View Full Version : Will things ever change for me??
Well 2 days in to the new year folks and while it's early days I can see little or no change for me. And it's not for the want of trying either. Iam so lost and lonely so hugs are need right now please. Thank you :)
It's so difficult folks. why do people hurt each other make promises, say nice things etc then let you down I can never understand it (:
Aww, I'll give you some hugs Bigboy..:hugs:.
Thank you flip! You know it wouldn't bother me if I actually was a loner then it wouldn't matter if I never met any one, but I am not a loner and need some god company nothing wrong in that :) It's like I was sifting through some old threads and found that a member actually lived in the same town as me! (ok no basis for friendship really) but reading through their posts they were looking for new friends to go out etc. So checked their profile and sadly no link to email them they hadn't been on the forum for over a 1000 days so asked Admins help they kindly sent a email to them and they have been back on the forum read my couple of pm's sent to them but hadn't had the decency to get back to me why???? So naturally I think there is something wrong with me tell me there isn't Thank you flip :)
Don't get hung up on that. Why should they respond?
Anyway, relationships and friendships are a numbers game. You have to meet a load of people before you meet ones you want as friends/partners.
Don't get hung up on that. Why should they respond?
Anyway, relationships and friendships are a numbers game. You have to meet a load of people before you meet ones you want as friends/partners.
Well I believe if you put in a post that your are lonely and seeking new friends then you would respond?? And yes I agree on what you say but it's meeting them in the first place, which I successful did in Sept of last year I got chatting to someone on here, we meet twice got on good made plans to meet again, but nothing they keep saying it will work out in the end,but Iam not sure on that now so Iam hurt all over again. Thanks for your reply SLA :)
---------- Post added at 11:34 ---------- Previous post was at 11:26 ----------
And to add I could never do that to some make friends with some one then run out on them I would at least try and talk to them and try and resolve any problems but guess we are all different on that :) Guys I am not after sympathy, but empathy which is not the same. I will keep plodding on guess I have too!Cheers
People do let you down, I'm afraid and we have to move on. I'm sorry you've been upset but try not to let it get you down. You sound a very loyal type of person but not everyone is and feelings can get hurt.Put it down to experience and don't expect too much next time...that way you won't be disappointed?
xBettyBoopx
03-01-17, 21:44
Thank you flip! You know it wouldn't bother me if I actually was a loner then it wouldn't matter if I never met any one, but I am not a loner and need some god company nothing wrong in that :) It's like I was sifting through some old threads and found that a member actually lived in the same town as me! (ok no basis for friendship really) but reading through their posts they were looking for new friends to go out etc. So checked their profile and sadly no link to email them they hadn't been on the forum for over a 1000 days so asked Admins help they kindly sent a email to them and they have been back on the forum read my couple of pm's sent to them but hadn't had the decency to get back to me why???? So naturally I think there is something wrong with me tell me there isn't Thank you flip :)
There's nothing wrong with you. From your posts on here I would say that you are a very nice person! We are far too senstitive for our own good when it comes to things like that.....I would have felt the same as you :weep: People let you down sometimes for a reason known only to them:scared15::scared15: But don't get hung up on it coz the only person who will suffer is you :lac:
I hope you find good friendships soon.
:bighug1::bighug1:
People do let you down, I'm afraid and we have to move on. I'm sorry you've been upset but try not to let it get you down. You sound a very loyal type of person but not everyone is and feelings can get hurt.Put it down to experience and don't expect too much next time...that way you won't be disappointed? Thanks guess I was too trusting with this person, Iam loyal and expect loyality back, it's a 2 way street in my book :)
---------- Post added at 10:32 ---------- Previous post was at 10:22 ----------
There's nothing wrong with you. From your posts on here I would say that you are a very nice person! We are far too senstitive for our own good when it comes to things like that.....I would have felt the same as you :weep: People let you down sometimes for a reason known only to them:scared15::scared15: But don't get hung up on it coz the only person who will suffer is you :lac:
I hope you find good friendships soon.
:bighug1::bighug1:
What I don't understand is why they don't tell you, I mean you are already hurt Honesty is the best way and to have built my hopes up regarding some of the things that we were thinking of doing as friends well it sucks now. Yes I am a nice person, probably too nice and that's why I have been walked over and taken for a ride! I would like to think things will change for me as lonliness is a terrible thing to bear Thank you :)
The onus is on you to make the change happen though BB.
I spent a long-time "hoping" things would change on there own, but they rarely do.
These days, if things aren't working for me, I know I need to do something different.
You do seem like a nice person, but sometimes our expectations of others let us down. We need to keep pushing to find the right people to have in our lives.
Very bad and still feel I should name them and I don't think it's revenge but just my way of venting they have to know what they are doing to me. Simple really :)
---------- Post added at 11:51 ---------- Previous post was at 11:47 ----------
The onus is on you to make the change happen though BB.
I spent a long-time "hoping" things would change on there own, but they rarely do.
These days, if things aren't working for me, I know I need to do something different.
You do seem like a nice person, but sometimes our expectations of others let us down. We need to keep pushing to find the right people to have in our lives. I do agree with that SLA, and I do keep pushing but its battling with strong currents so I am not moving upstream as I should be :)
I appreciate your comments thank you
Catherine S
04-01-17, 12:50
Hi BB, can I ask why this one person is so important to you? You seem to have been holding onto this 'non' friendship for quite some time now, and from what you say in your posts about this, your offer of friendship is not being accepted by him so can you not just move on from this, as you often advise others to do? Good friends are a precious I know, but he's not being a friend tovyou and to keep beating yourself up about it isn't good for your health. If he's not interested in continuing with the friendship, you have to find a way to walk away from it mentally.
Take care
ISB x
Hi BB, can I ask why this one person is so important to you? You seem to have been holding onto this 'non' friendship for quite some time now, and from what you say in your posts about this, your offer of friendship is not being accepted by him so can you not just move on from this, as you often advise others to do? Good friends are a precious I know, but he's not being a friend tovyou and to keep beating yourself up about it isn't good for your health. If he's not interested in continuing with the friendship, you have to find a way to walk away from it mentally.
Take care
ISB x Hi ISB course you can! I guess it was to do with they way they came over in their many messages to me in the past. Very understanding, caring, polite and genuine etc. so yes thought that is so good and I have waited a long time for a friend like that and accepted his life line that he gave me many months ago. So what was I supposed to do not accept
the lifeline?? And it's easier to give the same advice to some one than take
your own advice I think does that make any sense?? The other thing that doesn't make sense to me is why hasn't he blocked if he doesn't want to know me any more now that is confusing!! Thanks ISB cheers
Catherine S
04-01-17, 14:54
Of course you accepted that lifeline BB, anybody would have, but the point is that something changed for him and he became more distant and cooled things off. It sounds like he wasn't doing that in a very nice way, so I understand that it upsets you. I also understand that loneliness can make us hold onto people we shouldn't hold on to.
ISB x
Of course you accepted that lifeline BB, anybody would have, but the point is that something changed for him and he became more distant and cooled things off. It sounds like he wasn't doing that in a very nice way, so I understand that it upsets you. I also understand that loneliness can make us hold onto people we shouldn't hold on to.
ISB x Well there was someone else on here recently I did offer a life line to and they were in a mess but they declined it so not 100% of people will accept a lifeline but hear what you are saying! The other thing is why did I get a Christmas card off him if he didn't want to know me any more? I know a few people who through other people who don't send me card and yet they don't send any to me I am just looking for glimmers of hope from this person who became a friend of mine but is a Christmas card enough really? And yes I do deserve better miles better but reckon I will be searching for ever :eek: Once again thank you Cheers
---------- Post added at 15:49 ---------- Previous post was at 15:45 ----------
If only some one could get through to his head might make them think a bit harder? Running out of ideas now folks.
xBettyBoopx
04-01-17, 15:54
Well there was someone else on here recently I did offer a life line to and they were in a mess but they declined it so not 100% of people will accept a lifeline but hear what you are saying! The other thing is why did I get a Christmas card off him if he didn't want to know me any more? I know a few people who through other people who don't send me card and yet they don't send any to me I am just looking for glimmers of hope from this person who became a friend of mine but is a Christmas card enough really? And yes I do deserve better miles better but reckon I will be searching for ever :eek: Once again thank you Cheers
---------- Post added at 15:49 ---------- Previous post was at 15:45 ----------
If only some one could get through to his head might make them think a bit harder? Running out of ideas now folks.
As someone who has a lot more problems than anyone on here or elsewhere knows, I can tell you that it's easier to give or post a Christmas card than it is to be friendly and get close to people! You just don't know what is going on in others lives. You become like "what is wrong with me that you done that to me" but more times than not, it's not even about you, it's about them! Offer to be there if that person wants to talk and leave it at that.
:bighug1:
I have learned not to take things so personally. Yes it hurts when you think you have found a good friend and then they turn their back on you but it maybe issues of their own and not intending to hurt you. It is in times of great need though that you find your true friends. I thought I had lots and was always their for them but when it was my turn to need help and support I found that I only had a couple of real friends. I would rather have those than a lot who don't really care though. :hugs::hugs:
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