New user - could it be anxiety?

[AndyM123]

I'm a new user to this forum and have been going through a rough time with my health. I am a serial Google user searching for answers / reassurance which I know is not a good idea however it did lead me to this forum which is something.

Keeping it brief(ish), I have had various issues over the last 14 months. These include back pain (muscular and aches), kidney area discomfort, chest tightness, abdominal ache, bowel concerns (IBS) and most recently burning/tingling/itchiness in my feet, legs, arms and face. This has seen me back and forward to the doctor with ultrasound, MRI (abdominal/chest) and stool tests all of which were clear and an ambulance call out when my chest tightness and heart rate prompted a call to NHS 24. The doctor most recently prescribed me amitriptyline for my abdominal and back issues however I stopped them when the burning etc started. 3 weeks later I still have them and I feel my drug theory is wrong due to the time period that has lapsed. I'll be honest and say these recent sensations have me obsessed with MS. I have worked all of my various issues into that outcome and I now think about it 24/7. I am due back to my doctors however not for a few weeks due to his availability.

I have read with interest a number of stories with regards to health anxiety and it has led to this post. During the 14 month period, my wife has been pregnant and given birth to our first daughter, we are older parents and this was our last shot at that dream which has worked out well. The correlation between my symptoms starting and the pregnancy etc.are not lost on me. I have a panic when I think I may not be able to do all things a father needs to do with his daughter and ridiculously I get emotional when I see those types of activities on TV or elsewhere. I have never been emotional however I would say I am now overly so.

Could this all be anxiety?? I am very black and white, factual and I struggle to reconcile that I could be doing this to myself however if it is I need to come to terms with it to move on.

Anyway I have been pondering posting something and now we are in 2017 I have taken the plunge. Thanks for reading and any comments anyone takes the time to make.

[Stena]

Welcome:) and congratulations on becoming a father.

I have suffered from HA for 5 years now and really struggle to cope with it all. In my work life I am responsible for several projects, manage a number of staff and make decisions calculated on risk, but with HA all logic goes out of the window when I start to spiral and I am reduced to a nervous wreck. When I am in the HA tsunami, I am aware of every little ache, pain or anomaly in my body - and then I spend months focusing on this symptom monitoring it daily. But eventually it does disappear, only to be replaced some months later with another new symptom.

I have recently had a health scare and despite a scan and reassurance from the consultant that there was nothing suspicious I still feel that they may have missed something and I will be one of the misfortunate few who have been misdiagnosed (such thinking assisted by googling and reading of exceptional circumstances where people didn't have the textbook symptoms and were misdiagnosed). All I can say, is that I had a busy week before Christmas and was unable to undertake my daily checking/monitoring and the result was that I had no symptoms to speak of. But post Christmas, the old HA reared its ugly head once more and the old habits returned and of course the symptoms (and some new ones thrown!)

I have older children and had my last child in my late 30s. This made me more aware of my own mortality and I worried that I would not be around to see him grow up.

I hope you find your path, but try to enjoy this lovely time with your daughter. HA robs us of these precious times. It is almost as though it lurks in the background and waits until you are feeling happy again and then appears like the party pooper ready to spoil all the fun.

Take care

[AndyM123]

Thanks Stena.

You seem to have largely accepted HA as being the responsible party for your symptoms, how did you get there? Lots of tests and doctors visits?

As I mentioned my latest is burning etc. and although I have read a few stories on here that HA can present in this way, I am toiling to make that jump and consequently I'm worried and struggling to sleep.

[Stena]

Hi,
It was really my behaviour following another health scare nearly four years ago e.g. my inability to accept the all clear following scans etc., and my obsessive thoughts/actions which followed. I have always been an avoider in terms of going to my GP, but the two health scares have been such that it was necessary to go. I do know that I did not suffer from HA before and was largely blasé about my health in the past and would not question or obsess about any symptoms I would have. My dad was misdiagnosed for a week or so when he had lung cancer and we were all given hope when he was given the all clear. We were truly elated that he didn't have lung cancer only to be devastated when further investigations confirmed that he had cancer and it was terminal. I don't blame the doctors for this as his tumour was hidden and not picked up by the scans, only the results from the blood tests prompted a concern. I think that this also plays into my HA fears.


I find it difficult to accept I have HA and have struggled to cope with the flare-ups as do my family. What I do now is keep a journal of my feelings and symptoms which can be therapeutic for me and also reminds me of similar instances when I have been convinced that this time it will be the big C. It might be worth approaching your GP to ask for some CBT training. I have been a voluntary counsellor for over 20 years but feel totally unable to heal myself:mad:

Feel free to pm me if you want

[xBettyBoopx]

Hi Andy and welcome to NMP.

It certainly sounds like anxiety to me but I'm not a doctor. Sounds also like the anxiety is about being a dad and being an "older parent". Do you think it could be about that? I don't have children so I can't comment much more on that but it seems that your anxiety started around that time?!

I hope you find the site and the people here helpful.

Els
x

[AndyM123]

Hi Els,

Thanks for responding.

I agree the timing fits nicely as prior to that I don't recall having health issues much at all. I am drawn to the worst case scenario and the thought process has been either cancer which takes me away from enjoying seeing my daughter grow or over the past few weeks MS which prevents me from doing all those 'dad things'.

In my rational moments this all makes sense and I can breathe, in the less rational moments which are more frequent I find myself lost. Exercise of any description helps and I tried a long walk today however I am almost looking for the burning sensation and that aside the concern was on my mind the entire time. Sleep is proving a challenge every night and I have dropped 2 kgs in the last few weeks, even over Christmas!! Totally stressed out.

Thanks again for listening. Having comments from yourself and Stena really helps.

[Sphincterclench]

I cant speak to much...but

I am a father with MS. I have 9 children that would pay substantial money for me to do less with them. MS isnt the death sentence it appears. Sure its robbed me of different functions at different points in my life and there have been set backs, but its hardly a game ender, kids need your TIME not you running a marathon (which still isnt out of the question) and TIME you have to offer.

rest easy...

[GlassPinata]

Yes, all those symptoms COULD be caused by anxiety. it causes a diverse array of physical symptoms.
And I totally understand your concerns about being around for your child.
I am a single 44-year-old mother to a 4-year-old.
I have two grown children (25 and 27) and a 7-year-old grandchild.
Having a child at 40 kicked my pre-existing health anxiety into high gear, and when my husband left me it got even worse.
Last night I was cuddling my little boy to sleep and he said, "Mommy, I feel safe when you hold me."
And I just realized that I MUST, no matter what, stay here and raise this child. No disease is going to take me out, and I will not allow myself to be disabled by anxiety when I'm not even physically ill!
You and I have to work extra hard to keep our bodies healthy and our minds peaceful, focused, and positive, because we have no choice but to live to old age. We have to do this, for our children.
Best of luck.

---------- Post added at 19:33 ---------- Previous post was at 19:27 ----------


I cant speak to much...but

I am a father with MS. I have 9 children that would pay substantial money for me to do less with them. MS isnt the death sentence it appears. Sure its robbed me of different functions at different points in my life and there have been set backs, but its hardly a game ender, kids need your TIME not you running a marathon (which still isnt out of the question) and TIME you have to offer.

rest easy...

Exactly. i worry about raising a boy alone because I am not athletic, I do not enjoy throwing balls around, playing sports, wrestling... but the main thing is to offer your child time. Do a project together, do some coloring, play an imaginary game with stuffed animals, read a book.
Different parents have different strengths and weaknesses, but as long as you love your children and spend time with them, it doesn't matter what you do, specifically. They'll remember the love, and the time spent.