Lymph node panic

[GlassPinata]

I'm 44, female, and a few days ago found a lump in the side of my neck, quite by chance, about halfway down (but slightly closer to my shoulder than my head). Left side.
I'm sure it hasn't always been there. There is no corresponding node on the other side. It doesn't seem like the right place for a swollen node to be- I can feel several nodes, but most are more toward the front of my neck, up closer to my chin.
I haven't been sick. I can think of no reason for a node to swell up.
I don't know how big it is- not terribly big, I suppose. But VERY prominent. I don't have to really press to feel it, just run my fingers down my neck. I'm thin, and because I'm middle-aged the skin on my neck is thin, and this thing is lying right under the skin, possibly over a vein or tendon. So, like... very prominent.
I've been freaking out badly since discovering this. I live in the US, I'm a single mom, recently divorced, quite poor, no medical insurance currently. I literally have no way to go to the doctor at this time. Hoping to get something worked out in the next year or so.

One thing I noticed today, however... when I move the skin over the *lump*, like, when I pull the skin to one side, I can no longer feel the lump in that spot. It looks like I have several tiny clogged pores right in that spot (but non-tender, not like a pimple, and not red or inflamed-looking). It's like this lump is in my skin somehow, rather than under it. Could it be some sort of cyst? Wouldn't that be painful though, or at least tender? But if it's a lymph node, it would still be feel-able when I move the skin over it, correct?
So confused. I'm really hoping it's some sort of skin cyst, a clogged pore, something. But I don't remember ever having a pimple in that exact spot, although I have had them on my neck before.
I just don't know what to think, and today was my first day back at work since finding this thing, and it went pretty badly. I kept having the irresistible urge to leave my work station to go into the bathroom, stare in the mirror, and palpate this lump in my neck.
While doing this, I'd fall into a sort of trance, although my mind was racing a mile a minute with cancer thoughts, and before I knew it ten or fifteen minutes would pass.
I couldn't stop messing with the lump to the point that my coworkers noticed and asked if I had a sore throat.
I did not know how to explain my fear to them without seeming crazy.
Somehow, it was easier to deal with this at home than at work.
I fear the rest of my (possibly short!) life is going to be intolerable.
Why did I have to find this thing, and what is it??? :weep:

[Fishmanpa]

a few days ago found a lump in the side of my neck, quite by chance

Ok... let's be real. You didn't find "anything" "quite by chance". You poked and prodded and found something that's always been there and have not noticed prior IMO.

So over the next few days, you've poked and prodded some more and probably irritated wherever this is and made it react, swell and cause your increase in anxiety.

If you're that concerned, just see your doctor. Let us know what they say.

Positive thoughts

[GlassPinata]

Like I said, no medical insurance. No money. Single mom with a preschooler. living in the US. There's literally no way. Hence my efforts to figure this out myself.
Believe me, if I still had medical insurance, I would've been at the doctor several days ago.
I lost my medical insurance after my divorce a year and a half ago, and am struggling just to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. i do not have 200 per month for medical insurance. My son, luckily, is insured by his father. But I have no insurance.

I should mention that an acquaintance was diagnosed a few years ago with liver cancer. He was poor and uninsured. He ended up losing his job because he was too sick to work, then losing his place, becoming homeless, begging for change on the streets, self-medicating with alcohol, living in a tent city with a bunch of other homeless people, and finally just dropping dead.
Now, this guy had not always made the best choices in life, and I am not saying that his fate would ever become mine- his decision to drink heavily to escape the misery and hopelessness of the situation surely hastened his death. But there's not much he could've done to prevent it, really.
I guess that's what really scares me. The state of health care in the US is deplorable. If this turns out to be serious, I don't know how I will get help, and I have a small child.

[PanickyGuy]

Kinda sounds like what I got, GlassPinata, but in my case, it's on the outside of my right leg near my knee cap. I can push it around and it almost disappears sometimes. But I've been told people usually get them in the neck, back, and shoulders.

I showed my doctor mine years ago and he told me that it was a fatty deposit (lipoma). He said they're usually harmless, not cancerous, unless they just bother you all the time, in which case, people have them removed with surgery.

[worriermama]

How big is it? I have a soft, movable one that's like the size of a lima bean on the side of my neck, right in the middle. It's been there for years, but it wasn't always there. It just feels like a squishy bean that moves around under the skin.

I also had one on the back of my neck for a while at the base of my skull, off to the left side. It was fixed in place and firm. Freaked out about it but it went away eventually.

Also had one up under my chin to the right, also fixed and firm, and that one hung around for years too before disappearing.

Palpable nodes are pretty common and normal. I've been down the lymphoma worry road, but what you describe does not sound menacing at all.

I won't go into details but from what I've read and heard from others, troublesome/dangerous nodes really make themselves known.

I relate to your worries as a mom. I am lucky to be married and insured but I still freak out about my kids, 1 and 3 years old, when I start thinking I have a terrible disease.

[GlassPinata]

Kinda sounds like what I got, GlassPinata, but in my case, it's on the outside of my right leg near my knee cap. I can push it around and it almost disappears sometimes. But I've been told people usually get them in the neck, back, and shoulders.

I showed my doctor mine years ago and he told me that it was a fatty deposit (lipoma). He said they're usually harmless, not cancerous, unless they just bother you all the time, in which case, people have them removed with surgery.

I've got one like that in my thigh. It's a lipoma.
By the time I went to the doctor, it had been there for four years (but I suddenly, for no reason, freaked out about it shortly after my son was born).
The doctor told me, "If this was cancer and you'd had it for four years, your leg would've rotted off by now." Lol.

---------- Post added at 05:02 ---------- Previous post was at 05:00 ----------


How big is it? I have a soft, movable one that's like the size of a lima bean on the side of my neck, right in the middle. It's been there for years, but it wasn't always there. It just feels like a squishy bean that moves around under the skin.

I also had one on the back of my neck for a while at the base of my skull, off to the left side. It was fixed in place and firm. Freaked out about it but it went away eventually.

Also had one up under my chin to the right, also fixed and firm, and that one hung around for years too before disappearing.

Palpable nodes are pretty common and normal. I've been down the lymphoma worry road, but what you describe does not sound menacing at all.

I won't go into details but from what I've read and heard from others, troublesome/dangerous nodes really make themselves known.

I relate to your worries as a mom. I am lucky to be married and insured but I still freak out about my kids, 1 and 3 years old, when I start thinking I have a terrible disease.

That is reassuring to hear, thank you.
I guess I'm just paranoid because the open enrollment period just passed, and I did not get health insurance yet again (seriously can't afford it!)
I know i'm taking a gamble with my health, but I don't HAVE an extra 200 a month.
Life is just not fair sometimes. :(

[worriermama]

I understand, I have friends in the same boat. :( My one friend has poorly controlled type 1 diabetes and they are dirt poor... I mean really, really poor. She has to pay to keep her insurance, for obvious reasons, but it means they have basically zero money for anything else, and they have three kids. Nobody should be in that position. I hope this year treats you well and you can get signed up next November for some peace of mind.