The fact that you keep mentioning what happened 4 years ago on here and on social media means you are dwelling on it, there is no need to keep repeating it as all that does is fuels you up with more anxiety.

One thing my therapist taught me to do with a very traumatic event involving my ex was to retell the story but change the ending. Really hard to do when you know it was worse! I changed the event totally in my mind and can deal with it better now and don't keep seeing it as it happened. It is something in my mind now that didn't have such awful consequences for me. Sounds silly...I thought it did at the time but maybe change it so you were having a fun fight and laughing about it. Tell the story to your husband then stick with the toned down version. Don't keep repeating what happened in reality.


I agree Ann. For me it's the ongoing turmoil as I still have to cope with contact on birthdays and Christmas from my sisters and my mum. It's what causes this ongoing turmoil and why I can't move on fully. It's a tough situation when children are involved. I am over what my brother did but it's the ongoing sisters and mum situation I struggle with.

I'm worried if I need to see are gp over this. Hubby says non even though I'm struggling to walk the bathroom I feel that bad. I'm already anxious I will wake this bad tomorrow. I will panic even more a third day of it.

Thank you for your kind words and advice.

Ju x

[Annie0904]

You know you probably will wake up like this tomorrow because you are preempting it to happen. You are worrying you will feel the same so you most likely will. Just tell yourself yes I may still be anxious tomorrow but anxiety won't harm me and it is just a blip and I will pick up again soon. That's what I did and I had a few weeks of hell but accepted it was anxiety and my body needed to rest. You mustn't put pressures on yourself. No I have to or I should...no demands on yourself. Your children are old enough to sort themselves out and no it doesn't make you a bad Mum if they have to do things for themselves. Once they are back at school you can relax when they leave for school.
As for seeing your family...you don't HAVE to do anything. If seeing them distresses you so much then could your hubby meet them with the children somewhere? You need to take control and not allow yourself to be intimidated by them. Would the children be very upset if they didn't see them? If you do have to see them then just try to talk about day to day things and avoid talking about past events, if they bring it up then say you don't want to discuss it or just walk away.

Don't expect high anxiety to go overnight because it takes time but don't be frightened of it because all that does is increase the symptoms. Just embrace it and let it happen without fearing it and it will go quicker :)

[Bonnibelle]

You know you probably will wake up like this tomorrow because you are preempting it to happen. You are worrying you will feel the same so you most likely will. Just tell yourself yes I may still be anxious tomorrow but anxiety won't harm me and it is just a blip and I will pick up again soon. That's what I did and I had a few weeks of hell but accepted it was anxiety and my body needed to rest. You mustn't put pressures on yourself. No I have to or I should...no demands on yourself. Your children are old enough to sort themselves out and no it doesn't make you a bad Mum if they have to do things for themselves. Once they are back at school you can relax when they leave for school.
As for seeing your family...you don't HAVE to do anything. If seeing them distresses you so much then could your hubby meet them with the children somewhere? You need to take control and not allow yourself to be intimidated by them. Would the children be very upset if they didn't see them? If you do have to see them then just try to talk about day to day things and avoid talking about past events, if they bring it up then say you don't want to discuss it or just walk away.

Don't expect high anxiety to go overnight because it takes time but don't be frightened of it because all that does is increase the symptoms. Just embrace it and let it happen without fearing it and it will go quicker :)

Hi Ann.

I agree, everytime I stand up my legs feel so weak that I panic and add fear but I don't low how not to. I just ventured downstairs and felt so weak and dizzy but I made it down, got a drink and am playing on the xbox with the kids. It's just so hard I don't know how to not add fear I feel so rough. I'm worried how I will manage if I feel this bad Tuesday whej hubby is back in work if im struggling to come downstairs. So yes adding more fear because I've no choice but to get well asap.

My mum it's difficult as the kids love her so is never stop her visits but all year after every visit I crash just never as bad as this. Any contact with family I end up in bed for a day feeling unwell. Hubby seeing me crash this bad he's said from now on mum arranges visits around us, arranges he just turns up or ignores if I've been unwell when she's asked to visit and come anyway. Hubby said she has to arrange it around us now and limit visits to 2 hours as 5 hours just crashes me..it's too much time wise and also emotionally it drains me that I crash. It's happened all year but she ignored my wishes. In the summer she text asking to visit and this particular day I wasn't too well due to my thyroid and I told her she could visit but alone, she turned up with my sister and 4 niece and nephews. I was so ill and she ignored what I'd asked. It was exhausting and my sister was her usual vile self screaming at her kids. When they left I crashed and was in bed for 2 days.

So I'm used to these crashes but this one is the most severe I've ever had and that's why I'm adding so much fear. My hubby said yes but you were in a general anxiety statea all of december and the chat with your mum just tipped you over. I guess he's right. Now to try and not add fear everytime I walk about and I've cracked it and can start recovering lol.

Thanks
Julie x

[Annie0904]

Worst case scenario at the moment for you is that you still feel bad on Tuesday...so what if you do, it won't be the end of the world. The children can help out. They understand when you are not well. You will be able to do little bits but don't over do it. Order a takeaway for them if you don't feel up to cooking. Stop looking for all the negatives!

Yes your family will have to visit on your terms in future or meet up at a neutral place when you can leave when you want to.

You have managed to get downstairs and play with the kids and even though you might feel dreadful it is still a big positive so be proud of yourself for doing that.

[Bonnibelle]

Worst case scenario at the moment for you is that you still feel bad on Tuesday...so what if you do, it won't be the end of the world. The children can help out. They understand when you are not well. You will be able to do little bits but don't over do it. Order a takeaway for them if you don't feel up to cooking. Stop looking for all the negatives!

Yes your family will have to visit on your terms in future or meet up at a neutral place when you can leave when you want to.

You have managed to get downstairs and play with the kids and even though you might feel dreadful it is still a big positive so be proud of yourself for doing that.

Thank you, great advice Ann. I shall treat them to a takeaway Tuesday night to.end the holidays.

Thank you. I am.quite proud of myself, I felt terrible but I walked downstairs and sat with the kids and now I'm sat in my child's room watching them play. You understand how hard these crashes are so thank you Ann for your support.

Ju x

[Annie0904]

One of my sons came home for his birthday a few weeks and I spent nearly all weekend in bed. I managed to come downstairs to spend about an hour then had to go back to bed. I even missed his birthday dinner. I was pleased to get downstairs for a little while though. He bought me some flowers to cheer me up and my youngest bought me a journal (he was home too) to write all my positive thoughts in.
Be kind to yourself and don't put pressures on yourself to do things. Take each day as it comes and some will be easier than others.

[Bonnibelle]

[QUOTE=Annie0904;1629525]One of my sons came home for his birthday a few weeks and I spent nearly all weekend in bed. I managed to come downstairs to spend about an hour then had to go back to bed. I even missed his birthday dinner. I was pleased to get downstairs for a little while though. He bought me some flowers to cheer me up and my youngest bought me a journal (he was home too) to write all my positive thoughts in.
Be kind to yourself and don't put pressures on yourself to do things. Take each day as it comes and some will be easier than others.[/QUOT

You're doing very well Ann. Be proud.

I've had many a crash when I've send family this year or been poorly with my thyroid crashes. I know they pass but in the thick of it its scary isn't it. This one is very obviously caused by a month of anxiety and stress so I am going to trust the process and know that my body will heal in time. I just need to make some changes this year with my extended family situation to avoid these in the future.

Thank you for your support Ann. Message me anytime, we are both going through the same thing and could always spur eachother on. Xxx

[Annie0904]

I've had many a crash when I've send family this year or been poorly with my thyroid crashes. I know they pass but in the thick of it its scary isn't it. This one is very obviously caused by a month of anxiety and stress so I am going to trust the process and know that my body will heal in time. I just need to make some changes this year with my extended family situation to avoid these in the future.



That is more positive! Keep reading what you have written here and keep thinking this way. It is scary but it's an illness and we can get through it. Don't keep seeing yourself as a victim. You are much stronger than that. You are no longer a victim of anything that has happened in the past...You are a strong survivor! xx

[Bonnibelle]

That is more positive! Keep reading what you have written here and keep thinking this way. It is scary but it's an illness and we can get through it. Don't keep seeing yourself as a victim. You are much stronger than that. You are no longer a victim of anything that has happened in the past...You are a strong survivor! xx

Thanks Ann.

Exactly I've survived a lot and I won't allow those who do so little for me control my emotions anymore.
Xxx

[pulisa]

Maybe don't consider it an illness-more of a condition which you can rise above and manage sometimes better than others? Don't allow yourself to become an invalid because of anxiety. Your husband is trying to help you and is giving you excellent advice, as is Annie.

[Bonnibelle]

Maybe don't consider it an illness-more of a condition which you can rise above and manage sometimes better than others? Don't allow yourself to become an invalid because of anxiety. Your husband is trying to help you and is giving you excellent advice, as is Annie.

I don't see anxiety as an illness because it's not, it's a condition caused by trauma or chronic stress.

I know my husband and Ann have been great and I certainly have taken their advice on board:)

Thank you
B

[Annie0904]

I don't see anxiety as an illness because it's not, it's a condition caused by trauma or chronic stress.

I know my husband and Ann have been great and I certainly have taken their advice on board:)

Thank you
B
It was me that mentioned it being an illness so maybe Pulisa was referring to me there :). It can also be caused by hormone/chemical inbalance. It is not always started by trauma although I know this was the trigger for you Bonniebelle. In referring to it as an illness what I really meant was that if you had flu or some other mental illness then you wouldn't be putting pressure on yourself to be well for tomorrow, you would accept that it takes time to recover. Putting a demand on yourself to be well will only make you feel worse.
I hope you have a better day today. I am up and dressed, makeup on but still feeling exhausted. The sun is shining so I am going to go for a 15 min walk to get some fresh air even though I am thinking I would rather curl up in bed all day :)

---------- Post added at 10:51 ---------- Previous post was at 10:17 ----------

Changed my mind about the walk! The pavement is like a skating rink!